Chapter 19
“Ithought we might take a promenade this morning,” Harper said, at breakfast. “The weather is good. It would be useful to be seen together in the park.”
Albina set down her teacup. “How lovely.”
“No thank you,” Temperance replied. “I feel rather tired, and would much like to spend the day indoors.”
“It would be useful,” Harper said, “to be seen together. Given the current state of the season.”
“The current state of the season is fine,” Temperance said.
“It would benefit you,” he said.
“You keep telling me what would benefit me,” she said, still looking at her toast, “and yet somehow my situation remains unchanged.”
“Temperance,” Albina said, very quietly.
“I am simply pointing out,” Temperance said, “that being paraded around the park on Harper’s arm has not thus far produced the results he seems to think it will, and I would rather spend the morning doing something useful.”
“Such as?” Harper said.
“Well, reading perhaps.”
“I think you’re just arguing with me for the sake of it,” Harper sighed. “You have a habit of doing that, but I think that this will benefit you.”
“One can say that you have a habit of telling me what exactly might benefit me,” Temperance replied.
She didn’t know why she was feeling so argumentative. She knew, objectively, that it was in her best interest to go.
After all, it was valuable social currency being seen out with the Duke. And she shouldn’t squander the opportunity.
“What is going on with you?” Harper asked. “Has something happened?”
Temperance quickly shook her head.
“Then what is your problem?”
Temperance thought this over in her head. Perhaps her problem was that precisely that she was tired of all the pressure that she had been putting on herself to find a husband.
And going to the park seemed like more pressure was waiting for her.
Of course, she would not say it out loud with her mother present. So instead she decided to just agree.
“What time?” Temperance asked.
“Ten o’clock,” he said. “If that suits.”
Breakfast ended, and Temperance thought that she had finally found a moment to herself when Harper followed her up the stairs.
“Wait a moment,” he said to her, stopping her dead in her tracks. “I am not convinced at the explanation you gave me at breakfast and I suspect something is wrong.”
Looking at him, Temperance might have taken his expression to be that of someone who cares for her.
It took her entirely off guard.
“Did Mother sent you after me?”
Harper rolled his eyes.
“No. Why would she do such a thing? And I asked you a question, which you’ve been avoiding.”
“It’s just that she’s been going on about this too,” she went on, biting down on her lip. “She thinks I am taking too much pressure on myself with this marriage thing, and I am certain that she feels rather guilty about it. So it would make sense.”
“You are taking a bit too much pressure, yes,” he replied.
“So she did say something to you?”
“No,” he stressed. “I came to that conclusion on my own. You don’t have a great way to conceal it, and it shows on your face.”
“Oh lovely,” she shook her head. “That would certainly scare the suitors away. No one wants someone desperate.”
Harper was quiet for a moment. And in his expression, Temperance saw something that almost resembled a hint of anger.
“Why do you have to speak about yourself in that manner?” He chided. “You are not in a desperate position, and I would say that you are in a much better standing than other women that wish for the same thing.”
“I’m not used to you being so nice to me,” Temperance eyed him with suspicion. “So now I’m wholly convinced that Mother must have put you up to this.”
Harper heaved a sigh.
“Just stop speaking about yourself in this manner,” he said. “And I will be expecting to see you at the park.”
There was no avoiding it, and Temperance exited to her room to get ready.
When they arrived at the park, it was a lovely day out.
The morning was the kind that made London feel like a different city from the one it usually was.
There was an ease to it that was difficult to resist regardless of prior intention, and even Harper, walking between them on the main path with his hands behind his back and posture as correct as always, seemed to have absorbed some of it.
They walked three abreast initially, which was slightly too wide for the narrower sections of path and required occasional adjustments, Harper on the outside and Albina in the middle and Temperance on the inside.
Albina filled the silence in her usual fashion, her observations moving from the flowers to a woman in a remarkable hat to a piece of news from Mrs. Peel about the family two streets over that was mildly scandalous.
Then she saw Charity and Alethea ahead on the path, with Duncan and Oliver a few steps behind them.
“My friends,” she said. “Oh, I must go say hello. Do you mind?”
“We will meet you at the fountain in an hour,” he said, nodding.
Temperance rushed over to them.
“How are you?” Alethea asked, her face lighting up as she saw her friend. “How good it is to see you out.”
“Better now that I have met you,” Temperance grinned and then turned to Charity, “Have you been well?”
“You know how it is,” Charity smiled, pointing at her belly. “We are expecting.”
Temperance let out a loud squeal.
“You are not teasing me?”
“I am not, no,” Charity giggled, “we only found out some weeks ago, and I had been waiting to tell you.”
“Oh, my. I am so happy for you,” Temperance nodded. “Just look at you. You are finally going to become a mother.”
“It’s an exciting feeling surely,” Charity nodded.
“Motherhood changes you surely,” Alethea said in agreement. “You know, darling, now we have all reached the motherhood stage. When are you going to join?”
Temperance resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
“I am working on it,” she replied, dryly.
“You must tell us a little more than that. How are the suitors progressing?” Charity asked.
“As you would imagine.”
“Come on now. You cannot leave us without any information,” Alethea reprimanded. “You are the only unmarried one left, and trust that you provide all the interesting stories.”
“One is promising, Elias Talbot. I have mentioned him before.” She paused, choosing her words with care. “He is genuinely kind and listens when I talk.”
“He sounds wonderful,” Charity said, warmly and genuinely.
“He is,” Temperance said.
“So how come you don’t look very excited about this gentleman?” Alethea said, quietly. “If he really is as wonderful as you say.”
“I look perfectly fine,” Temperance said.
They had reached the bench by the old oak, the one that had been in this section of the park longer than anyone currently living could account for, and Charity sat down on it and looked at Temperance with a curious expression.
“Sit down,” she said.
“Will you finally tell us what is actually going on with you?” Charity asked. “I am not convinced about your suitors story, and I think there is more to it than you are letting on.”
“Why do you think that this process has been interesting?” Temperance tried to deflect. “It has been going on as these things usually go, and there is just not much to say to you at this time.”
“So about Elias,” Alethea said, “go on, then. Tell me more about him. Do you think of him as someone you can love?”
“I do think of him as someone I may marry,” Temperance said, to the disapproving gaze of her friends. “What?”
“You know that is not the answer we are looking for.”
“Well, then I am afraid that I might not even have the answer that you want.”
Temperance looked at the path.
“I have feelings,” she said finally, “for someone. That is the beginning and the middle and mostly the end of what I am willing to say about it.”
Temperance’s hand were shaking, she realized with embarrassment. It was the first thing that she had admitted the fact out loud to anyone, or even to herself.
“Why?” Alethea said.
“Because there is no use speaking of it.”
Alethea exchanged a glance with Charity before stepping closer. “There is always use in speaking of it to friends.”
“And what would you have me say?” Temperance gave a humorless laugh. That I have done the most foolish thing imaginable? That while perfectly suitable gentlemen call on me, I spend my time thinking of a man I cannot have?”
Neither of them interrupted and Temperance clasped her hands together in her lap.
“He is not free in the way I need him to be,” she said. “And even if he were, I do not know that he would ever look at me as anything but… a responsibility.”
“Who are you talking about exactly?”
“His exact name does not hold any relevance to this conversation,” Temperance tried to detract, but her gaze fell into the distance where she had seen Harper last.
“You mean Harper Crauford.”
“Must you say his name so loudly?” Temperance had a slight panic to her voice.
“We are in the middle of a park,” Alethea said dryly. “No one is listening but us. You do not need to be so secretive you know.”
“Well, whatever it is, I don’t think that his name matters very much at the moment. So, I would urge you to drop that.”
Her friends did not argue with her further, but Charity leaned forward. “Temperance, does he know?”
“No.”
“And does he care for you?”
Temperance hesitated too long, wondering what to make of his little actions. Even his little speech to her today, how he had told her that she should think better of herself. Was that not a form of care? Certainly, it was.
And certainly it was something that was enough to give her false hope.
“That hesitation tells me enough,” Alethea lifted a brow.
“It tells you nothing,” Temperance said quickly. “He is protective, that is all. He feels responsible for my future. That is very different from affection.”
“Men are rarely protective over women they feel nothing for,” Charity said.
“You do not understand,” Temperance shook her head. “He wishes me married and has spent weeks placing suitors in my path.”
“And yet none of them are good enough,” Alethea pointed out. “You told us yourself that he finds fault in every one.”