Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
ELLE
Icouldn’t fucking do this.
Couldn’t fucking look at Patrick’s face.
Not with that damn look of confusion and worry.
Fuck him and fuck this stupid fucking situation.
“Don’t follow me!” The slam of the door does nothing to calm my frayed nerves.
I needed to get away.
My eyes burn and it feels like my throat’s closing, I couldn’t catch my fucking breath.
I couldn’t do this.
I couldn’t be around him any more than I already had. He was so fucking frustrating. I didn’t understand why he did anything.
Why was he always so nice to me?
God, it felt like my blood was boiling in my veins. My chest hurt, fuck, was I having a heart attack? Could anger cause a heart attack?
I stop my escape and try to take a deep breath.
Did that help? Of fucking course not. A sob tore through my chest and knocked me to my knees.
What was wrong with me? Hot angry tears streamed down my face as I kept trying to breathe.
An undetermined amount of time later, my heart finally slows down and I’m able to fill my lungs with air. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this angry. I felt betrayed by my sister and Jude, how could they not even try to offer an alternative solution? There had to be somewhere he could go….
I knew that wasn’t true. Lola had to do so much to get me to agree in the first place because we had no space for someone new.
We needed more space and I knew Lola was working on it but things took time, I knew that but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
I’d opened myself up to something I was supremely uncomfortable with for the bettering of the Farm, to hopefully make things easier for my family.
Lola had been so excited to start offering tours of our family’s pride and joy.
I didn’t want my overall roughness to stop one of her dreams but I can’t be around Patrick indefinitely.
I can’t handle the way he makes me feel. It had been two fucking weeks and I felt like my world had been tipped upside down. He stirred feelings that I never believed I could feel.
Ideas and hopes I never let myself dream about were suddenly burrowing themselves in my head, thinking that I could actually have something more than paperwork.
No.
I couldn’t do this. He could have my office, I would pack up my shit and work from home until they were able to finish his building.
I could do that.
Fuck if I ever went back to that office. The thought of him had tainted that space and I couldn’t be alone there again.
Yes, that’s what I would do, move to a home office. It would be fine.
I wiped the back of my hand against my cheeks to clear the tear stains. I would start packing everything up now. That way it would be done when I got back from the trip to Salt Lake. I looked up at the sky, it had turned dark and the wind was starting to pick up.
How fitting, the weather reflected my feelings perfectly.
I stood and took one last deep breath. I don’t know how long I had been out here spiraling but I had a plan now and would get it done. I would ignore the angry clench in my stomach that came at the thought of not sharing an office with my Intruder. This was the best.
I would get my own space and I could stop these feelings before they got out of control.
The wind had picked up significantly during my walk back to what would soon be my old office building. My hair whipped into my face and I made the decision to wait to move my stuff until after my trip with my sisters.
I would collect my bag and head home. This was better, this way I could plan out the space I would use for my new office.
BOOM
A crack of lighting lit up the area around me and I let out a squeak of surprise, picking up my speed.
The office was in sight and with a quickening pace, I was at the front door.
Opening the door was a struggle, the wind fighting against the wood.
“Come the fuck on.” I grit out as I’m finally able to open the door wide enough to slip in.
I leaned my forehead against the door, taking a moment to catch my breath.
My cheeks stung from my hair and other debris hitting them and my eyes were dry, the wind sucking up all the moisture.
I didn’t want to turn around. Confronting more changes felt like too much right now. My breath was coming out in harsh pants and I couldn't tell if it was because of that damn windstorm or because of the thoughts of my Intruder no longer being with me.
“Elle.” Patrick’s voice startled me but I couldn’t raise my head to look at him.
Fucking why was he still here? “Elle, can we talk please?” Patrick rasped. Why did he sound like that? “I don’t want to talk to you.” I was being slightly childish but I didn’t care. I didn’t want these feelings and they were all his fault.
“Please.”
That please broke me. All the fury I thought I had tamed came roaring back, making me see red. “What do you want?!” I turned so quickly Patrick jumped back. He was always doing that, jumping when startled.
God! Why did he have to be so fucking cute? I hated him and his stupid green eyes. “What else is there to discuss? Hmmmm? What more do you want to take from me?” My voice was hoarse, I was practically screaming. “I don’t want to be around you anymore!” I was lying but I couldn’t say anything else.
This was what was expected of me. I was the difficult Warren, I needed things the way I liked them and this amazing sunshiney world traveler could never be anything more than an annoyance to someone like me.
I saw something flash behind Patrick’s eyes and I hoped that I finally broke his resolve to do anything more than hate me.
I needed him to hate me. “I don’t want to take anything from you.
I never want to feel like you have to give something up, not something as important as your space.
” His voice was strained, like he was hurting at the thought of making me uncomfortable.
It knocked the breath out of me.
“Why?”
The question escaped before I could stop it.
“I’ve been nothing but prickly and unwelcoming to you.
Why do you care? Take the space, everyone else wants you here.
Everyone’s excited to have you part of the team.
” Patrick’s brow furrowed at my question and he gripped the roots of his hair.
Was I so horrible, he wanted to pull his hair out?
Of course I was. I dropped my eyes to the floor, I couldn’t do this.
I couldn’t face how upset I was making him.
“I don’t care about how anyone else feels if you feel uncomfortable, Elle.
God, you are the only one I care about.” He was lying.
He had to be lying. He couldn’t care about me.
“Elle, please look at me sweetheart.” I shook my head.
I couldn’t look at him after what he said.
Looking at him would only prove his words were just that, words.
Or, I would see the sincerity taking over his features and that would break me.
Seeing that he meant even a sliver of what he was saying would hurt so much worse because it would never last. I was too harsh, too hard to be around.
Warm hands rested on my cheeks and lifted my face up, forcing my gaze to follow. Our eyes connected and my heart skipped a beat. Those eyes, my Intruder had the most captivating eyes, dark green like a forest. “Elle, nothing matters if you’re unhappy.”
Fuck, I believed him.
Something snapped in my chest and I grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me. Before either of us could take another breath, I was crashing my lips against his.