Chapter 19 #2
I can’t say anything. I physically don’t think I’m capable of forming a sentence right now without my voice cracking.
My silence is a dam holding back floodwaters.
All this time, I’ve been terrified to lean into my feelings.
I don’t know how I can trust anything I feel, especially when what I feel for Asmo is like my wildfire—burning and uncontrollable.
The idea of giving myself to him feels reckless, selfish, and idiotic. But it also feels right.
Every word he speaks is the truth. Every single word. And every choice he’s made has been for me. He’s done nothing to indicate he was ever a part of Marik’s plan.
“If you don’t want me, I get it. I’ve been an insufferable asshole to you at every turn.
When I said I wasn’t good for you, I meant it.
There are plenty of other perfectly charming males out there who will treat you the way you deserve, but I think you feel this, too, Mae.
I think there’s more to us than a normal relationship.
I think…” He trails off as I turn to face him.
I don’t bother wiping the tears from my face.
His face is inches from mine. His perfect, angelic, beautiful face.
I’ve thought of it so many times, I’ve yearned for him, I’ve dreamed of him, I’ve pictured him as I’ve kissed the other High Princes.
He’s right. There’s something between us that’s not normal.
It feels…otherworldly, like what’s between us was crafted from magic itself.
His hand leaves my waist to brush the tears from my cheeks. “I made you cry again.”
“What’s new?” I ask, lifting one corner of my mouth.
His gaze darts to my mouth, then back to my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispers as he brushes away another tear.
I’ve spent so much time trying to keep myself away, and it feels like I’m hitting my breaking point. It feels like I’ve been underwater for too long, like my lungs are about to burst if I don’t open my mouth and breathe.
So, I do. I breathe.
I close the distance between us, crashing my lips against his. This time, there are no butterflies that take flight in my stomach. This feels like dragons soaring through my blood, breathing hot flames into every vein, setting every part of me on fire.
His hand grips the back of my head, fingers wrapping in my hair. I scoot closer to him and press every inch of my body against every inch of his. His mouth over mine stifles the groan when I feel him against me. When I feel how ready he is for me.
And I’m done. I’m done holding myself back, forcing my feelings into a box and shoving them away. I’m done minimizing what I feel for Asmo, done ignoring the way my heart somehow calms and pulses at the same time when he walks into a room, the way my body sings when he’s near.
I reach for the fastening of his pants, but he grips my wrist, pinning it over my head as he rolls on top of me.
His mouth shifts from mine and moves to my ear, his tongue licking and biting down the slope of my neck.
My back arches at the feeling. He slides one hand underneath me, bringing me flush against his chest, like he can’t stand to be apart from me.
He lifts my shirt, and the cool kiss of the winter air bites at my skin. But Asmo’s warm hands set every inch of me on fire. His hand cups my breast, thumb flicking over my hardened nipple.
“Mae,” he whispers, and it sounds like a prayer.
I reach for his pants, desperate to feel him inside of me.
Desperate to know what he feels like, what it’s like to be one with him.
He doesn’t stop me this time. He lifts his hips and helps me pull his pants down.
I lift my hips in a silent request for him to remove mine, our tongues still colliding.
He throws my pants into the corner of the room.
He breaks away from me and gets on his knees to stare at my center, giving me a full, unobstructed view of him.
He is perfection. His abs ripple down to hips that form a V pointing directly to his…
My mouth dries, while another part of me floods.
His smile at my glistening sex threatens to make me climax.
It’s not the animalistic desire in his eyes as he stares at me, it’s the vulnerability of sharing this with him.
Of baring everything to him. I lift my hips, yearning to feel him against me.
My center brushes against him, and he goes still at the contact.
I can’t take it anymore. I pull him onto the bed and climb on top of him, spreading my legs over his impressive length. He stares up at me with a wicked grin, chest already heaving.
“Mae,” he growls.
When we cross this bridge, is there any going back? Is there any possible way I could never hear my name on his lips again?
I lean down, pressing my chest against his.
His hands find my hips and guide them, lining my entrance just over his erection.
Slowly, so, so slowly, I lower myself onto his perfect length.
Pleasure rolls through me as he fills me.
My instincts take over, hips rocking as all my thoughts explode at once.
All I can feel is him, every thought and sensation hyper-focused on that and that alone. Asmo beneath me, inside of me. This male who’s pushed me away and pulled me back, who’s sacrificed everything for me, who’s held me in my darkest moments.
He groans, eyes closed as I rock against him. He fills every inch of me, our bodies moving in perfect rhythm as one. It feels like we’re two pieces of a puzzle, like the Mother designed us to fit perfectly together.
His hands grip my backside, and my orgasm rips through me like a wave of wildfire.
Exactly what I thought it would feel like to give myself to him—burning and uncontrollable.
But my wildfire is a part of me, and so is Asmo, in a way.
He will always be a part of me, and a part of what made me the person I am today.
So, I give myself up to him, to the uncontrollable, to the burning, and I let it take me.
I smother my moans into his shoulder, biting down as the flames crest. He wraps his arms around my waist, and stifles his own moans into the hollow of my neck. His entire body goes rigid as he explodes into me.
Our breathing fades from a panting frenzy to a calmer rhythm. Sweat slicks between us, but neither of us moves. He holds me with a possessive claim, fingertips digging into my curves. I cling to him, thinking of all the mistakes I’ve ever made, and wondering if this is the biggest one yet.
We lay like that, two hearts beating against each other as one, until sleep takes us both.