Chapter THREE #2
They were both laughing when they pulled into the driveway. Daniel's truck was there.
On the drive home, before they saw Daniel's truck, Alex had taken a detour through the old neighborhood where their mother used to buy bubble tea after Saturday errands. The shop had changed owners. The sign was different, but the parking lot was the same.
"Mom used to order the taro one," Alex said.
"She said mine was too sweet."
"Yours was basically melted candy."
"I was nine."
"You were a menace."
Mei looked at him. "Do you remember her being scared of Dad?"
Alex's smile faded.
"Sometimes."
"Why didn't I notice?"
"You were little. And Mom was good at making things feel normal."
He tapped the steering wheel.
"They fought more the last year. Quiet fighting. The kind where you walk into a room and nobody's talking, but you know you just interrupted something."
"Did she say she wanted to leave?"
"Not to me."
"Would you have gone with her?"
Alex answered immediately. "Yeah."
Mei looked out the passenger window.
For three years, she had treated the night Grace died like a single terrible event that came from nowhere. Hearing Alex describe the months before it made the past feel wider. There had been signs she had been too young to read.
"I wish she told us," Mei said.
"Me too."
Alex turned the music back up, but only a little. Neither of them knew yet how much that conversation would matter.
The laughter died.
He was in the kitchen, standing beside the sink. A stack of dirty dishes sat in the basin.
"Mei," he said.
Just her name.
Alex stayed near the doorway.
"What?" Mei asked.
Daniel pointed toward the sink. "What did I tell you this morning?" Mei remembered loading her cereal bowl into the dishwasher.
"About what?"
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Act stupid."
Alex straightened. "She asked a question."
Daniel didn't look at him.
"I told you to wash the dishes when you got home yesterday."
"I did."
"Then what are those?"
Mei looked.
Two plates. A pan. Three cups.
"Those weren't there yesterday."
"So now I'm lying?"
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to."
His voice rose.
Alex stepped farther into the room. "Dad, chill." Daniel turned. "Nobody asked you."
"You're yelling at her over dishes that aren't even hers."
"This is my house."
"Cool. Congratulations."
"Alex," Mei said quickly.
She knew that tone in her brother. He was trying to provoke Daniel because he thought anger worked like a fire: draw it toward yourself and away from somebody smaller. He did not understand that Daniel's anger had memory.
It came back later.
"Go upstairs," Daniel told Mei.
"I'll do the dishes."
"I said go upstairs."
Mei reached for her backpack.
Daniel snatched a ceramic mug from the counter.
"And take your attitude with you."
The mug left his hand before Mei understood he had thrown it. It hit the wall two feet from her head.
Ceramic exploded across the floor.
Everyone froze. A piece skittered beneath the table. Mei's body reacted before her mind did. She dropped her backpack and backed into the refrigerator. Her father looked almost surprised. Then his face hardened again.
"Look what you made me do."
That sentence.
Her mother's voice rushed back through time. Daniel, stop. Mei could not feel her hands. Alex moved between them.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
Daniel shoved his shoulder.
"Get out of my face."
Alex shoved back.
"Don't throw things at her!"
"Both of you stop!" Mei screamed.
Her own voice shocked her.
Daniel looked at her. For one instant, Mei saw the man at the top of the basement stairs.
Not remembered him. Saw him. She grabbed her backpack and ran.
Upstairs, she locked her bedroom door even though Daniel hated locked doors.
Her hands shook so badly she dropped her phone twice.
She called Alex. It rang in the kitchen below. He declined, then texted.
ALEX: I'm fine. stay in your room.
Mei sat on the floor beside her bed. She pressed her forehead to her knees. Her phone lit up again.
TIANA: u home?
Mei typed with trembling thumbs.
MEI: can i come live with my grandma
She stared at the message, then deleted it. Wrong person. She opened Alex's thread.
MEI: I want to stay with Grandma.
A pause.
ALEX: Tonight?
MEI: yes
ALEX: pack a bag
Her heart thudded.
MEI: what if he says no
ALEX: you're not asking him
Mei looked toward the locked door. For three years, fear had taught her to wait for Daniel's mood to change.
To wait for the safe day. To wait until she was older.
To wait until she had proof. To wait until telling the truth didn't feel dangerous.
The broken mug glittered in her memory. Maybe safe was never going to arrive by itself.
She pulled her backpack from the floor and began to pack.
* * *
The moment they were inside, he started pacing.
"I should've hit him."
Grandma turned from locking the deadbolt. "No."
"He threw a mug at her."
"And if you hit him, he would use that to make you the
problem."
"He already makes everybody the problem."
"Then do not help him."
Alex looked twenty years old and fourteen at the same time.
Mei sat on the couch holding the strap of her duffel bag. "You did shove him."
"He shoved me first."
Grandma pointed at both of them. "Nobody in this house is going back to fight Daniel to prove anything."
Alex stopped pacing.
"I lived there," he said. "I left her there."
Mei knew immediately he meant more than tonight.
"Alex -"
"I knew he was getting worse. I just thought..." He pressed both palms over his face. "I thought he was an angry jerk. I didn't think he was dangerous."
Grandma's voice softened. "You were a child too when Grace died."
"I'm not a child now."
"You cannot protect someone from a secret you do not know."