Chapter 22 Clarke
Clarke
“New roof looks great,” my dad said as we stood on the front porch outside of Toades.
The stool that the Sweetwater Peak economy sat on had three legs: Papadakis Trucking, Wilkes Farm, and outdoor tourism. Without all three, the town would collapse. Maybe not right away, but lose only one leg, and then as soon as the now two-legged stool was faced with a little pressure? Ker-plunk.
That was why I was so ready to dive headfirst into the deep end of my and Leith’s little scheme. Sullivan Industries would take a leg and immediately apply as much pressure as they could.
“How’d you manage it?” my dad asked. “Your mom was a little vague on the details.” Probably because I’d been a lot vague on the details.
“Um, I got a good deal from an independent roofer from Sulphurdale. He got the materials at cost.”
“I checked, and no money has come out of the business account.”
“He said we don’t have to pay until after it’s done,” I lied.
“Is it not done?” He cocked his eyebrow at me.
“No,” I lied again. “Still have a few finishing touches. They’re cleaning the rain gutters and reinforcing the shingles.” I didn’t think that last part was a thing, but I think I said it with enough confidence that my dad would let it go.
“Who’s ‘they’?”
“His name’s Ryne, and um…Leith. Ryne works at the farm, and Leith was the one who, um, referred me to him.”
My dad nodded slowly. “Your mom mentioned that you’d been spending a lot of time with Leith.”
I shrugged. Honestly, I was surprised she’d noticed. “Sadie’s been gone for the winter, and Leith and I…you know, we’re friends.” That wasn’t a total lie. I just wasn’t giving my dad all of the information.
“I didn’t know that,” Dex said. “I thought he ran around with the Pittock girl.”
“Dad.” I sighed. “You’re fishing, and you’re only somewhat decent at that in the river.”
Dex laughed at that and then slung his arm around my shoulder. “Sorry, peanut. We trust you, but you can understand your mom’s apprehension when it feels like the new roof came out of nowhere.”
“I was talking to Leith about the flood and everything and he said he knew someone who could help. It’s not a big deal. You can report that back to Mom.”
I felt my dad shift his weight to his other foot.
The strain in the relationship between my mom and me made him uncomfortable.
That made two of us. But I was doing my part.
I was the one who secured the new roof and everything else Leith could help me with, and if she had a problem with that, it was hers and not mine.
“She just worries, Clarke.”
“Well, she doesn’t have to,” I said. “I’m picking up the pieces, and I’m doing a damn good job.”
“No one said you weren’t,” my dad said.
“Not true,” I said. “Mom basically implied a few weeks ago that I wasn’t doing a good enough job and that I needed to just let her do it.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way, peanut.”
“Dad,” I said, holding up my hand. “I know that she is the love of your life, but I need you to believe me when I say that it certainly sounded like she meant it that way.”
My dad clicked his tongue. “I think she still feels guilty that there’s something to be fixed.”
“Well, tell her to get over it,” I said. “I’m sick of this, Dad—really really sick of it.” Sick of tiptoeing around my mom, sick of being mad at her, and sick of feeling like I wasn’t doing enough to fix any of it. I shrugged out from under his arm, and he gave me an amused look.
I just wanted to feel better.
“You two are so similar,” he said with a small, tilted smile.
“Sometimes, I don’t quite know where Collins came from, but there’s no doubt in my mind that you came from your mom.
You’re fierce like her, protective like her, and you both would rather get crushed by your own expectations than not meet them.
“I know you two have been having a hard time. I feel it even when I’m not here, and I see it when I am. I’m sorry for it—I’m sorry we ended up here. But it’ll pass.” My dad was the calm to my mom’s storm, the warmth of her flames, and discernment to her perceptiveness.
Most of the time, he was also right.
“I hope so.” I swallowed. “I’m so sick of being angry about it, Dad.”
“Anger like that is exhausting, peanut,” he said. “It’ll wear itself out soon enough. Until then, I’ll be here to remind both of you how much you love the other, how much you love this place, and how it wouldn’t survive without both of you.”
I stayed quiet. I knew my dad was right. He usually was.
“Looks like your friend’s here,” he said and nodded down the road. Sure enough, Leith’s truck came bumping down it.
“He’s installing a security system,” I mumbled. “One that’ll give us alerts if a window or door gets broken—like during a storm.”
“That’s nice of him. And it’s a good idea,” my dad said. “Did you get that at cost too?” His amused tone made me uneasy—like he knew I was lying about more things than just the cost of the roof.
“Not sure,” I said. “I’ll keep you updated. Anyway, didn’t you say you were going to see what the snow looked like on a few trails today?” My dad was an outdoorsman in its truest form. Nothing could keep him inside for long—not even the harshest of elements.
“You know, I’ve been your father your whole life,” Dex said. “And I know when you’re trying to rush me out of somewhere. So, I’ll just tell you now: It’s not going to work until after I say hello to Leith.”
I fought an eye roll, but we might as well get this out of the way.
Leith parked and got out of his truck. He was carrying a toolbox with him. He looked good. He smiled at me as he walked toward us.
“Hey,” he said once he was close enough. He reached his arm out to touch my waist, but I moved away because I knew my dad would zero in on it. “Mr. Cartwright,” he said, turning to my dad for a handshake. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too, Leith,” my dad said. “Thanks for all the work you’ve been doing here. It’s kind of you.”
“Anything for Clarke.” Leith nodded, and I fought the urge to run away.
“Well, isn’t that something.” I wanted to crawl into a very large, very deep hole in the ground. “I’ll leave you two to it. Remember what we talked about, peanut.”
“Yes, sir,” I said quietly. Then Dex gave me one last hug and started his walk back home.
“Peanut?” Leith asked.
“For both Collins and me, because there’s two of them in a shell.”
“Cute,” Leith said. We were walking toward the porch and its chorus of welcoming wind chimes. “I haven’t seen your dad in forever.”
“He does a lot of long hauls in the winter,” I responded.
“So he’s not home as much. And if he has spare time, he’d rather spend it with my mom or outside than in town.
He’s more of a summer guy, and that’s why he does shorter routes then, so he can come home and gallivant through the forest or whatever.
Occasionally, you can get him out of the house for ice fishing or snowshoeing, but he spends his life waiting for summer. ”
“Makes sense,” Leith said as he opened the front door of the shop for me. “Do you have a second?”
“Sure,” I said. “Do you want some coffee?”
“Is that all you drink at all hours of the day?”
“I don’t sleep much.” I shrugged.
Leith tilted his head. “Are you for real?”
I nodded. “I’m used to it. Coffee?”
“No, I’m good, thanks.” Leith set his toolbox on the table and opened it. There were two plastic-wrapped white boxes inside for the security alarms, and a few smaller boxes that had the censors for the windows. “So…I don’t think we should waste any time on the engagement,” he said.
“Okay…”
“Especially because everything has gone well so far. The whole town is totally into our romance.”
“Are you looking for validation that you’re a great fake boyfriend?” I asked.
“Am I?”
“Nope,” I said. “Worst one I’ve ever had, actually.”
“You wound me,” Leith said as he put both hands over his heart in faux hurt. “Maybe I’ll make a better fake fiancé than fake boyfriend.”
“Excellent segue.” I’d agreed to this quickly the other night, and I didn’t want to take it back; I’m a woman of my word. But a fake engagement felt so different from a fake relationship. I’d have to tell my family I was getting married.
To Leith.
“I guess…I just wanted to acknowledge that this next step feels like a big jump, that I’m grateful you’re up for it, and it’s okay that it feels kind of dodgy.” It was almost as if he had been reading my mind.
“I’m worried about, well…” He sighed. “Lainey…she’s so attached to you, and lying to her about this is going to hurt, I think.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m worried about my family too.” I didn’t know how I was going to tell my parents or Collins, or even Sadie. Maybe I could get away with the latter two never knowing.
Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.
“It’s just temporary,” I said. “This part. But we’ll still be friends afterward, like we said, right? And then everyone will get to see us how we are, not what we’re pretending to be. Maybe they’ll even like our version of us better.”
“Right,” he said, looking at the floor. “So how do you want to do this?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted. Leith stopped fiddling with the security system and motioned for me to come closer to him. He grabbed my hand and led me toward the front room, where we kept our fine jewelry.
My heartbeat kicked up to a concerning rate.
He pulled me over to the bench seat by the front window, and I sat down. “I know the rest of this has been kind of intentionally showy, but for this, I think maybe it can be just us,” he said and started scanning the jewelry case until his eyes landed on something. “May I?”
I thought we were just going to slap a ring pop on my finger or something. But it seemed like Leith had other plans. He was constantly surprising me with his thoughtfulness and his open heart.
I nodded. If a fake proposal left me this speechless, I wondered what would happen if I ever got a real one.
Leith opened the back of a display case. There was a stack of vintage Blue Sky Geographic magazines on it. I needed to remember to send a picture of them to Collins—she’d love them.
He reached toward the middle of the display case and pulled out a ring. Not just any ring: a ring that I’d loved since it found its way to Toades—a rare gem in a box of tarnished costume jewelry.
Three cushion-cut rubies—the biggest in the middle—sat in an intricate, low profile, with a white gold setting designed to look like vines holding the rubies in place. “I saw this one on the Toades website,” Leith said. “And I thought it looked like you.”
“Oh,” I said dumbly.
Leith walked back over to the bench seat and sat next to me.
“I didn’t want this part to be a big public thing,” he said.
“Because even though it’s…fake, the promise it represents isn’t.
I promise to handle you and this situation with as much care as I can.
” Why did it feel hard to swallow? “You’re my friend, Clarke. ”
“D-ditto,” I stammered. Nice.
“So…” Leith grinned at me. “Will you wear this friendship ring? For safekeeping?”
I nodded, and Leith slid the ring onto my left ring finger. I stared down at it for a few seconds. I’d never tried the ring on because I worried I’d get too attached to it. Now I knew that had been a good decision. It fit perfectly; I didn’t know how I’d ever take it off again.
“I, um, like this a lot,” I admitted. He’d said so much. I felt like I owed him something.
“Good.” Leith smiled. His eyes were so kind and comforting. “I thought you could wear it to the prom. There are bound to be at least a couple chaperones there that’ll spread the word on our behalf.”
I thought about that word spreading beneath the lights and streamers of the gym, how much childhood Clarke would have loved for every pair of eyes to be turned toward her and Leith, so many years ago.
I wondered what she would think if she found out it finally happened, but it was all a farce.
“Engaged at the senior prom?” I chuckled.
“I know,” Leith said. “It’s very small town of us. But I’m game if you are.”
Leith grinned at me, and I had a heart hiccup.
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”