23. Knox
Knox
Iget Sawyer back to the guesthouse without being seen, parking away from the property and slipping through the gap in the fence line the same way I did last night. It’s not until the door is locked safely behind us that I let some of the tension drain from my shoulders.
Last night feels like a different lifetime by now.
Dinner with Ella, forcing down overcooked steak while she asked the same questions as always and I fed her the same tired lines.
Buried with work, wedding planning is her thing, the stress is a lot.
I told her about the memorial for Owen, said I needed the whole weekend, that it’ll be difficult for me to get through and I’ll need some alone time.
She squeezed my hand across the table, told me to take whatever time I needed, looking equally as affected by the mention of Owen.
I hated myself even more for bringing him up and causing her more pain.
I’m so tired of the lies. The performance. Every kind word out of Ella’s mouth adds another weight on my chest. I have no damn idea how to fix it all, how to rid myself of the guilt without hurting her in the process.
Sawyer sits on the edge of the bed, taking her shoes off.
She’s been quiet since we left, and even now she looks like she’s still analyzing every word David said.
She puts her hair up, and scrolls her phone, so I take a few minutes to get comfortable too, grabbing a T-shirt from the duffle bag I brought in last night and swapping my contacts for my glasses.
“You should rest,” I tell her. “It’s been a hell of a day.”
She clicks out of whatever she was doing on her phone and drops on the bed, already looking more at ease.
“So should you.” Her gaze darts to my torso and I realize I’ve been unintentionally palming my bruised ribs. She pats the bed next to her. “Come here.”
I sit and she immediately reaches for my face, brushing her fingers over the frame of my glasses like she can’t help herself.
“You really do love these.”
Her eyes meet mine. “I do. You know why.”
I catch her hand and press a kiss to her palm. “Tell me again.”
“You look like you in them. Old you. The one I used to like.” Her lips tilt up at that.
“Used to? I’m hurt, Thorne.”
“Keep wearing them and we’ll see,” she says.
“That a challenge?” I lean back on my palms, watching her.
“An incentive.” Her thumb drags along the frame one more time before she pulls her hand back, some of the playfulness fading as whatever’s been sitting on her chest all day resurfaces. She wraps her arms around her knees. “Where does Ella think you are right now?”
It’s like being doused with a bucket of ice water.
“A memorial for Owen. I told her I needed the whole weekend off to process.”
“And she didn’t want to go with you?”
I shrug. “I didn’t really give her the option and she didn’t ask.”
She hugs her knees tight. “So she thinks you’re at some event alone, crying about your brother. But you’re here with me.”
“Yeah.”
It’s condensed but it’s the truth.
“That’s so fucked up, Knox.” She rubs her temple, and I can see the guilt weighing on her the same as on me.
“I know none of this is really our fault. I know Ella’s caught up in something she doesn’t understand.
But every time I let myself feel good around you, feel safe, I think about her sitting somewhere thinking you’re happily engaged, and it makes me sick.
Even with her and Owen. Even with it all.
I know I wanted to feel worse before. To punish myself. But now…I don’t know.”
“I get it.” I reach for her hand. “I know it’s fucked up.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes while I rub circles along her knuckles. When she speaks, she looks steadier, more determined. What am I in for?
“I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t touch her again.”
“I—”
She stops me with a hand on my chest. “I know you have to keep playing the part. I know you probably have to hold her hand at dinner, kiss her cheek for whatever bullshit you have to keep up. I can live with that, as much as it kills me. But nothing more than that. I can’t do it Knox. I—”
“Sawyer.” I catch her jaw and tilt her face to mine. “I won’t touch her. I have no desire to touch her. She’s never been the one I want.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise you.” I mean it with everything I have in me. “You’re the only person alive that I want anywhere near me. I’m fucking infatuated with you, in case you didn’t already realize.”
Her expression shifts, the worry on her brow easing. “Infatuated,” she repeats the word slowly. “That’s a strong word for a guy who used to pretend not to notice me.”
“I noticed everything.” I pull her hand up and press a kiss to her knuckles. “Just didn’t know what to do with any of it back then.”
“And now you do?”
“I know exactly what I want to do.”
I catch her jaw and pull her close, kissing her slowly, savoring the small moan of surprise she lets out. I want her to feel how much I want her, how much she means to me. How I’d do anything for her. Any fucking thing at all.
Her hand bunches in my shirt and she moans again, giving me the opening to slide my tongue between her lips, stroking it with my own. My goddamn cock is going to explode already. I’m wound so tight, just the thought of fucking Sawyer has me dripping.
She pulls back to catch her breath, staring at me with darkened eyes and parted swollen lips. She’s never looked more beautiful.
“Is that all you wanted to do?” she asks, voice husky.
“Not even fucking close.” I grab her under the knees, ignoring the pain from my ribs, and pull her down the bed. She lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a gasp as I yank her jeans off in one go. “First, I’m going to lick this cunt until I get my fill.”
“Knox!” She tries to snap her legs closed, but it’s pointless. I’m done waiting. I know what she wants, what we both want. Desperately.
Her underwear are off before I can formulate a response. And I shove her knees apart, gripping her gorgeous thick thighs so she can’t object again. She doesn’t even try this time.
Holy fuck, she’s soaked for me already. So perfect. I eat her pussy like the starved man I am, licking through her folds and sucking her clit. Her back arches and she lifts up to grind on me, taking exactly what she needs. It’s so hot that my cock is literally throbbing, hard and heavy.
“Oh, God, Knox. Right there. Don’t stop.”
Never.
I thrust a finger inside, then two, pumping in rhythm with her movements. Her cunt squeezing my fingers as she gets closer and closer. Her legs lock and her moans grow louder as her orgasm peaks, clit pulsing on my tongue.
“That was…” She’s still catching her breath, one hand fisted in my hair, the other gripping the pillow. “God, Knox.”
“You think I’m done?” I press one more kiss to her inner thigh, feeling her shiver, before I climb up her body, taking my time, savoring every inch of her along the way.
“I know you’re not.” She’s breathless as she pulls me down by my shirt until our mouths meet. She can taste herself on me and it seems to turn her on even more, the kiss growing hungrier and her hips rolling up against my erection. She smiles against my mouth. “But am I done?”
“The fuck you are,” I say with a groan as she palms my cock through my sweats. “No more just the tip bullshit either, Sawyer. I’m sinking into you until you feel me in your guts.”
She wraps her hand around me, stroking. “You think so?”
“I fucking know so.”
With that, I push up on my knees and pull my shirt over my head.
My glasses knock sideways, but I fix them, leaving them on for her.
I see the way her eyes grow wider, her lips parting and chest heaving.
She wants me too. All of me. Then they travel down to my bruises, but I stop her before she can give some bullshit excuse why we shouldn’t do this.
You’re hurt. It’s not a good idea. Fuck that.
No excuses. I can’t feel the pain right now anyway, not when I’m so gone for her.
“Don’t—I’m fine.” I tilt her face to meet mine. “Eyes up here.”
“But—”
“Do I need to fill that mouth with my cock to show you that I’m okay?”
Something wicked flashes in her eyes, cutting through the worry. “Is that a promise or a threat, Aldrich?”
I drag my thumb along her bottom lip, then push it into her mouth. Her tongue swirls around it, and the moan she lets out goes straight to my cock. “Both. Now pull it out, brat.”
She reaches for my waistband, pulling my sweats and boxers down in one go, freeing my cock. Her eyes go wide, and I don’t blame her. I’m rock fucking hard and dripping at the tip.
I groan as her hand wraps around me, gliding up and down in one slow stroke. “How bad do you want it, Thorne?”
She hums, a small sound of agreement, but that’s not good enough.
“Tell me. Say it out loud.”
Her legs open wider, making space for me. I shove off my pants the rest of the way and grab my cock, lining myself up right against her sopping wet hole.
“Say what?” Her voice is breathy but teasing. She’s driving me crazy.
“You know what, you little cocktease. Say you want me to fuck you. Fill you up. Say you’re mine, Thorne.”
Her hips raise, but I pull back an inch. I’m waiting for her to say it. I need her to. When her lips stay stubbornly closed, I smirk and start to pull back further, but she grabs a palm full of my ass, yanking me closer.
“You’re a cocky bastard, you know that?”
I raise a brow and notch myself at her entrance. “Say it.”
Her eyes close and I push in so slow that it kills me, watching her face the entire time.
“Fuck,” she breathes, biting on her bottom lip. “Fine.”
I thrust in another inch, my whole body shaking with restraint. “Come on, baby.”
“I want—” I give her another inch, waiting. It’s torture to not seat myself in her tight cunt.
She breathes ragged, digging her nails into my ass until I’m sure she’s drawn blood. “Oh, God.”
I pull all the way out, but she groans in protest, scrambling her hands up my back, keeping me close. “Fucking say it, Sawyer. I need to hear it.”
Staring into my eyes, she grips my cock, and with a smile, says, “Knox fucking Aldrich, I want your cock right goddamn now. Fuck me. Fill me with your cum. If you don’t, I might actually kill you.”
I smile, having gotten almost everything I want. “And?”
Her grip tightens, and she swipes a bead of precum away. “And…I’m yours. All yours.”
“That’s fucking right.”
I thrust home in one long stroke, both of us groaning as she stretches around me. She arches off the mattress, nails clawing fresh marks down my back.
“Fuck, Knox—”
“Jesus, baby.” I still for a beat and drop my forehead to hers, giving us both a second to adjust to how deep I am. Emotion clogs my throat. It’s unreal. I thought I’d never be here again. “I’m right where I belong.”
Then I suck in a breath and move.
I don’t hold back a damn thing. My ribs scream in protest with every thrust and I don’t care. I wouldn’t care if they shattered completely, not with the way she’s looking at me right now, eyes lidded, mouth parted in pleasure.
I lean in to capture her lips, sucking them into my mouth. My glasses get knocked crooked, but fuck it. I don’t need them.
“Harder.” She gasps against my mouth, hips rolling up to meet every drive of mine. “Please, Knox, I need—”
“I know what you need.” I hitch one of her knees higher, changing the angle, and she moans louder. “So fucking perfect.”
The headboard bangs against the wall, and our moans and curses join together until we’re both practically chanting each other’s names. She feels so damn good, her cunt swallowing my cock with every thrust.
I feel her tightening around me, so close, and I reach between us, my thumb finding her clit, matching the rhythm of my hips.
“You gonna give me another one?”
“I can’t—” I pull all the way out and slam in again. “Oh, God—fuck.”
Her back arches, her whole body drawing tight. “I’m close too, baby. Come for me.”
She shatters under me with my name on her lips and her cunt clenching so hard around me, I almost bust right then.
But I hold it together, fucking her through it, drawing every last shudder out of her, until I can’t hold on any longer.
I pump deep, coming so hard that stars burst behind my eyes.
I stay buried in her until I’m sure she’s full of every last drop of my cum.
Then and only then do I pull out and collapse onto the mattress beside her. She reaches up and straightens my glasses for me, a lazy, satisfied smile tugging at her mouth.
“Are you okay?” she asks, ghosting a finger up my ribcage.
I take her hand and kiss her palm. “Never been better.”
She curls into my side and we quietly lay there, enjoying each other. It still feels unreal that she’s here, against me, letting me hold her, letting me in. I don’t deserve her. I’ve known that forever and it’ll always be true. This, though, feels right.
“Knox,” she finally says, pushing upright so we’re eye to eye. “I meant what I said about Ella. I refuse to let you hurt me again.”
Her words hit me square in the chest. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Even while we figure out what we’re doing with my dad’s information and what you found. No disappearing on me, or choosing them over me. None of it, Knox. I can’t survive that a second time.”
“You won’t have to.” I take hold of her hand and press it against my chest, right over my heart. “I’m not going anywhere. Not from you.”
She studies me for a long moment. I don’t blame her for being cautious, I only hope she believes me this time.
Finally, her expression softens and her shoulders ease on an exhale.
“Okay,” she whispers.
She curls back into my side, and I hold her, letting myself believe that we’ll get through this. That after everything, we can finally start fresh soon.
My eyes start to drift closed, but then Sawyer’s phone buzzes. She stretches for it, squinting at the screen. “It’s my mom.”
She lets it ring until voicemail picks up.
“Maybe you should call her back?” I offer as it chimes with a new voicemail notification.
“Let’s see what she wants first.” She hits play, holding the phone between us.
“Sawyer, honey, where are you? I’m standing outside your apartment right now…
there was a man here saying he had a delivery for you, and when you didn’t answer, I just took it inside myself.
It’s this big envelope, no return address on it, nothing.
Your place is a mess, clothes everywhere. ” She tuts, her footsteps audible.
“I don’t like this, Sawyer. First, Richard calls me out of nowhere yesterday. Something’s going on and I need you to call me back. Please. As soon as you get this.”
The voicemail cuts off and Sawyer scrambles to a sitting position. “What the fuck? Who is that man and what did he give my mom?”
“I don’t know.” My mind whirls thinking of every possibility. I sit up quickly, despite my ribs protesting. Sawyer’s already off the bed, reaching for clothes.
“I need to call her back right now.”