23. Twenty-Three
twenty-three
The cat had a concerning propensity to seek out exactly the thing that had killed it. There was a clever saying in the making there, but Neira had other things on her mind as she sat by the open window of her sprawling sitting room and watched the cat sit on the windowsill, its fur permanently ruffed along one side of its neck and shoulder where undoubtedly it had hit the ground. Its long tail was twitching as it watched the sparrows dart through the branches of an old tree just off from the window, out of reach. Every now and then it would complain about the absolute unfairness of the little brown birds being too far away to snatch, chattering its frustration loudly into the late morning air.
So far, it hadn't tried to jump, but Neira kept a watchful eye anyway. No doubt its obsession with the birds was what had caused its fatal fall and Neira wondered if dead things, once brought back, were doomed to repeat their lethal mistake. The regiars, after all, certainly had fucked up their second chance at life.
Or perhaps it was merely just a cat, doing cat things.
A book lay open on Neira's lap, the fourth she had brought back from the library, but she hadn't read more than a single paragraph since she'd sat down here after breakfast. The castle was still atwitter with the murder, and she was very much not in the mood to deal with that today.
Her maids had been nervous, which was understandable. Neira had had no soothing words to offer them, had merely nodded along to their quiet conversation and bid them to be careful.
It all felt woefully inadequate. This was not what she had expected a queen's life to be like. How could she protect these people, something a queen was certainly supposed to do, when they weren't even her people to begin with? What could she do, while sequestering herself in her rooms day in and day out?
"What the fuck is that?"
She slammed her book shut and glanced at Erqis in the doorway. "You never knock, do you?"
He waved that away, stalking closer – carefully, as if the kitten would attack him if given even the slightest chance. Once close enough, he gently poked the back of its neck with the tip of one finger.
The cat made a surprised little sound and faced him, back arching.
"Leave him alone. Have you never seen a cat before?"
"That," Erqis declared, pointing, "is no mere cat." A mix of dread and delight passed over his face when the cat purred and rubbed its cheek against his finger. "What did you do?"
The question felt like a trap – what would Erqis do if he knew she had somehow animated the cat? What would he make her do, once he found out that her father's magic had apparently passed to her? She went cold. It wasn't like she could control it. She didn't even know how she'd done this, or if she could do it again. It had just happened.
"I made a friend," she said simply, giving him a bland smile.
"I see."
She set the book aside and scooped the cat into her arms. It rubbed the top of its head against her jaw, purring louder still. Neira stroked the fine, black fur, her throat tightening.
Hers.
"His name is Strings."
Erqis raised an eyebrow, quiet for a long moment before he shrugged. "Fine, have an odd cat."
"It was my brother's favourite game."
She didn't know why she was explaining the cat's new name, and immediately regretted it when the king made that infuriating sound he did when he was amused but also felt derision for whatever topic they were discussing, that uncivilised snort.
There was no one Neira knew who was quite as exasperating.
He must have seen it on her face, another maddening thing about him, because his own softened. "If you tell me where he is, I could have him brought here, and you could play it with him again."
"No."
It was bad enough that Erqis refused to believe the lie she had spun, that she had made sure of the boy's demise for her own gain. Her husband to be – another annoying folly he would not back down from, and now neither would she, from sheer spite alone – saw her as quite a bit better than she was.
Infuriating, indeed.
"You still don't trust me."
"What did you seek me for today, Erqis?" Neira sat again, settling the cat on her lap.
She watched Erqis closely, saw how he scrutinised her for a moment longer, and ultimately came to the decision to not rise to her bait. Instead, he took a deep breath and released it on a sigh. He leaned back against the windowsill, his arms crossed.
Neira found herself drawn to two things: the first, was how nice it would be to shove him out the window. The second was the sinews in his forearms. His propensity for wearing his sleeves rolled up was, she was sure, the primary reason she had landed herself in this mess in the first place. It was entirely unfair.
"Well," he drew out, tilting his head back. Where the sunlight touched his hair, it turned the colour of molten gold, crowning him with the halo of his curls. "I wanted to come see how you were."
"Did you."
"Indeed I did. It's not a lie," he insisted, his sharp gaze catching hers. "I know what you saw the other day. A tragedy, to be sure, and immensely concerning besides. It seems dead bodies just keep following the two of us around, huh? To anyone else, a murder leading up to your wedding would be bad luck – not so much for you and me, I suppose."
Neira pinched the bridge of her nose. "You are rambling, Erqis. Why would you be worried about me?"
Why do you care , was what she wanted to ask. Why do you care about a woman you felt obligated to take along after conquering her home and leaving it empty .
But she couldn't bear his smiling, flirtatious excuses today. Perhaps she was more rattled than she had thought, and his concern not entirely fabricated or unnecessary.
"Because you are, once again, hiding in your room. I thought we were beyond that."
"There is no reason for you to care where I spend my days. Aren't you busy running a kingdom? You should be. I hear it’s a large one."
"Do you know," he asked, his fingers tightening where they rested on his arms, "what I did to win this kingdom?"
"I had assumed you waltzed in here one day and declared yourself the new king. Is that not what happened?"
"That would have been quite hilarious, but no." A quick grin flitted over his face. "Can you imagine the face Qav would have made? No. Much like Brightmere, I defeated the king on the battlefield and then declared myself ruler of his lands. You know, like civilised people. I fought, and I sacrificed-"
"And didn't even find a princess here to marry. Shame."
"I find that quite lucky, honestly. You and I never would have begun our epic romance if I had already been married, after all."
"Epic indeed. Is there a point to your story, Erqis?"
"Yes. I do have a point. We'll get to it much sooner if you stop interrupting me."
Neira gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. Despite herself, their back and forth was brightening up what had otherwise been proving to be yet another dreary day. Gods below, she had to develop a strategy against his charm.
"But interrupting your self-flattery is the joy of my life!" She waved her hand haughtily. "Go on with your rambling, then."
"The point is that, as accomplished as I am in battle, and as utterly terrifying I am as a foe – stop laughing, Neira – I am not a noble by birth. I saw a people, a kingdom, that could be so much more than what it was, and I seized that opportunity."
"That does suit your ego, yes."
"Indeed! But once I had this kingdom, Duskport and the surrounding provinces within Mir, I couldn't very well stop. I had already garnered Vellia's support to secure the other two port cities, Breakshore and Vilmar, and with them an armada. And then, of course, I couldn’t rule an empire of empty bellies, so I took Sersina and Helorn for their grain fields and cattle farms. And then…"
He looked at her with something akin to pity, to guilt. His boasting turned to something more gentle.
"I took Brightmere because it's widely regarded as cursed, ruled by a sorcerer wielding forbidden magic. I thought that if I disposed of the threat, it would bring me favour with the other realms."
"My father never threatened anyone," Neira said quietly, her hand stilling on the cat's back. Its purring rumbled through her, the only thing grounding her.
"You know, that is exactly what the letters from Woodhaven said." Erqis’ grin was crooked, performative. "And in my absence dissent has grown loud, it seems. The nobles at court wonder if I am mad, riding off into distant lands to liberate cursed forests from its masters, instead of being here and managing my own kingdom. They think me greedy and my ideas fantastical."
"Perhaps they’re right. Why do you do it? I understand taking them for your empire, but riding out and subjugating other realms yourself, when you could send heroes and generals instead?" Neira scoffed. "Did you think a ruler's work was done by merely winning the lands he wishes to rule over? I dare say that may have been the easy part of your endeavour."
"I am inclined to agree." Erqis hesitated before speaking again. "When I first met you, you wanted to be queen sovereign, Neira… is that still the case?"
Neira frowned. "I'll have you know that putting me on a throne you seem eager to abandon will not set either of us up for success. They will respect my sovereignty no more than they do yours."
"Not what I was hinting at, but well noted. No. You have something I lack, pet – a noble’s education, a royal bloodline. Your father trained you well in regards of ruling, yes? He must have, if you were his heir before little prince Ramekin came along."
He had, yes, but not as well as Neira would have liked. She would never admit it, but doubt reared its ugly head, along with anger at Erqis deliberately misnaming her brother.
"This court is a vipers' pit."
"No more than your own was. You held your own against those men for years!"
"And they betrayed me the moment they had the opportunity."
"Yes," Erqis said, eyes glinting. "Because they knew you. At least they thought they knew you, until you drove my dagger through one man's throat and your fingers through another's eye. Here, you can build your reputation from scratch, and make it as grand as your talents."
"And have them call me an evil bitch behind my back?"
"No." Erqis pushed away from the window to take a knee in front of her. Their fingers laced together. His eyes had that delighted, almost manic gleam again. "Have them call you an evil queen . I will make you my wife, crown you, give you the protection and authority you need – and you will lend me your expertise at running a kingdom in return. Save me from having young women thrust at me day in, day out."
Neira opened her mouth to reply, closed it again with no words spoken. He made it sound like he was giving her a choice – asking for her help instead of demanding it from a royal hostage. What would happen if she refused him? Erqis had yet to be cruel to her, but she had seen the delight he took in chaos and murder.
What would he do to her when he no longer found her useful?
What good would a title and crown do her if it was the king who held all the reins? What protection would it afford her, if her life was still his?
"You asked if I still wanted to be a queen."
"Yes."
"What if I don't?"
Erqis' smile softened. "If your goals have changed… well, I can't force you. Help me settle the court, and afterwards you can do whatever you like. I will set you up with enough coin to start a new life with, a new name, servants of your own. You could leave Malvea and see the world. You could run a vineyard in Helorn, or delve into apiculture in Woodhaven. Go wherever you sent Ramin to."
Pretty words and nothing more. It was almost disappointing.
"You promised me that before. It was a lie then, too."
"It wasn't a lie ." Erqis rose, his frustration finally showing on his face. "I never lied to you. Circumstances changed."
"And they can again."
"What did you want me to do, Neira? Leave you there? Alone? Abandon you in Breakshore?" He scoffed. "I saved your life."
Strings jumped off her lap when Neira shot to her feet, as fast as her fury had risen in her. "Don't you dare peddle that misconception. I would have been fine had you never darkened our door!"
"As the unwanted spinster princess, snubbed as an heir for a child?" He snapped at her, one hand wrapped tight around the window frame as if he had to physically hold himself back from reaching for her. "You can not be serious."
"Better to be skipped over than to feebly grasp for power that was never yours to take at all!"
"Oh, you would know, wouldn't you."
"I know what it means to be part of a court, at least."
"Your court hated you!" He roared.
Neira took a step back, steel straightening her spine. Heat crept up her neck, into her cheeks and ears, and it took all she had not to lash out at him, to now claw at those blazing, golden-green eyes until he would never be able to see her for exactly what she was again.
Underestimated. Unwanted.
Disliked.
When she didn’t hurl any words back at him, something akin to guilt crept across Erqis’ face. She looked away.
“Neira...”
"Don't." She'd stew, later, over the indignity of how choked up she sounded. When she met his eyes again, hers were sharp, her chin held haughtily aloft, not an ounce of softness to her. "I accept your deal. I will bring order to your court. I will marry you to secure your reign. But when our business is finished…"
"Neira. Please-"
”When we are finished, when I decide our business is finished, I will take my leave of you." With or without his coin. "And until then, I will make you regret every single lie you have told me, every day you have kept me in chains."
"I never-"
"Leave." She refused to look at him. "I have a wedding to prepare for."
Long after the door had closed behind him Neira stood there, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.