Chapter 9
Beckett leaned against the wall in the dark hallway, his heart racing at a full-out gallop.
It was his wedding night. Hyacinth was in the bedroom behind him, taking care of her personal needs, and would soon be in bed.
Bed.
Beckett palmed the back of his neck. His hand was sweaty even though the hallway was cold due to the open window at one end allowing in the night breeze.
At a thump from inside the room, he straightened and faced the door. “Everything all right?” he asked through the thin slab of wood.
“Yes, Beckett. Someone’s in here mauling me. You’d better get in here and save me.” Her tone held sarcasm.
He deserved the sarcasm after the way he’d reacted to the fella who’d been hankering after her a while ago in the dining room.
Beckett hadn’t meant for his blood to bubble hotter than bacon in a panful of lard.
But the second he’d walked in to see the man standing above Hyacinth and peering down at her like he wanted to eat her for dessert, Beckett had felt like shooting up the room.
He’d hardly been able to swallow his meal past the tightness of his throat, which hadn’t gone away until they’d left the dining room and the stares of so many people.
It was easy to see that Hyacinth was gonna attract attention everywhere she went during their travels to Texas. She was just too dad-blamed pretty for her own good.
“Ready,” came her soft call.
Ready? A streak of lightning crashed through him, sending a bolt of heat straight to his gut. What did she mean? What was she ready for? Not for him to join her in bed. Nope. That wasn’t it. He drew in a breath, frustrated with himself for even thinking that.
It was way too soon to push her to sleep together. Way, way too soon. If he even hinted at it, she’d probably hightail it right back to Breckenridge. And now that he actually had a wife and they’d arrived at some sort of truce, he didn’t want to ruin the peace.
He had to go in there and assure her he wouldn’t pressure her. Then he’d bed down on the floor.
He placed a hand on the doorknob.
Yep, that’s what he had to do. Before sharing a bed, he had to give them both plenty of time to feel comfortable with each other and even learn to love each other. Love was a possibility at some point, wasn’t it?
He wanted it to be, wanted to do as the reverend had instructed that morning to make his marriage work. That meant taking things slow and building a solid foundation to their relationship, which so far had been mighty rocky.
Inhaling a deep breath, he opened the door to darkness. She’d turned out the light, which was probably for the best. He didn’t need to see her in her nightgown in bed. Even just the thought of her in a state of undress and waiting in the bed made his lungs seize up.
He closed and locked the door, then crossed to the bed.
He could see her outline in the faint moonlight coming through the window.
She was motionless on one side of the bed with plenty of space left on the other, as if she’d anticipated him needing a lot of room.
Or maybe she just wanted to sleep as far away from him as possible.
Her body was also rigid and her breathing fast. Because she was nervous?
He grabbed the pillow from beside her, then the extra blanket that had been folded on the end of the bed. He tossed them to the floor. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna jump into bed with you the first chance I have.”
“You’re not?” Her question was shaky.
“Nope.”
She seemed to drag in a breath. Of relief?
A small flame of irritation flared to life. Was she still that antagonistic toward him that she dreaded sleeping with him? “But since you obviously married me for the intimacy, we’ll have it soon enough.”
She snorted. “I didn’t marry you for the intimacy, and if you think so, you’re deluding yourself.”
He kicked off one boot. “That’s why you kissed me and why you chose me over Giles Gray.”
“No, it is not.” Her tone turned cold. “I didn’t want to be selfish and use Mr. Gray, so I chose you.”
“But it’s fine and dandy to use me?”
“You’re using me too, so that makes it perfectly okay.”
He supposed she was right, that they were using each other to some extent. The realization bothered him, only adding to his irritation. “I’m fixin’ to have a real marriage. So if that bothers you, then maybe we should call the whole thing off before we get too far.”
“I understand that this is a real marriage.” She spoke stiffly. “And I’m prepared to do my wifely duties.”
“Fine. Just so we’re clear.”
“We’re clear.”
He didn’t like the direction their conversation was taking. He didn’t want her to consider intimacy with him wifely duties. But what could he expect? At this point, it would be an obligation since she didn’t like him that much.
He kicked off his boot. “Just so you know, there’s no such thing as wifely duties in my marriage. I’ll wait to kiss you again until you’re ready for it.”
“You’ll be waiting a long time.”
“Doubt that. You’ll be begging me soon enough.”
“Doubt that.” She huffed.
“Oh, darlin’.” He lowered his voice. “Just you wait and see.”
She didn’t respond, but did her breath hitch?
He wasn’t sure, but one thing was certain. He would relish the opportunity to woo and win her so that when he next kissed her, she would be ready.
He didn’t say anything more as he lay down on the floor, covered himself with the blanket, then bunched up the pillow behind his head.
He stared through the dark at the ceiling.
This wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured spending his wedding night, but he knew it was the right thing.
No matter what woman he’d wedded, even if the mail-order bride had worked out, the respectful thing was to be patient and let love have time to grow.
He heaved a long sigh. He just hoped love would be able to grow between him and Hyacinth.
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor,” she finally said. “The bed will accommodate two people.”
He guffawed. “No how, no way. That bed is way too small for the both of us, darlin’.”
“I don’t take up much room.”
“That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
“That you’re a desirable woman, and I’m not a saint.”
She fell silent.
Had he said too much? Maybe he had. But what was the point in hiding how he felt about her now that they were married? She may as well know that he was attracted to her, even if he didn’t act on that attraction for now.
He closed his eyes. The truth was, he wasn’t real good at interacting with women and never had been. That meant he had a long way to go in learning how to interact with Hyacinth and show her he was a man worthy of her love in return.