Chapter 42
Allegra
WHAT THE HELL is he smiling about?
Matteo pulled into my driveway with his teeth on full display. His happiness pissed me off.
I folded my arms across my chest as he got out of the truck. “What are you so happy about?” Before he could respond, my gaze locked on the suitcase in his front seat. “Where are you heading?”
“To New York.”
My nose wrinkled. “Why?”
“After you.”
I was even more confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I thought you left,” he said, taking steps toward me.
“Why would you think that?”
“The shop, it is empty, and there were movers here the other day.”
“Oh. That. An antique dealer in Florence showed up at my door last week. He offered to buy everything in the shop—cash register and all—for a ridiculously low amount of money, but I took it.”
Matteo laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I almost got on a plane to chase you to another country when you were right next door.”
“Why would you chase me?”
He took a step closer. “Because I need something.”
“What?”
Matteo met my eyes. “You. I need you.”
A wave of emotions surged, and I had to swallow to force them down. I needed to be sure—really sure—of what he was saying, because I wouldn’t survive having my heart broken a second time. “What do you need me for?” I asked carefully.
He took a breath. “Do you think we can sit down and talk?”
I hesitated before nodding, and Matteo followed me into the house. I sat down in the living room, on the chair angled away from the couch to keep some space between us.
He frowned. “Do you think you could sit over here with me?”
“Why?”
“Because I need to be close to you. It’s been a long two weeks.”
My heart started to race, but still, I was wary. Matteo sat on the couch and looked at me, waiting. After a beat, I moved to sit beside him. He reached for my hands, and my eyes jumped to meet his.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
I held his gaze a long time before nodding.
Matteo took another deep breath and shook his head.
“I don’t know where to start. But I guess the best place is with an apology.
I’m so sorry I hurt you, Allegra.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
I stiffened at first—but it felt so good, so right, that I let myself fall into him.
“I’m so sorry, bellissima,” he mumbled into my hair. “I never meant to hurt you.”
After a long moment, he pulled back and looked into my eyes. “All this time, you thought you were the one who was afraid. But you were always open and honest about your fears. The truth is, it was me who couldn’t admit mine.”
He stared down at our joined hands. When he looked back up, his eyes were glassy.
“I met Izzy when I was young. She was unlike anyone I’d ever met—a free spirit I didn’t fully understand.
Her parents moved constantly, never staying in one place for long.
I thought that made her crave stability, that she needed something solid, someone steady.
So I tried to be that for her.” He gave a small, humorless laugh.
“But the truth was, she didn’t want roots.
She craved movement—picking up and going somewhere for months at a time, starting new hobbies and new businesses.
Reinventing herself. I was the constant in her chaos, and I thought giving her space to come and go was the right thing to do.
Eventually, she told me she needed more freedom than I was already giving. So I let her go.”
He shook his head. “Not like I had a choice. I told myself it wasn’t personal, that it wasn’t that I wasn’t enough.
We wanted different things, different lives.
” He paused. “She came back when she got sick, and I believed it was because she wanted to be with me in da end. I took care of her until she died, grieved her all over again, and told myself I’d made peace with it.
” He stared off at nothing. “But then I saw that tea set…” His jaw tightened.
“And suddenly, I had to face the truth. It wasn’t just about freedom.
There was someone else. I wasn’t enough for her.
That’s why she left.” He looked up, eyes glassy.
“Izzy…she was my first love. Puppy love, really. But you? You’re my once in a lifetime.
The kind of great love that people spend their whole lives hoping to find.
And somehow, I found you right next door.
” His voice cracked. “But what happens if I’m not enough again? ”
I felt gutted, but after a moment, I found my voice. “You’re enough, Matteo. You’ve always been enough. She just wasn’t the one who could see it.”
***
Hours later, we walked next door so Matteo could get a bottle of wine from his cellar.
We’d spent the entire day talking—sharing fears we’d both been carrying but never spoke aloud.
I told him about more of my past relationships, how I’d secretly wondered if I wasn’t good enough to make partner, and I’d been using Sierra as a scapegoat.
I admitted I wasn’t sure I’d ever fully come to terms with finding out my father was a cheater, but I was determined to not let that define the man who was always there for me growing up.
He told me how he’d pulled away from most of his friends after slipping into a period of depression, too ashamed to let anyone see it.
In the kitchen, I sat on the counter and watched him work the corkscrew into the bottle. The satisfying pop it gave when he pulled it out made me smile.
“You were really going to go to New York today?” I asked.
“I was lucky you came back from the store, or I’d be in the air right now.”
Matteo passed me a glass and came to stand between my legs. “What are we going to do? Where do you want to live?”
“I want to live here, at least most of the time.”
“Are you sure? I’ve learned that keeping someone in one place when they’d rather be in another can just prolong the inevitable.”
“Do you know where I was this morning?”
“You said a store, no?”
I nodded. “I drove up to Florence to order office furniture. The main reason I sold everything in the shop was so I’d have a place to work.
I made those decisions after you broke my heart.
I love it here so much that I was staying despite you, not because of you.
I’m going to work remotely as much as possible, but I’ll have to go back once in a while for trials.
And…I’m considering learning the law here—and the language—to get licensed eventually.
My sister said she’d help me. I spent the night at her house last week. ”
Matteo smiled. “Sometimes the world breaks apart, but in the wreckage you find something beautiful.”
I smiled back. “I guess that holds true for a lot of things. My dad cheating led me to a sister. You finding out the truth about Izzy led you to face your fears. And Nonna dying led me to you.”
He kissed my lips and whispered, “I want to make babies with you someday.”
Butterflies flapped their wings in my belly. “I want that, too.”
Matteo’s eyes dropped to my mouth, and he rubbed his thumb along my bottom lip. “We should practice, so we’re ready.”
I grinned. “I’m an overachiever. We’re going to have to practice a lot.”
Matteo carried me to the bedroom. He stripped us out of our clothes, laid me in the center of the mattress, and climbed on top.
“I love you, Allegra.” He trailed his knuckles down my cheek. “In a way that I never knew possible.”
“I love you, too.”
“Spread wide for me, bellissima. I want to show you how you make me feel.”
Matteo never took his eyes from mine as he pushed inside.
We stayed connected as he started slow, gliding in and out.
His pupils dilated as he stared almost hypnotically into my eyes.
Everything in the world faded away except for the two of us, except for this moment.
And I realized I’d never truly made love before, giving someone everything—mind, body, and soul.
I locked my legs around his waist, rocking with him as he drew me closer. He filled me so deeply that I almost couldn’t stand it. “Matteo…yes…yes.”
His jaw tightened. I could see that he was on the verge of coming undone, and I made it my personal mission to make it happen. I raked my nails down his back and whispered in his ear, “Come inside me, Matteo. Fill me. I need you.”
That did it. His restraint slipped, and his movements grew more urgent. Matteo started to really move, pulling almost all the way out, then slamming back in—over and over until my body was begging to be put out of the misery of waiting for climax.
“Sei tutto per me.” He closed his eyes. “You are…everything.”
Pleasure crashed through me like a violent storm, my body convulsing around him. Matteo grumbled a bunch of curses in Italian before sinking into me as deep as he could go. His body twitched as it came down from his release.
Later, I rested my head on his chest, thinking about how my life had changed. Matteo must’ve sensed I’d gone somewhere else.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
I tilted my head to look up at him. “Just how much has changed in the last few months—quitting the job that had been my world, moving to a new country, finding a sister I didn’t know existed, and falling in love. It’s…scary.”
He rolled us so I was on my side, facing him, nose to nose. “It is, but we’re both here. That’s what’s important. I know now that real love isn’t about being fearless; it’s about choosing to stay when we’re afraid.”
“I like that.” I smiled and dropped a kiss over his heart. “I’m choosing to stay. For me. For us. Forever, Matteo.”