Chapter 14 Dorothea
Dorothea
Ten Months Before
It was finding the Zippo lighter that was the defining moment, she thought afterwards.
She’d been out walking the dogs with Dennis, and her blood had run cold as she’d bent down to pick it up, nestled in the long grass on the edges of the wood, glinting in the late summer sunshine, knowing before she even whipped her glasses from the pocket of her dungarees that it would have the initials RF inscribed on it.
The silver was tarnished with a slight dent in the corner and her hand trembled as she pocketed it, straightening up and glancing about frantically.
Dennis must have noticed because he came straight over, concern on his face.
‘Dotty, is everything okay?’
Her fingers closed around the lighter.
‘What’s that?’
‘Oh, it’s nothing … it’s … an old lighter … I must have dropped it.’
He knew her too well. He wouldn’t have missed how shaken up she was.
‘Can I see?’
She didn’t want him to see it but it would look odd if she refused, so wordlessly she handed it over to him.
He held it in the palm of his hand. ‘Looks like silver. Expensive.’ He turned it over. ‘Who’s RF?’
‘I don’t know,’ she lied. She’d assumed the Christmas card she’d found a few years ago was a coincidence, but now this. Could it be true? Could he really be back? No, it was impossible. She needed to talk to Annette.
‘Right.’ He handed it back to her with a puzzled expression, presumably not understanding why an old Zippo could warrant such a reaction.
She slipped it into her pocket. ‘The sun’s gone in. Shall we go inside for a glass of wine?’ She needed it for her nerves.
He hesitated and she could almost see the questions forming on his lips. Dennis was one of her most trusted friends, but she couldn’t tell him this.
It was lonely keeping secrets. She’d realized that long ago. She thought how true Sir Walter Scott’s poem was. ‘O what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive!’ And her web was so tangled it was threatening to strangle her.
But here was Dennis, with his flat cap that he wore all year round and his open, trusting face, wanting nothing from her but companionship. A true gentleman. She liked who she was when she was with him.
‘Come on then, Dotty,’ he said, breaking into a smile. ‘Let’s get in and have a cuppa. I think it might be a bit early for wine.’
As she took his arm she tried to push away the thought of the lighter and what it signified, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.
Because she couldn’t ignore the truth any longer.