Chapter Thirteen
BEC
“Will you stop shaking your leg?” Alexandra asked me… again.
I did my best to stop it, but I was anxious as hell.
After my fight with Rome earlier this week, he had been cold.
Extremely cold. When we were in public, he turned on his usual persona, and played the perfect role of my boyfriend.
The cameras ate us up, and he even signed an autograph for the sweetest little girl who had been waiting just for him.
According to her mom, she believed Rome was a real prince, which, to the world, he was.
When we were alone, it was a completely different story. Gone were his sarcastic remarks and smirks. He still treated me well. He continued to bring me coffee in the mornings and open my doors. On paper, he was a gentleman, but everything that made him Rome was gone.
I couldn’t believe it, but I missed it… I missed him. For months, I had convinced myself that I had simply been tolerating Rome. That he was taking up too much space, too much of my time. I had believed that my life would be better off without him.
Damn, was I wrong. He was the one who had tolerated me this entire time. I had spent months complaining about him to his own face. I was disgusted with myself and my behavior.
Alexandra sighed and fully turned my way at our restaurant table.
She and I sat side by side at the round table while we waited for the boys to arrive.
I had wanted to cancel the double date Melissa had scheduled.
Things were too off with Rome. I was in no mood to play it up for the cameras, but it was a necessary evil.
If I wanted to continue to sway the board, I needed to play my role in this fiasco that was my life.
“Are you going to be like this all night?” Alexandra asked while twirling a piece of her blonde hair between her fingers.
“Potentially.” Which wasn’t great. While Rome could act his part perfectly, I couldn’t pretend. I felt on edge whenever in the same room as him.
I knew I had messed up. While I was initially angry with him for snapping at me earlier in that conversation, I later saw the truth of the matter.
Rome had PTSD. I should have guessed it.
He despised fireworks; I knew he had nightmares from various remarks he’d made, and he never talked about his time in the service.
He didn’t talk about his work at all. He had spent a couple of years working with my brother every day, and I knew nothing about that time.
Maverick sauntered in through the restaurant doors.
There was a horde of paparazzi outside the front doors and across the street, snapping photos through the restaurant windows.
I had listened to Melissa’s advice and insisted on a table near the window.
That was, at least, my claim for being the first one here.
In truth, I was readying myself to face Rome, trying to find the tiniest bit of control in what felt like a hurricane of emotions. That bit of control gave me some comfort.
Maverick sat across from Alexandra and seemed surprised when he saw me.
“What’s wrong with her?” he asked Alexandra.
She laughed softly, “She and Rome got into a fight.”
“Okay…” he trailed off, “Why is that an issue? I thought you hated him.”
“Am I really that bad?” I asked, exasperated.
Alexandra nodded. Traitor.
Maverick huffed a laugh, “Bec, you have the worst poker face, and the majority of the time, you’re glaring at Rome. I put the pieces together.”
“I don’t hate him,” I protested.
“Then why are you always complaining about him?” Alexandra asked with a raised brow.
It was a valid question, but one I didn’t know the answer to anymore. I shrugged, “He’s just… so…” I trailed off, not sure what I was even trying to say, “He’s so Rome!”
Alexandra studied me for a minute before her eyes grew wide with shock, “Oh my god! You have feelings for him.”
I scoffed, "Absolutely not.”
“No! You totally do!” Alexandra exclaimed as she turned toward Maverick. “Have you ever seen Bec get so worked up about anything the way she does with Rome?”
Maverick contemplated the question for a moment before agreeing, “You make a good point. When the markets dipped and everyone was panicking, Bec was completely calm.” He then turned to me.
“I’ve worked alongside you for years now.
You don’t falter, ever. The world could be burning down and you would be unfazed, but right now, you’re faltering. ”
“I’m not… at least not because of him,” I protested weakly.
I could come up with countless excuses. I did have the weight of the world on my shoulders currently, with threats being mailed to me, my dad and the board breathing down my neck, and my job being dangled in front of me like a carrot. Yet none of it kept me up at night.
Rome did. He invaded my mind… that look on his face when I once again complained about having to be with him. The sound of his voice when he had refused to answer my questions in our last conversation. I couldn’t get either out of my head.
I had spent the last few days missing the version of Rome I was used to, and it wasn’t the facade he put on for the world. It was the Rome who gushed about his sisters. It was the Rome who smiled softly when I spoke. I wanted back my Rome who made me feel safe.
“Shit…” I mumbled, reality finally dawning on me.
I had despised Rome not because of who he was, but because, for the first time in my life, he made me feel.
I looked forward to our morning drives and the coffee he brought me each day.
Not because the coffee was delicious—which it was—but because it was so him.
He always went out of his way for the people he cared for, and I was once one of them.
I had pushed him away and pointed out these perceived flaws, not because he bothered me, but because admitting the truth of my feelings would be giving away control. I had no idea how he would react or respond. I couldn’t handle him rejecting me, so instead, I had all but bullied him.
I placed a hand over my mouth as I thought about all the times I had picked on him. It was always when he made me smile, laugh, or feel anything outside of my frigid control.
“Looks like you were right,” Maverick remarked to Alexandra, who looked proud of herself.
“What the fuck do I do?” I asked in a panic. “I’m his boss. I can’t have feelings for him. Nope. This is illegal. I can’t do this.”
Alexandra laughed, “I see we’re spiraling now. Take a breath, Bec.” She clasped her hand over mine, giving it a comforting squeeze. “How about you start with apologizing to him for your fight, and go from there?”
I sighed but nodded in acceptance, just as Rome walked through the door. With it being a Sunday evening, I hadn’t seen him since he had dropped me off at my penthouse on Friday night. One of his stipulations when agreeing to work with me was having most weekends off to spend time with his family.
I didn’t argue with the schedule when he had started, but over time, I had begun to miss him on the weekends.
Is that why I was so willing to enter this fake relationship with him? It was a way for me to be with him without losing my control over the situation.
Rome waltzed towards our table, his black hair messy but in an intentional way.
It was longer than I was used to, a strand starting to curl over his forehead.
I had rarely seen him out of his suits, but today he was dressed in a pair of jeans and a deep red henley.
The sleeves were pushed up slightly, showing off his forearms. But it was his eyes that drew me in.
They had that light that I had been missing all week.
“Good afternoon, ladies, gentleman.” He nodded towards Maverick and Alexandra. He rounded the table, coming to my side, and dropped a fast and unexpected kiss on my cheek, “Rebecca.” His voice was more subdued when he spoke to me.
“Hi, Rome.” My voice came out in a squeak that even surprised me. Alexandra held back a giggle. Well, she tried to, at least. Thank God Maverick came to my rescue.
In fact, he spent the evening saving me, keeping Rome in near-constant conversation. The two talked about various countries they had both visited and popular restaurants around the city.
Alexandra kept me occupied, sharing her plans for a future business she was working on. However, I was being a bad friend, because I couldn’t help but be distracted by Rome all evening.
He was leaned away from me, his body completely turned from mine, and barely made eye contact when he did briefly look my way. The press wouldn't see it, thankfully. Hell, the couple on the neighboring table wouldn’t… but I did. I could feel the chasm between us and I hated it. I needed to fix it.
Alexandra must have read my mind because as our dessert trays were being taken away, she stood quickly, pulling Maverick up with her, interrupting him mid-sentence.
“Well, I guess we’re going,” he mumbled as he pulled on his jacket.
“It was great to see you both,” Alexandra declared, pushing Maverick away. “But we need to go. Urgent matters to attend to and … stuff. Yeah, okay, bye! Love you!” She blew me a kiss over her shoulder as she elbowed a laughing Maverick out the door of the restaurant.
While I was grateful to finally have Rome alone, I wasn’t sure how to fix the issue between us. I didn’t have a model for proper conflict resolution while growing up, and I definitely did not have time to call Will and ask for his advice.
I guess I was winging it tonight.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, fully turning to face Rome. His eyes grew wide, and I could tell I had caught him by surprise. “I don’t hate you. I don’t even dislike you.”