Chapter 25
Allegra
“I THINK I screwed up.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Cassie said. “Are we referring to insulting Harry’s manhood, quitting your job, or are you still paying those ridiculous dues to Equinox when you haven’t been there in over a year?”
I was actually still paying four hundred dollars a month to Equinox. I made a mental note to cancel my membership and sighed. “I’m talking about things with Matteo.”
“Who?”
“My neighbor. I didn’t mention him before because I wasn’t ready to admit there was something going on. But…there is.”
“Oooh. This sounds juicy. Wait, hang on. I want to get a glass of wine for this conversation.”
I looked at the clock on the microwave and did the math. “It’s pretty early in New York still.”
“Don’t be judgy. Ryan’s mother is coming over for dinner at four—you know, early-bird-special time. And a little pregaming will help me control myself when she tells me what’s wrong with my chicken piccata.”
I laughed. “I’d have one with you, but I think I had enough the other night.”
“Oh boy. I’m going to need a full glass for this. But give me a minute because I have to open a bottle and I need two hands.”
“Okay.”
I heard the sound of Cassie moving around the kitchen, a drawer opening and closing, and then a minute later there was a loud pop! followed by the familiar glug glug of wine being poured.
Then she came back on the line. “Okay. I’m ready. Tell me what you did to push the hot neighbor away.”
“How did you know I—” I shook my head and sighed. “Never mind. I did.”
“Start from the beginning.”
I did a quick recap on how much time Matteo and I had been spending together before our trip, including the kisses we’d shared and the night at the club. “That brings me to the trip to Amalfi. When I decided to go see my sister, he offered to come with me.”
Cassie interrupted. “Hang on. Go see who?”
“Oh my God.” I laughed. “It really has been a busy week. I haven’t even told you about Camilla yet.”
It took another fifteen minutes to catch Cassie up on that calamity before I moved on to the actual trip down to Positano.
“Thankfully, Matteo drove because the road was insane. I swear, I’ve never held on to the oh-shit bar that tightly in my life.
The highway winds around a mountain, high above the Mediterranean.
You’re literally looking straight down a cliff on a narrow, two-lane road that huge tour buses swing around like they have a death wish. But the view was incredible.”
“View shmoo,” she countered. “I’ll Google it. Get to the good stuff.”
I smiled. “Basically, I got really upset after seeing my sister, and Matteo let me cry my eyes out in the car. He pulled me over the center console onto his lap and held me for the longest time.”
“Awww… I like him already.”
My smile faded into something softer, sadder.
“Me too. He’s a really good guy. Has these old-school Italian values you don’t find in guys back in New York.
Like he helps the older people in his community and just has a protective way about him.
Sitting on his lap in the car, the only reason I stopped crying was because I believed him when he told me everything would be okay.
I want to believe in him. I want to lean on him and let him lean on me. ”
“Wow. You really like this guy.”
“I do.”
“Let me guess, you self-sabotaged because you got scared?”
“Maybe…” I sighed. “I had too much to drink and came on to him that night. He turned me down, which I actually appreciated the next morning. But when I was thinking about it all, I realized that even sober, I wanted to be with him. So over breakfast, I proposed a no-strings-attached fling.”
“Why would you do that if you’re into—” She stopped short. “Oh, because you’re scared.”
Scared. I hated that word. I associated it with weakness, with people who froze. The kind that let life happen to them instead of taking it by the throat. But deep down, I knew she was right.
“How did he respond to your proposal?” she asked.
“I think I offended him. He told me he wanted more from me.”
“Then what happened?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “We drove home for hours in uncomfortable silence. That was four days ago. I haven’t heard from him since, and I’ve been avoiding going left out of the driveway so I don’t have to pass his house.”
“Oh, honey,” she said in that soft, sympathetic tone. “It sounds like you really like him?”
“I do. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way about a guy.” I hesitated, then admitted quietly, “Maybe never.”
“Then you’ve got to figure out your shit. You can’t let all the men who disappointed you in the past convince you every future relationship will end the same way. That’s not fair to put on this guy—or to put on you. If you want something real, you can’t run away because it scares you.”
Her words stirred something inside me, leaving me unsettled. “What if it doesn’t work out?”
“What if it does and he’s the love of your life?”
“How would we even make it work? He lives here, and I live in New York.”
“Stop making excuses. You’ll figure it out.”
“That’s what he said.” I stayed silent for a minute, thinking. “It’s killing me not seeing him. I’ve been so down the last few days. My brain is so focused on what I should do about Matteo that I haven’t even thought much about my newfound sister.”
“I know you, Allegra. You didn’t need four days to figure out what you should do. You had the answer before you even got out of the man’s car. You needed some time to make peace with it. And you only called me because you needed a good kick in the ass to make it happen.”
I smiled. She was right. But I also knew her. “When we hang up, you’re going to research the reciprocity of my law license in Italy, aren’t you?”
She chuckled. “I already typed it into Westlaw while you were talking.”
“Thank you for listening to me.”
“No problema,” Cassie said. “See? I’m already brushing up on my Italian. But now you have to pick up tomorrow when I call to complain about my mother-in-law. Even if you’re still in recovery from finally banging the Italian stallion.”
I laughed. “Bye, Cass.”
“Good luck!”
It took me an hour to get up the courage to talk to Matteo, though I tossed around texting him for most of that time.
Ultimately, I decided that was taking the cowardly way out, and this was something I needed to do in person.
So I showered and blew out my hair, put on some makeup, and took a deep breath before going next door.
It was only four o’clock, so his crew was still working in the field. Tomasso flashed a flirty grin when I approached.
“Ciao,” I greeted. “Do you know where Matteo is?”
He pouted playfully and put a hand over his heart. “And here I thought you were coming to see me.”
I chuckled. “Is he around?”
Tomasso gestured to the detached garage on the side of the house. “He’s-a fixing a sprinkler head.”
“Thanks.”
The walk to the garage felt a bit like walking the plank.
My legs were shaky, and I had no idea what was going to happen once I took that last step.
The door was open, and as I approached, the smell of burning metal permeated the air.
Matteo was standing at a work bench with some sort of a mask covering his face.
His shirtsleeves were rolled up, and he had a lit torch in one hand and a small object in the other.
I didn’t want to interrupt while he was literally playing with fire, so I waited.
When he finished what he was doing, he looked up.
Removing the mask from his face, he brushed his messy dark hair from his forehead and offered a small, surprised smile. “Ciao”
“Ciao.” I took a few more steps, and whatever I’d planned to say on the walk over suddenly disappeared from my mind.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. My heart raced so fast, I wasn’t sure how to steady it.
Eventually, I decided maybe I’d relax after I got this over with, so I was better off just ripping off the Band-Aid.
“I—I wanted to apologize again for the other day.”
Matteo studied me before grabbing a rag and wiping his hands. “That’s not necessary. You should never apologize for being honest.”
I looked down and shook my head. “The thing is, I wasn’t completely honest with you.” I paused. “Or myself.”
“Okay…”
I took a deep breath and raised my eyes. “You scare me, Matteo.”
He smiled, then closed the distance between us. I was a ball of nerves, but the minute he stroked my hair, my entire body let it go. No massage had ever worked that well.
Matteo slipped two fingers under my chin and lifted my face until our eyes met. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”
My heart melted. “I missed you, too.”
“Have dinner with me tonight?”
I loved that all I had to do was tell him I was scared, and he immediately picked up where we’d left off. I smiled. “Okay.”
“Go out or stay in?”
After four days away from him, I didn’t want to share him with anyone. “Let’s stay in.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll cook, yes?”
And just like that, the world shifted, and everything was level again. Jesus, why hadn’t I come over four days ago? “Thank you for not making me grovel.”
His eyes sparkled. “You’re welcome. Though I have to admit, I might enjoy making you beg in the future.”
I laughed, a little breathless and more than a little turned on. “What time?”
“How about eight? Looks like I’m going to have to take a drive after the picking day ends. The part I was trying to fix can’t be repaired.”
“Okay.” I waved. “I’ll let you get back to work, and see you tonight.”
I started to walk away, but two steps in, Matteo reached for my hand and tugged me back, wrapping me in his arms. “Not so fast,” he murmured before covering my mouth with his.
The kiss was tender and passionate, just on the right side of aggressive, making my knees go weak.
When we finally came up for air, he groaned.
“You must go. Or Tomasso will never let me live down walking back to da field looking like a fifteen-year-old boy.”
I chuckled, thinking he was kidding, but when I looked down, I realized he wasn’t. “Oh. Wow. You’re…”
He pointed to the door and shook his head. “Go now.”