Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
With everything around her crumbling, Evie didn’t have the luxury of falling apart.
Her thoughts were divided and split in the middle.
Fifty percent of her was relieved to have Flynn alive and here.
And to have Roman, Shane, and Ky present for a memorial to Jonas.
The ceremony had been arranged within a day of his passing.
The other fifty percent of her thoughts dwelled on how brusque she’d been to Dom when he dropped Flynn off and left.
There was little excuse for her awful behavior, but she was so lost. She wobbled on a ledge between hysteria over losing Jonas and almost losing Flynn, and the necessity to remain stalwart for everyone else around her who seemed to have fallen into despair.
When he brought Flynn to her, Dom had looked drained.
She regretted not making him stay. He belonged here.
Without him, Flynn wouldn’t be alive, and they wouldn’t be free of Willem.
Instead, he must’ve gone to his desolate prison-home where he sat alone and hurting.
Can’t think of that or I’ll fall apart. Stop it.
Roman and Shane sat resolute next to Jonas’s body, staring out at the view of the water far beyond. Neither seemed to feel the cold, but Evie covered them each in a blanket. They’d run out of tears and words hours ago. All that remained were desolate souls searching for a reason.
There were no words that would offer solace. Jonas had been targeted by someone he trusted, even when they all knew none of them should’ve trusted Willem.
Efrem had been drinking and useless all day. He never drank unless he didn’t want to remember something. Perhaps it was the image of Jonas with a huge hole in his chest. Perhaps it was the sight of melted humans.
A lump formed in her stomach that she disregarded. Her baby was dead.
She marched toward Flynn and Ky, who had been smoking some sort of kicked-up weed on the porch overlooking the pyre for hours since they arrived.
With a handwave she moved smoke out of her face.
“We’re going to do the ceremony and the burn in a few minutes.
You have to depart shortly to make it back to England.
Roman says you were recalled by your handler. ”
“They can go fuck themselves in England,” Ky said. “I’m done.” He hunched over, grabbing his wrist, moaning.
“Bad-mouth them and we suffer.” Flynn tugged on two of his new eyebrow rings. The kid seemed to get a new piercing or tattoo every time he killed something. Pretty soon he’d run out of landscape. “I say fuck ’em too.” He inhaled in a hiss and cradled his arm to his body.
“Enough,” she ordered. “Stop forcing it to hurt you as some sort of punishment. You didn’t kill Jonas. It’s not your fault he’s dead.”
“I should’ve known better.” Flynn moaned, his arm with the tattoo tucked into his chest.
“Take a few breaths, both of you,” she said calmly. “Think of something else. Something not negative toward all that.”
“This is too much, Mom,” Flynn’s voice cracked. “Willem almost captured you. Almost killed me. He must’ve had someone harpoon Jonas in the chest. I mean, how else—”
“We’re going to remember him for the best of him. Not that.” I can’t…can’t think of it. That huge hole in in my baby’s chest. The amount of pain he must’ve felt. Keep it together. She rapidly turned away from them to squeeze her eyes shut and to try to force her tear ducts to shut down.
“I don’t want to go back,” Flynn whispered.
She faced them. “How exactly is that going to work? If you don’t show up, then what do those slave bands around your wrists do to you? Hurt you more? Cause you to lose an arm or your life?” She pointed at the blue bands tattooed in their skin that’d been there since they were cursed.
“None of us know if we’ll die from the punishment.” Ky twirled his favorite dagger in his hands as if the act calmed him. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I don’t know what we’ll do without his insight. He’d give us tips on what he’d see before each fight.”
“We are not giving up on finding a way to free you from this curse.” She put her hands on her hips. She hid the terror consuming her that she might not be able to save them. “For now, we take every moment we can have with each other as a gift. We will appreciate it. We will live.”
“You were that close to dying too.” Ky held his fingers an inch apart. He acted brave, but there was fear in his eyes.
“Not true.” She knelt in front of him and pulled him into a hug. “I’m fine. Willem can’t hurt us ever again.” She smoothed his wild dirty-blond hair off his face. “We’re free of that part of our life. Now it’s time to work on getting you free. Until we can, you have to stay alive.”
“Hey, Mom. How did Dom know to find me?” Flynn asked. “Why would he do that for me? We’ve gone to him a few times to get medical help when we’ve had wounds that don’t heal. He’s good at it, even if he’s grumpy as hell. It’s not like we’re friends.”
He’d been helping them on the side? She’d bet he did a hell of a lot more than just heal an injury here and there. He undoubtedly watched over them. Perhaps, he even helped them from time to time.
She gripped her chest where it hurt. He’d cared for not only her, but that which she valued most. Now she was crying.
“Are you okay, Mom?” Flynn asked.
“I’m just…” She wiped at her eyes. Dom wouldn’t understand why she’d been short with him today.
She needed to get to him, maybe dream walk or…
she needed his phone number. Did he even have a home phone?
She was a mess. “I’m just realizing how close you were to dying.
I reached out to Dom when I found out where you were. ”
“I didn’t know you knew him.” Flynn twirled a ring on his right hand.
“He came into that warehouse like a bomb. The door blew off the room they were keeping me in. I didn’t get to see what happened outside, but from what I did see, bodies were smoking everywhere.
Why would he do that for me? I barely know him.
I tried to ask Efrem, but he was already so drunk by the time I got here all he could do was slur something about melting people.
Did you make a deal with Dom or something?
Mages usually want something in return.”
“There are some things I don’t discuss. Dom is…he’s on our side.” If she tried to talk about Dom, she’d fall apart.
“Does Efrem know why Dom would help us?” Flynn was clearly going to run to him to get more details.
“You will leave Efrem alone. He’s in a world of hurt.
You know how much he loves each of you.” She compressed her lips.
“Collect yourselves and meet me down there to help move Jonas to the pyre. Flynn, button up your shirt. You look like a gigolo. Ky, pull your hair up or something. You look like you haven’t taken a shower in a week and slept in a horse stall. ”
Flynn asked, “What happened at the meeting with Willem?”
She held up a hand. “I told Roman. Get the story from him later. We’re going to honor Jonas and release his spirit.”
All her sons had departed. Efrem had finally conked out on a sofa. Apparently, even lycans could drink enough to pass out. Surprising, since most of the time their metabolism processed alcohol too quickly to even get a buzz. But drinking two cases of vodka eventually worked for Efrem.
Alone, Evie sat on her bed. Silence closed in on her like a tomb.
She allowed the grief to consume her. Tears slid down her cheeks.
She didn’t move to wipe them away. Her beautiful, powerful baby was gone.
Nothing was going to bring him back. She reviewed her memories of Jonas when he was little and as he got older.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t save him,” Dom’s voice emanated from the darkness.
She jumped. “Shitfire. How long have you been here?”
He shrugged. “All day. I watched Efrem get drunk, Ky and Flynn get high, and Roman and Shane shut down. Then the pyre.”
“Invisible even from me. I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For what? That everyone around you shut down and forced you to handle it all on your own?”
“I was short with you when you dropped off Flynn. I’m sorry. I should have treated you better than that considering all you’ve done for us.” She blinked at him. “I didn’t know you watched out for the boys. That you helped them from time to time.”
He grunted. “Do you want to come to my place for a bit? Maybe have a drink?” He held out his hand.
She took his hand. “Where is your place?”
“I have several places.”
In a heartbeat, he transported them through the in-between to somewhere it was raining.
“We’re in Spain,” he said. Rain pitter-patted against the roof and windows. The stone cottage was between cozy small and moderate sized, with rooms downstairs and up. Warmth from a wood stove blasted her.
“I’ve never seen this place in a dream walk.” She reached out to touch a carved alabaster statue of a cat.
“Don’t.” He caught her hand. “Most items here are things that no one should touch. They’re magical items I’ve collected to keep them safe from people who want to use them.”
“Your life is restricted, and you live in a house where you can’t touch anything.” She touched the base of her neck and twirled around.
“Tea?” he asked.
“I thought you didn’t drink tea.”
“I don’t do caffeine. This one’s herbal from Thailand. It has medicinal healing properties. Or so the man who sold it to me said.” He poured water into two teacups. “I think I feel better after I drink it. Could be bullshit.”
She didn’t want tea. With a turn away from him, she gazed at an intricate painting of a water scene where it seemed as if the boats moved on the water. She wanted him to make her feel beautiful. She needed to feel alive and desired.
He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her ass into his erection. He moved her hair and buried his face in the back of her neck, kissing over the sensitive skin. “I can do that, but we shouldn’t.”
“Why can’t we?”
“There’s a reason the Conclave put restrictions on me, a reason I live alone.”