Chapter Thirty-Four
Fallyn
Shadows closed in as my consciousness did, the agony of my death spilling into reality.
For the second time tonight, I a hard time wrangling my galloping heart back into submission.
I clutched my chest as though that could slow the runaway organ, trying not to notice how thick and oppressive the darkness around me had become.
The fire had long died out, even the embers had died. My hands were clammy. Trembling.
Every time my eyes closed, I saw him again. The unseen male, the feral chase I’m always doomed to lose, the blade in the dark, the pain erupting across my throat, the blood spray—
“Breathe.”
I jumped, startled, backing away when a hand calmly grasped mine, its warmth at odds with the cold dread that ensnared me. I could barely see his outline, but he was there. Ash.
“What are you—” I hated myself for the shakiness of my voice. “Have you been sitting here?”
“Your screams wake the dead, Fallyn. I didn’t want to see what those screams might attract,” he said, in a voice as calm as the coming dusk. “I figured someone should ensure you don’t tear yourself apart. Even in your dreams.”
My hands still shook as I pressed my hands into them, the tears only just kept at bay.
“It’s the same every single time. I’m murdered and I can’t stop it.
No matter how hard I run, what I use to hide myself, how hard I fight, I die.
And I can’t see who is doing it. My death is a different brand of violent every time.
If these dreams are a warning, how am I supposed to know who I should be warned against? ”
Silence stretched. Then movement, the rustle of fabric.
The bedroll dipped beneath his weight. He was so close I could feel his warmth even through the layers of blankets.
I froze; he was close but not touching me.
His presence filled the cave. I felt flickers of his magic echoing around the small enclosure.
His proximity had felt menacing before, especially at his estate. But right now, I felt oddly comforted. Protected. “You’re not dying tonight.” His voice was steady, rough. “Not while I’m here. I’ll take your monsters and make them mine.”
It was the conviction in his tone that had me glancing at him in surprise. “That’s sweet of you.” The words escaped me before I could clamp them back down between my teeth. I’d meant it at sarcastic deflection, not as an awestruck girl still shaking off what was left of her fear.
“Careful.” I heard his mouth curve into a smirk rather than see it. “Call me sweet again and next time I’ll leave you to your nightmares just to prove you wrong.”
I couldn’t place it. It’s not like I had much to go on. I could swear his tone didn’t have the bite it usually had. The tightness in my chest that threatened to strangle me eased, despite his warning.
An odd reaction.
“Good thing I don’t believe you.” My whisper was a far softer tone than I’d ever used with him.
For the first time since Este Valnor had fallen, I felt a semblance of safety settling over me like a blanket.
As much as I didn’t entirely trust Ash, he needed me alive for the curse to be lifted, and he didn’t strike me as the sort of male that failed at anything.
Ash didn’t answer, but I felt the lick of shadows, warm and tingling against my skin, chasing away the last cold touch of dread. Cocooned in the warm shadows and the warmth of Ash himself, I laid down once more.
Ash didn’t move away.
When I woke again, I was shocked that I’d slept the entire remainder of the night through without so much as a whisper of another nightmare.
Ash was leaning against the opening of the cave, stoically keeping watch.
His pack was neatly beside him, ready to go.
I blinked. The sun was high in the sky, high enough that we should have been moving hours ago.
Had he let me sleep until I woke naturally?
I took a quiet moment to observe him, pretending that last night hadn’t left me shaken and breathless. But for once, it had nothing to do with my nightmares. I bit my lip, still gazing at him.
“Staring is rude,” he said, startling me out of my reverie. I jumped, refocusing on him to see him looking back at me deadpanned. “You look…” he paused, casually reaching for the right words, “less dead than usual?”
I lurched to my feet and shrugged my jacket on to drive away the chill of the late morning. “Charming. And here I thought you were more subtle than that.”
He grinned at me, his eyes flashing with something. Was he… teasing? “Subtlety is for cowards who don’t know how to be direct.”
“Then allow me to be direct. Thank you.” I resisted the urge the fidget under his gaze, fold my hands, or bite my lip. His jaw tightened and I hurriedly added, “For letting me sleep in. I appreciate it.”
A beat of silence stretched much like last night.
Images of him watching over me while I slept came to mind, the protectiveness in his voice making gooseflesh erupt over my skin.
I pulled my jacket tighter. “Well, you did flail all night in terror. It didn’t look very restful,” he said quickly with a shrug. My cheeks warmed.
“You watched me sleep?” I laughed to quell the tension rising from the pit of my stomach, setting to work, packing my things into my roll pack. “That’s creepy, Ash.”
“Oh, I’m aware.” His voice was casual, dropping just a notch. “Should have let the nightmares have you.”
His barb didn’t embed itself in me like it should have. It fell harmlessly between us. It was strange. My nightmares had kept me from sleeping near anyone my entire life, and now here I was joking about them.
“Lucky for me, you need me alive.” Folding my arms again, I deepened my tone, “I will use you mercilessly.”
Taken aback for a beat, Ash recovered with a hearty laugh, his broad shoulders shaking. “Was that supposed to be me? Because that was pathetic.”
I couldn’t help the grin that stretched my lips. “Then sounds to me like it was spot on.”
Ash sobered, tilting his head. For a moment, a breath, his smirk faltered. His galaxy eyes shimmered—impossibly dark with those stunning flecks of gold—captivated mine, all serious beneath the teasing.
“I don’t fail at protecting what’s mine, Fallyn. Just so you know.”
“I don’t belong to you.”
He straightened, strolling toward me. “You absolutely do.” He reached for my left hand where our curses mirrored the other’s, the inky stain climbing, striding up to our wrists now. “Until this is gone, you are mine. And I don’t lose what’s mine.”
My stomach flipped. His words bounced around in my mind, growing louder with each reverberation.
“Yours?” I sneered, turning my attention the outside that lay behind him. “I told you I won’t be kept like a pet, and I meant it.”
“Go ahead and bite, little shadow.” He closed more distance between us until he was directly in front of me. “See if I let go.”
My breath hitched, before doubling its pace.
This time the silence that stretched was my doing, trying to wrangle my body back under my control.
Trying to douse the fire he was starting, somewhere in my being.
Ignoring I shouldered my pack, leaving nothing behind.
I didn’t look at him as I brushed past him to breathe in the crisp, mountain air.
“You mistake my compliance for complacency. I’m simply choosing not to waste my bite on you.
” My boots crunched over the gravel at the base of the mountainside, leaving him smirking infuriatingly in my wake.
He followed behind me and I tried very hard not to feel as though I was running away from him.
The swiftly rising dawn brought with it the vibrant pinks and purple hues present only after a tremendous storm. The road was sloppy and puddle ridden from last night’s deluge, forcing me to walk off the road on the slippery grass to avoid sinking into the mud.
“The good news is the land is flat, and we can spot the guards well in advance.” Ash said.
“And the bad news?”
“They might be able to spot us too if they have a looking glass, but we can still see them coming and disappear into the trees if we need.”
“And if they follow us?”
Ash’s blunt laugh was chilling. “It’ll be the last thing they do. They can’t reveal our location if they’re dead.”