Chapter 14 Clarke
Clarke
“Lover boy is texting you,” I heard Earnest say. I didn’t know where he was. He was doing this creepy omnipresent thing that he does sometimes.
“Don’t care,” I called out in no specific direction.
Leith: Hey, fake girlfriend, what are you doing tonight?
Earnest’s voice boomed from his mysterious location, echoing all around me, having apparently decided to read my text messages. Nosy asshole.
Earnest kept reading.
Leith: Is my fake girlfriend ignoring my real texts?
Leith: I want to bring someone to come look at the roof at Toades.
I guess I did care, then.
I went to the kitchen of Toades. I often hid my phone away in the silverware drawer when I had a lot of work to do, or when I was avoiding someone—like Leith.
Clarke: Sorry. Working.
Leith: So, is today not a good day?
I chewed on the inside of my bottom lip. The roof needed to be done as soon as possible, so yeah, it was a good day to have someone come look at it, but I didn’t feel like it was a good day to have Leith see me.
I needed a break from him and his razzle-dazzle after the indoor market. I didn’t like the way he was able to make me feel so…wobbly.
Plus, I spent a lot of today bringing stuff down from the attic and trying to sort through the boxes; I smelled like old stuff and stale water.
But I needed a new roof.
I let out a long sigh before I texted him again.
Clarke: No, that’s fine. What time are you thinking?
Leith: Is 5:30 ok?
His reply came quickly, like he had been waiting for me to respond. That thought sent a thrill through me. The same sort of rush I felt when he used to lean over and whisper something to me in class. It had been happening every time we were in the same room, lately.
It was deeply irritating.
Clarke: Yeah, that’s fine.
Leith: See you then.
It was almost five, which meant I didn’t have that much time. I made my way to the second-floor powder room—the one we closed to customers.
“Damn,” I muttered to myself when I looked in the mirror.
The messy bun I’d put a lot of effort into this morning had fallen to the back of my head, and my hair was sticking out of it in every direction.
My skin was dull from lack of sleep, and I hadn’t tried to cover any of that up with makeup before I left my house. I was absolutely regretting that now.
I yanked at my bun until it dislodged from my head and took half of my hair with it. Lovely.
There was a brush and a pouch of products I kept here under the sink.
It had been a few days since my last wash, so my hair was flat and greasy.
I decided on redoing the bun since I didn’t have any dry shampoo here.
Then I splashed my face with water. My last-ditch effort at looking at least sort of alive was using a lip stain on both my mouth and the apples of my cheeks.
I straightened the camel-colored sweater I was wearing and brushed the dust off my jeans. When I was satisfied, I ran back down the stairs. I noticed a few wispy, white figures following me. The buzzing, as always, was there.
Not now. Please.
I’d made some cookies a few days ago, so I got them out of the Tupperware and arranged them on a plate that I put on the kitchen table.
My mom treated owning Toades like throwing a dinner party or inviting people over for tea.
She wanted customers to feel at home when they walked in and wanted the store to feel that way too.
That’s why she kept the house’s original layout when she first opened the place.
I learned everything I knew about running this place from her.
I didn’t think Leith would want coffee this late since he had early mornings, so I put the kettle on and grabbed a few herbal tea bags from the pantry before lighting a candle that smelled like cinnamon and cloves.
Everything was an experience, and when people came to Toades—regardless of the reason—I wanted to make it a good one.
There was also the deep-seated need I had for people to like me.
Yeah, there was also that.
I flipped the Open sign to Closed just as Leith’s truck pulled to a stop outside the shop. A small, white Ford Ranger that I didn’t recognize parked right behind him. A man who definitely did not have a fully developed frontal lobe got out of it.
I didn’t quite know what I wanted to do here: leave the door unlocked and let them come in while I acted busy in the kitchen or open the door and welcome them with a bright smile.
Once Leith and the other man started walking up the pathway to the front porch, I decided on the first option and scurried back to the kitchen—where my open laptop was waiting for me.
It was open on a spreadsheet—perfect. I was nailing this whole productivity illusion.
It was the only type of productivity I could muster up lately.
The familiar creak of the door echoed through the shop.
“Clarke?” Leith called.
“In here,” I responded, trying to sound breezy, and stood from my stool just as he walked into the kitchen. He was wearing a faded denim jacket that was lined with shearling and a pair of worn-out jeans. No hat today. His hair looked good, and it made me self-conscious about my own again.
He grinned when he saw me—a genuine, wide grin. It made me want to hide in one of the kitchen cabinets, but instead, I straightened my spine and tried to smile back.
“Hey, honey,” he said as he walked toward me.
Leith placed an arm on my waist and leaned forward to kiss my temple. It caught me off guard how casual it was. If I was someone looking in, I’d believe that he did that all the time. I guess that was the point.
“Oh,” I said. “Hi.” Unfortunately for Leith, I was not nearly as convincing. “Um, good to see you.” Then, much to my own horror, I patted his shoulder.
Time to switch gears.
“Hello,” I said—looking past Leith to the other man, or boy-man, in my kitchen.
But he wasn’t the only one. While I was recovering from Leith’s greeting, it seemed as though every ghost in Toades had also made their way to this room.
Unfortunately, that meant I could feel the buzz of their frequency in my ears—rising higher and getting louder as the ghosts gathered.
I did my best to tune it out, but I couldn’t seem to turn it down to a hum.
It felt like there were more of them than usual—maybe the Sweetwater Peak gossip network had made its way past the veil, and they’d come to see Leith and me for themselves.
“Clarke,” Leith said, “this is Ryne Sodder. He’s one of the hands at the farm, and lucky for us, a roofing expert.”
Considering Ryne looked like he was maybe twenty years old, I found the expert part hard to believe.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, stepping around Leith and reaching my hand out for a shake.
“Y-you too,” Ryne stuttered. He didn’t make eye contact. “If you want to point me to the attic, I can take a look at the interior damage and then I brought a ladder to look outside.”
“Sure thing,” I said. “Attic access is up the stairs, first room on your right. The ladder door is already open for you.” I grabbed the plate of cookies off the table. “Take one of these with you.”
“Um, sure,” he said, taking a cookie, and then headed toward the stairs.
“He’s shy,” Leith said when Ryne was out of earshot. “And I think he’s talked to like three women in his life—one of them being his mom and the other mine. But he can build anything—built a whole stable in less than a week last year.”
“He looks like he’s still in high school,” I said. “Are you breaking labor laws at the farm?”
“He’s twenty-one,” Leith said with a laugh. “And he’s worked for me since he was eighteen. He’s a good kid.”
“And that makes him a roofing expert?”
“His dad owns a roofing business in Sulphurdale, and he already agreed to give us the materials at cost and bring them to Sweetwater Peak, so we don’t have to worry about delivery or anything like that. And I’m paying Ryne for his labor.”
“He’s going to do it on his own?” Toades was a big house with a big roof. That seemed like a pretty massive undertaking for one person. The buzz in my head seemed like it was turning into a roar. Why were there so many of them? Where did they come from?
“No,” Leith said. “I’m going to help, obviously. And I have a couple other farmhands who stayed for the winter and could use a few extra bucks. It’s good for them to learn new skills. Everything comes in handy on a farm…and in life, I guess.”
A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth—even though my head felt like someone was playing drums on it. “You should embroider that on a pillow.”
“Maybe I will,” Leith said. “I have that skill, you know.”
“Do you?”
Leith nodded. “I can do a lot of things with my hands, Clarke.” I didn’t know if he meant for that to sound…suggestive, but instead of acknowledging it, I just swallowed the embarrassment in my throat and tried to move on.
“I didn’t realize that you’d be so…involved in this,” I said. Just then, I felt like someone had taken a needle to the back of my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and stumbled.
“Hey…” Leith’s voice sounded far away. “Are you okay?” Blurry even.
“Y-yeah,” I said. “My head…” I felt something heavy on each of my shoulders. Then, almost like I was falling backward. Instead, I found myself back on the chair I’d just stood from and realized the weights on my shoulders were Leith’s hands.
“Clarke.” His voice was saturated with concern.
I kept my eyes shut and breathed in and out a few times.
Focus, Clarke. Turn it down. Turn them down.
Sometimes, visualization helped. I conjured up a car stereo in my mind and the volume knob moving from loud to quiet.
It helped a little—nowhere near as much as it normally did.
“Hey,” Leith said again. “What can I do?”
“Nothing,” I said, slowly blinking my eyes open. Leith was closer than I thought he would be. “Sorry.” He had pretty eyes. His brow was furrowed, and I fought the urge to reach up and smooth it out with my pointer finger.
“What was that? What just happened?”
“Um…migraine.”
“I didn’t know you got those,” Leith said.
I squeezed my eyes shut, but the pressure from that hit me right in the temples. “I-I need to leave. How long will Ryne be?”
“Where do you need to go? I’ll take you,” Leith said. No. I needed to go to one of the only places in this town where it was quiet. I needed to go now.
“I’m fine,” I said, but when I stood, I felt woozy. Leith’s hands were still on my shoulders. He put a little pressure on them, and I was sitting again.
“I don’t think you are.” Leith shook his head. I needed to get away. Away from them. “My mom gets migraines,” Leith said. “I don’t think you should be driving—or walking alone. Stay here. I’ll tell Ryne we can come back tomorrow, and then we’ll go. Okay?”
“Clarke?” Earnest’s voice cut through the buzz.
It sounded farther away than it should. “Are you okay?” Farther again.
“Get out of here! All of you! You’re doing this to her!
” For a second, I felt like something was touching me—or at least trying to.
I wanted to swat whatever it was away, but I couldn’t. I felt weak.
Then I heard the unmistakable creaking of someone coming down the stairs. Ryne appeared in the kitchen a few seconds later.
“Great timing,” Leith said. I’d slouched over in my chair, so my head was resting on Leith’s chest. I didn’t remember that happening. I could hear his heartbeat. I focused on it. “All good up there?”
“Yeah, I have everything I need.” Ryne tapped his temple. “I’ll finish up outside.”
“Do you need me here for that?” Leith asked, and Ryne gave him a look. Leith went on, “Just checking. Clarke isn’t feeling well. I’m going to take her home, so we’ll follow you out.”
When I stood from my chair, Leith’s arm wrapped tightly around my waist, and even though I’d never tell him so, I was grateful for the additional stability. “I’ve got you, honey,” he said as we walked toward the front door. I didn’t know if he said that for my benefit or Ryne’s.
Another voice came from behind us—Earnest. “I’ll blow out the candle,” he said.