Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
ELLE
Ihad only intended to take the one day off to wallow in my feelings but Loop had texted me again and it restarted my shame spiral. There was some relief that it was now the weekend but I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to keep my family, and Patrick, away from my house.
Mabel has stopped by at least once a day but I either pretended to be asleep or texted her to tell her I’m curled around the toilet and need to be alone. I can tell she doesn’t believe me. I’m going to have to go back to work on Monday and I’m fucking dreading it.
I can’t let my emotions fuck with my families business anymore than I already have. I think I need to talk to Lola and see how much trouble I could bring to the Farm if Patrick tries to do something when I tell him we can’t be together anymore.
He’s been texting me non-stop and every time my heart breaks a little more. Soon enough, it’s going to be a pile of ash. I didn’t think I had a big enough heart to break, add it to the list of things I’ve been wrong about lately.
I’ve also not responded to Loop. I want nothing to do with him and I’ve been debating reaching out to the company he works for and requesting our account be assigned to someone new. Another thing I need to talk to Lola about. I can just imagine how frustrated she’s going to be with me.
Monday morning comes too soon. I was barely able to drag myself out of bed but I knew I couldn’t hide away anymore. I needed to be the bad ass ball breaking bitch everyone thought I was. The frigid bitch that didn’t like anyone and who no one likes in return. That's who I needed to be.
Of fucking course there are flowers on my desk. Three different flowers resting on the edge of my desk. A dry sob escapes my lips and I tell myself I should just drop them into the trash but I can’t. I add them to the notebooks with pages and pages of flowers. How am I going to do this?
My phone rings and I let out a soft curse when I see it’s my mother calling.
“Hi Mama.”
“Oh, I’m so glad to finally hear from you after five days. Get your butt up to the big house. Now.”
The line clicks as she ends the call. She won’t give me the chance to refuse and I know if I don’t follow her orders, she’ll stomp down to my office and raise even more of a stink than she’s planning.
I’m a coward because I know if I’m at the Big House, it will delay running into Patrick and it will be a little bit longer until I have to sever our ties. I don’t allow myself another moment before abandoning my office.