Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
ELLE
THREE WEEKS AGO
Loop: How are you doing? Any updates on that new building?
Loop: I feel responsible because I didn’t find the papers as quickly as I could have.
Loop: Can I take you out to dinner as an apology?
TWO WEEKS AGO
Loop: Do you think I could stop by your office this week?
Loop: I can’t stop thinking about how this may have upset you.
LAST WEEK
Loop: You must be busy. I get it. I want to talk to you about something. Can I come over Ellie belly?
TODAY
Loop: Elle, I can’t get you out of my head. I want to take you out. I miss you.
A mix of confusion and anger swirls in my stomach.
He misses me? Is he fucking kidding? It’s been years since there has been even a hint of anything more than a business relationship between the two of us.
Any romantic feelings for Loop had died before we broke-up, it was the reason I decided I didn’t want to be with him anymore.
I’ve never thought of him in that way again and had made myself clear when he started working for my family that there would be nothing between us besides the working relationship required of us.
You’d think the total lack of response would speak volumes but apparently he’s not getting the hint and I have no fucking clue what to do.
I want to ask my siblings for advice but there are so many complications because he’s an employee. It could open us up to some legal problems.
Shit.
Was I being reckless with Patrick, too? He was an employee, the newest employee to our company. He hadn't even been working for the Farm for a month before I forced myself on him when we were stuck in our building overnight.
Did he feel like he had to spend time with me because of my last name? He’d always seem enthusiastic but wasn’t it because I was always initiating intimacy between us?
Fuck, shit, goddamnit.
I grab my phone and send off two messages, one to Patrick.
Me: Hey, I’m going to have to cancel tonight. I think I’m getting sick and don’t want you to catch anything.
Patrick: Oh no! I can bring you some medicine or soup?
Me: No. No, I’ll be okay. I just want to rest.
The second to my family group chat.
Me: I think I caught a bug. I’m going home for the day and will probably be out tomorrow too. Nothing pressing on my end so this won’t cause any delays.
Mama: My poor baby. Do you want to come to the Big House and let me take care of you?
Paul: That sucks, Grandma. Let me know if you need help with anything.
Mabel: I can come over once I finish getting this week’s market inventory ready.
Me: No need for anyone to make any changes in their schedules. I just want to rest.
Lola: If that changes, let us know.
Mama: I’ll check in with you later. Don’t forget medicine before you lay down. Love you kids.
Paul: Love you Mama.
Mabel:
Lola: Love you.
Me: Love you all.
I can only hope that my family, and Patrick, actually leave me alone. So much has been changing with all of my relationships and thinking about it is making my head spin. I waste no time gathering my things.
As I’m power walking to my car, Honey Cat dashes in front of me. I’m thankful she stopped me from stepping in that fucking gopher hole that hasn’t been filled yet but I didn’t have the bandwidth to reach out to ask it to be addressed, again.
“Not now, baby girl. Go find the Intruder. He’ll take care of you.” I don’t think getting snuggles from my cat would help the storm brewing in my head. I know I won’t be able to forget about all the times I’ve seen her trailing after Patrick as he travels around the farm.
Or the adorable times he would come into the office with Honey Cat resting on his shoulders.
Or how he had bought a cat tree to mark Honey Cat’s official place.
Fuck, my Intruder had even stolen the comfort of my pet.
This was not okay. How had I let someone integrate themselves into my life so thoroughly?
This was why I didn’t want to loan out office space in the first fucking place!
I can’t do this.
Once I’m home, I push my skirt off my hips, letting it pool on the floor in my entryway. I’m once again thankful for the shorts I wear constantly under my skirts. I unhook my bra and fling it over my shoulder, I’ll pick it up at some point.
I turn off the sound on my phone, place it on my bedside table and crawl into bed. I tuck myself in and try my best to close out my spiraling thoughts. I just need some time away from everyone to get my head on straight.
I don’t think I can continue with how things are going with Patrick.
I can’t put my family or our farm in jeopardy.
He would have so much power over the Farm when things ended and they would end.
He might think he likes my gruff nature now but eventually, he would get tired of me. Or worse, start to resent me.
I don’t think I would survive it.
No. I should stop this before it gets any worse. This could only end badly.
My nose burns and my eyesight gets blurry, so I squeeze them shut, only letting a singular tear fall at the thought of pushing Patrick away.