31. Chapter 31
thirty-one
Noel
T he following Thursday, Jamie takes the day off, and we spend the entirety of it in my new bedroom. An early snow shower flutters outside, and his breath is soft and even on my chest.
What started as him helping me hang some new artwork on the walls turned into trading orgasms for most of the afternoon. Every project we do—the shelves he helped me build for my plants, the curtains we hung in the loft—ends this way, but I’m happy to indulge it.
I run my fingers through his hair when his weight begins to press into me, and his breathing starts to slow. “You have to get ready for hockey soon.” Now that his ribs are healed, he’s back to playing every week, and I usually go with him.
“I just decided to quit hockey, actually,” he mumbles into the side of my breast. “My job too. Everything but you.”
“Mmm. Two starving artists.”
He lifts his head and grins, eyes brighter than I expected for how close to sleep he just was. “I’ve been eating well lately, haven’t I?”
I gasp playfully. “Fresh. And in my grandmother’s house.”
“It’s your house, baby.”
I smile at the ceiling. My house.
“I’m getting an award,” Jamie says later as we drive out to the ice rink. It’s a full moon, and all of the hard surfaces downtown shimmer with light hitting frost. Like magic.
I turn in my seat to see his quiet little smile. “What award?”
“For my fall ale. Best in Industry.”
“Jamie! That’s amazing.”
He touches the brim of his hat, cheeks coloring. “Thanks.”
“Will there be a ceremony?”
“I think so. A dinner reception.”
I nod, mentally picking out an outfit and planning some sort of private celebration for afterward.
I’m so grateful for this win for him. There’s been a noticeable anxiety coiling in his muscles the closer we get to the end of the year.
Except for the small detail of not being able to get a hold of my mother again to tell her the news about the condo, everything seems to be falling into place for me, but Jamie still has a decision to make before we know what his career future looks like, and the magic hasn’t been cooperating.
I don’t know what to make of its sudden disappearance.
When he pulls into the parking lot at the ice arena, I stop him before he can open the door, climbing over the console to sit in his lap and take his face in my hands. “You’re brilliant and inspired and loyal. You deserve it all.”
He looks at me with open affection, drawing me closer by my hips. “I love you, Noe. Tell me you love me back and I’ll already have it all.”
I pull in a surprised breath, and he swallows.
“I’ve wanted to say that to you for a while.” His hand on my chin trembles so slightly that I’d have missed it if I wasn’t so in tune with his touch. He’s nervous, and wow—for once, I’m not.
I feel like a child tucked safely in my bed, warm and ready to dream. I’ve phrased it a hundred safer ways over the last few weeks. I adore him. I admire him. I miss him. I want him. But no. That’s not even close.
“I love you back,” I say.
Jamie’s eyes have always been his softest feature but right now they’re nearly liquid. Pools of honey staring back at me with overt longing. He pulls me flush against him by the lapels of my winter coat, and kisses me deeply.
After the game, most of Jamie’s hockey team comes back to Fortune, filling in the row of booths by the back window. Em tips her head to the ceiling, looking like she’s praying for patience.
“Do you have a reservation for a party this size, sir?” She glares at Jamie when we break off from the rest of the group and meet her at the bar.
Jamie flashes his dimples. “No, but if you pour everyone a round, I’ll get you in on the pizza I’m ordering.”
“Deal.”
“I’ll order it,” I tell him, pressing my palm to his cheek and catching the edge of that smile with my thumb. It’s easier for me to work out how much to feed all of these men, plus me and Em. And if he’s drinking, he didn’t take his meds. He’s likely to forget he said this, leaving us all starved.
“Use my app.” He hands me his phone and kisses my jaw. “Thank you,” he whispers.
“I’ll be over in a minute.” I linger at the bar while I pull up the menu to his saved pizza place.
Em pours my beer before she gets started on the guys’ order. “Are you going for sainthood hanging with these idiots all night?”
“Fun fact: I was canonized as a child.” I scan the bar. “Where’s Cara tonight?”
“She’s catering a dinner for the mayor.”
“ What ? That’s amazing.”
“Right?” Em’s grin goes soft. I admit Em’s a lot harder to read than Cara or Jamie. Comparatively, she’s a brick wall, which I’ve always found intimidating no matter how kind she is to me, but sometimes… Sometimes she’s clear as day.
“Good for her,” I say.
“She said you’ve got the designs nailed down for the mural.”
I nod. “We have to finalize the color choices and then we can scale it. Decide on placement.” Spanning three buildings with one design was a challenge but it’s been an exciting one.
I’ve even switched places with Jamie a few nights, working until the morning hours, being cajoled to bed.
He’s been my biggest supporter. I want to be that for him too, but what he wants is a vision, and I can’t seem to give him that.
I turn over my shoulder to look at him because I already miss his face, but instead I see Wes, hovering at the end of the bar, hands in the pockets of his dress slacks. He catches me watching and his eyes narrow. My skin prickles. “I don’t think he likes me.”
Em follows my gaze to the table. “Who?”
“Wes. He’s always looking at me like I’m the villain in a mystery and he’s the only one who’s figured me out.”
I’m not his biggest fan either, after our one and only meeting. What he said was cruel. I don’t like how he plucks Jamie’s insecurities in a way that only family can do.
“Don’t tell Jamie that,” Em says. “They don’t need another reason to fight.” She tilts her head. “Or hell, go ahead. Wes has it coming.”
I want to ask her more about this but her eyes flick over my shoulder just before Jamie’s hand snakes around my waist, dipping under my shirt. “What are you doing over here?”
“Talking to Em.” I stretch to kiss the swoony look on his face.
For some men, alcohol is like a switch that turns them aggressive and competitive.
Others turn philosophical to the point of pompousness.
But Jamie is happy, adorable, and affectionate.
It’s very clear to me why he got away with his youthful mischief for so long.
“When are you coming back?” he asks.
“After I pee. Save me a seat.”
He pats his thighs, indicating that’s where I’ll be sitting. Then he leans into my ear. “And later it’s right here.” He makes a crude gesture with his tongue.
“Oh my God.” Giggling, I press my palm to his face and push him away. My cheeks are on fire when I slide off of the stool and send him back to his friends.
I turn the corner, fanning my face, and nearly smack into a powder blue dress shirt. My gaze climbs the buttons until I get to a tan neck and black stubble. Wes.
I have to fight the instinct to turn and run in the other direction. Instead, I straighten my shoulders. “Hi, Wes,” I say.
“Noel.” He looks like he’s as confused on how to play this as I am. I’m hoping that means he knows he was a raging jerk the last time I saw him and he’s feeling bad about it.
Glancing over my shoulder, he asks, “How are things with my brother?”
“Your brother is amazing. You must be proud of him for the award he’s getting.”
“Of course. Jamie is exceptionally good at what he does.”
I set my hands on my hips and tip my chin, pretending to be bold. “Best in the industry, actually.”
“Exactly the kind of thing that makes his brand highly sought after,” he fires back. He watches me for a beat before licking his lips and leaning casually against the wall. “Did you know Jamie and I have a sixty-forty split?”
I did know this but I’m unsure where he’s going with it, so I deflect. “That’s not really my business.”
His grin at that makes my skin pebble. “Except when you’re giving him business advice.”
“I’m not…” I trail off because if Wes knows Jamie is hoping for another vision, then I’ll be caught lying. If he doesn’t, then there’s a reason for it.
“What that split means,” he continues, “is I can spend the last few years getting all his ducks in a row so to speak, and then he can do something foolish, and I’ll be stuck dealing with forty percent of the fallout.”
The nervous feeling of having bit off more than I can chew starts to swirl in my belly but I push it down. I don’t like the implication—that Jamie is someone who needs to be managed. I cross my arms and glance toward the exit. “I’m on his side, Wes.”
He arches a dark brow at me. “You think it’s me against him?”
I shrug, pretending that answer doesn’t shake me a little.
“We’re not on opposite sides here, Noel.
” He seems to get frustrated at this, huffing a breath.
“Look, something you need to understand about Jamie is that he thinks he has something to prove to the world, and when he’s being smart, it’s a good motivator.
But when he’s not being smart, it makes him bullheaded.
You’re not doing him any favors by coddling this part of him. ”
“Coddling?”
“Jamie thinks you’re the reason he has all of this.” He vaguely gestures to the main bar. “That’s why he’s clinging so hard to it. It’s bullshit.”
I flinch at the venom in that last word, and he shakes his head. By the slight curl of his lip, I can tell he senses he’s getting to me.
“You’re his out from the pressure of making a tough call. Don’t you see that? I mean, for Christ’s sake, I have an MBA, Noel. Jamie has a BA in communications that took him five years to get and, oh, a magic girlfriend. He’s in over his head, and he brought me on to explain these things to him.”