Chapter 33
The internet broke by midnight.
Not metaphorically.
Actually broke.
Sabrina discovered this while sitting frozen on her couch two hours after Lucas's interview ended watching social media collapse into complete emotional chaos.
Every platform looked the same:
clips of Lucas saying "She was never temporary to me."
people crying over edits within record speed,
fans losing their minds in thirty-seven different languages.
Even celebrities were reacting.
Which honestly felt invasive.
Chloe sat cross-legged beside her aggressively refreshing TikTok.
"Oh, he changed lives tonight."
Sabrina still hadn't fully recovered from the interview enough to speak normally.
Because Lucas hadn't sounded polished.
Or careful.
He sounded devastated.
In love.
Terrified.
Honest.
And somehow the vulnerability in his voice kept replaying painfully inside her chest.
Especially:
"I disappeared into PR strategies because that's what I've trained myself to do whenever things become difficult."
God.
She understood now.
Lucas hadn't chosen fame over her.
He'd panicked.
Emotionally reverted back into survival mode.
Not because she mattered less—
because she mattered too much.
That realization hurt almost as badly as the separation itself.
Her phone buzzed suddenly beside her.
One message.
Lucas.
Sabrina's pulse jumped violently.
She stared at the screen for five full seconds before opening it.
Lucas:
I meant every word.
Her throat tightened instantly.
Another message appeared immediately after.
Lucas:
I know I don't deserve an easy conversation after everything.
And then:
Lucas:
But please let me see you.
Sabrina shut her eyes briefly.
Because despite everything—
despite the heartbreak and exhaustion and fear—
every part of her still wanted him.
Dangerous information honestly.
Chloe watched her expression carefully.
"That bad?"
Sabrina handed her the phone silently.
Chloe read the messages before immediately looking offended.
"Why is he emotionally attractive?"
"Chloe."
"No seriously, this is manipulative behavior from the universe."
Despite herself, Sabrina laughed weakly.
Then almost cried immediately afterward.
Because she missed him.
So much.
The realization felt unbearable now that she knew he missed her too.
Her phone buzzed again.
This time:
an incoming call.
Lucas.
Sabrina stared at it while her heartbeat thundered violently.
Chloe slowly stood from the couch.
"I'm leaving."
"You don't have to—"
"I absolutely do." Chloe pointed toward the phone. "That conversation is about to become emotionally illegal."
Fair honestly.
A minute later Sabrina stood alone in the quiet apartment holding her phone like it contained explosives.
Then finally answered.
"Hi."
The silence on the other end nearly destroyed her instantly.
Not awkward.
Overwhelmed.
Lucas exhaled softly through the phone.
"Hi."
God.
Just hearing his voice again hurt.
Because suddenly every memory crashed back all at once:
late-night drives,
bookstores,
his hand against the small of her back,
the way he always sounded softer with her than anyone else.
Neither spoke for a second.
Then Lucas laughed quietly.
"You still answer the phone like you're preparing for emotional combat."
That almost made her cry immediately.
Because it sounded normal.
Familiar.
Like them.
Sabrina sat slowly on the edge of the couch.
"You did a live emotional confession on national television."
"I know."
"That was insane."
"Also true."
A small silence followed.
Then quieter:
"Did you mean it?"
The question slipped out before she could stop it.
Lucas answered instantly.
"Yes."
No hesitation.
None.
Sabrina pressed trembling fingers against her forehead.
Because some part of her still needed reassurance despite everything.
Lucas's voice softened further.
"I've never meant anything more."
Her chest physically ached.
"You looked terrified."
A faint laugh escaped him quietly.
"I was."
That honesty again.
Always devastating.
Lucas inhaled slowly afterward.
"I almost walked out twice before the interview started."
"Why didn't you?"
Silence briefly.
Then:
"Because losing you already feels worse than anything people could say about me publicly."
Sabrina shut her eyes hard.
God.
This man.
The apartment suddenly felt too small for the amount of emotion crushing through her chest.
Lucas continued quietly:
"I spent weeks trying to solve this like a public scandal instead of a relationship." His voice roughened slightly. "And meanwhile you were drowning beside me."
The guilt in his tone hurt.
"Sabrina..." He paused briefly. "I'm so sorry."
The sincerity nearly wrecked her.
Because Lucas almost never apologized emotionally unless he truly meant it.
And tonight he sounded completely stripped bare.
Sabrina swallowed hard.
"You hurt me."
"I know."
"And I hated feeling like your world would always come first eventually."
Another painful silence followed.
Then Lucas admitted softly:
"I hated that you believed that."
The honesty in his voice stunned her quiet.
"I should've protected us better," he continued. "Not hidden us. Protected us."
Something inside Sabrina cracked open hearing the difference.
Because for the first time, Lucas understood:
privacy and emotional avoidance weren't the same thing.
She leaned back slowly against the couch cushions while rain tapped softly against the windows again.
London always seemed to rain when their lives fell apart.
"You know what the worst part was?" she admitted quietly.
"What?"
"I still missed you every second."
Lucas exhaled shakily through the phone.
And suddenly she realized:
he'd probably been holding himself together by force alone tonight.
"I missed you too," he admitted quietly. "Everything felt wrong without you."
The ache in her chest deepened immediately.
Because she believed him completely now.
No doubt left.
No uncertainty.
Just fear.
Fear that loving each other still might not be enough long-term.
Lucas seemed to sense the hesitation in her silence.
His voice softened carefully.
"I know you're scared."
Sabrina laughed weakly.
"That obvious?"
"Yes."
Unfortunately fair.
Lucas continued gently:
"But I need you to understand something."
Her pulse jumped slightly.
"When things got difficult..." He paused briefly. "I didn't run toward Claire. Or work. Or reputation."
His throat tightened audibly.
"I ran straight into the worst parts of myself."
The confession shattered her.
Because suddenly Sabrina understood:
Lucas's emotional avoidance had never been about loving her less.
It was about not knowing how to survive vulnerability without trying to control it.
And maybe that was fixable.
Maybe.
Lucas spoke again before she could process fully.
"I can't promise fame suddenly becomes easy," he admitted. "I can't promise there won't be more headlines or pressure or public attention."
Her chest tightened slightly again.
"But I can promise," he continued quietly, "that I will never make you feel temporary again."
Tears burned instantly behind her eyes.
Because there it was again.
The thing she'd needed all along.
Not perfection.
Not certainty.
Choice.
Lucas choosing her despite the chaos.
Not when convenient.
Not privately.
Openly.
Completely.
Sabrina wiped quickly beneath her eyes before emotion completely destroyed her dignity.
"Lucas."
His voice dropped softer immediately hearing something shift in hers.
"Yeah?"
"I don't know how to do this perfectly either."
"You don't have to."
The answer came instantly.
Gentle.
Certain.
And somehow that hurt more than dramatic declarations ever could.
Because Lucas finally sounded emotionally steady.
Like he'd stopped trying to manage love and simply decided to feel it honestly instead.
Sabrina inhaled slowly.
Then quietly:
"I'm still scared."
"I know."
"But I still love you."
Silence.
Then a broken exhale from Lucas like the words physically knocked the air from his lungs.
"Sabrina."
Her chest ached hearing her name in his voice.
That tone.
That overwhelming softness he reserved only for her.
Then Lucas asked quietly:
"Can I come see you?"
Her heart nearly stopped immediately.
Because suddenly this was real.
No separation.
No phone barriers.
No emotional distance left to hide behind.
Just them.
Again.
Sabrina looked toward the rain-streaked windows while nerves and love and fear tangled violently inside her chest.
Then finally whispered:
"Yes."