Chapter 26
Lucas started sleeping better accidentally.
Sabrina realized this because he stopped texting her at three in the morning.
Which should not have felt as emotionally significant as it did.
But somehow it did.
The realization hit her fully one Tuesday evening while she stood in his kitchen stealing strawberries directly from the container.
"You're sleeping."
Lucas looked up from the espresso machine suspiciously.
"What?"
"You're sleeping normally again."
His expression shifted slightly.
Like he hadn't noticed.
"Huh."
Sabrina smiled softly before biting into another strawberry.
"You haven't called me during an existential crisis in over a week."
"That sounds judgmental."
"It's observant."
Lucas walked toward her afterward holding two mugs before stopping directly in front of her.
Too close.
Always too close lately.
And somehow neither of them avoided it anymore.
"You know what I realized?" he asked quietly.
Her heartbeat quickened slightly.
"What?"
"I sleep better when you're around."
Oh.
Straight to emotional violence apparently.
Sabrina looked up at him slowly.
Lucas seemed to realize how intimate the statement sounded only afterward because something nervous flickered briefly across his expression.
Too late now.
Way too late.
"That's a very dangerous thing to say to someone," she said softly.
"I know."
But he didn't take it back.
Of course he didn't.
Because lately Lucas had started doing something terrifying:
letting her see how much she mattered.
Not through grand confessions.
Small things instead.
Instinctive things.
Like reaching for her hand automatically in crowds.
Like relaxing the second she walked into a room.
Like looking for her first without realizing it.
It was happening slowly enough that maybe nobody else would notice.
But Sabrina noticed.
And worse?
She was doing it too.
Later that night they ended up sprawled across his couch while some terrible action movie played ignored in the background.
Sabrina's legs rested across Lucas's lap now without thought.
Again:
dangerously domestic.
Lucas absently traced patterns against her ankle while scrolling through emails on his phone.
Then suddenly he sighed.
Sabrina looked up immediately.
"What?"
"My mother wants me at another charity gala next week."
"That sounds survivable."
"She invited Claire."
Ah.
There it was.
The atmosphere shifted faintly.
Lucas noticed immediately.
"Sabrina."
"I'm fine."
"You're lying."
She looked away toward the TV.
Because honestly?
Maybe she was tired.
Tired of pretending Claire didn't bother her.
Tired of wondering whether she'd always fit Lucas's life more naturally than Sabrina ever could.
Lucas set his phone down slowly.
"What's going on in your head?"
Dangerous question.
Sabrina hesitated before answering quietly:
"I think eventually you're going to realize people like Claire make more sense."
The silence afterward felt immediate.
Heavy.
Lucas stared at her like the statement genuinely offended him.
"You still believe that?"
"She understands your world."
Lucas leaned back slowly against the couch, eyes fixed on her now.
"No," he said quietly. "She understood the version of me everyone else sees."
The words landed directly in Sabrina's chest.
"And you don't?"
His gaze softened slightly.
"You know the parts I hide."
Oh.
That almost hurt.
Sabrina's pulse jumped painfully hard while Lucas continued watching her with that same impossible honesty she was becoming addicted to.
"You know when I'm overwhelmed before I say anything."
"You know when I haven't slept."
"You know how to calm me down without trying."
His voice stayed quiet.
Real.
"And somehow you still think you matter less."
Sabrina couldn't breathe properly for a second.
Because nobody had ever looked at her like this before.
Like she was necessary.
Lucas reached for her hand carefully then, fingers threading slowly through hers.
Intentional.
Steady.
"You make my life feel human again," he admitted softly.
Her heart physically ached.
Because that wasn't casual affection anymore.
That was something bigger.
Something terrifyingly close to love.
And judging by the look on Lucas's face afterward, he realized it too.
The room fell silent.
Neither moved.
Neither looked away.
Then Sabrina whispered the question both of them had been avoiding for weeks.
"What are we doing?"
Lucas went still.
There it was.
The line neither of them had crossed yet.
Not fake dating.
Not friendship.
Something unnamed sitting dangerously between them.
Lucas looked down briefly at their joined hands before answering quietly:
"I don't know."
The honesty should've hurt.
Instead it hurt worse that she believed him.
Because Lucas genuinely didn't know how to let himself have this.
Didn't know how to trust something real enough not to ruin it.
Still holding her hand, he looked back at her carefully.
"But I know I don't want it to stop."
And honestly?
That might've been the most honest thing he'd said yet.