Chapter 23 #2
“I don’t know what they would and wouldn’t do, honestly,” I said as I plucked a chip from the plate in front of me and popped it into my mouth.
The crunch of my teeth sinking into the salty snack was the only sound in the room as Bette continued to run her hand over her stomach, her expression twisted with concern.
While I felt a little bad for worrying her, I had to admit it was nice to not be alone in my apprehension.
I also felt like she should be prepared.
She was too nice and trusting, and I didn’t want her to be blindsided if something did happen.
Even though I wasn’t in danger of being inseminated for a few more weeks, I still had to attend the support group, and was unsurprised to discover that we were down a person during September’s meeting. Lilly, it seemed, had given birth the previous week.
“A healthy girl,” Janice announced, sounding so proud you would have thought she’d had the baby.
“Lucky her,” Malika muttered. “Now she can get back to her life.”
“I can’t fucking wait,” Ginger snarled.
Janice shook her head. “Let’s stay on track, ladies.”
A chorus of grumbles followed.
The virus had spread to every part of the country by the eleventh, and the persistent rumors and looming pandemic overshadowed what was typically a day of remembrance in our country.
Since her husband worked for the government – although I wasn’t really sure what he did – Bette asked him about the things we’d heard, but his only response had been to pat her on the cheek and tell her not to worry.
Easier said than done. Not that he would understand since he wasn’t in danger of anyone using his body.
Despite not wanting my little respite from the program to be up, I was actually looking forward to my six-week checkup.
Not because I wanted to see Hilary or the doctor or even Department of Fertility Barbie, but because I thought I might be able to get some clues about what was going on during the visit.
Maybe this time when I asked Hilary about the rumors, she’d tell me they were ridiculous and not to worry about it.
The last one wouldn’t really reassure me, but at least I’d be able to gauge her expression and attitude when she said it, would be able to form some kind of opinion for myself that didn’t have anything to do with social media posts and conspiracy theories.
Wanting to both get the exam over with and possibly get some answers, I arrived at the Department of Fertility right when they opened at nine o’clock in the morning, mask securely over my nose and mouth.
Everyone wore them now, from the woman who greeted me to the security guards who searched my purse and checked me in, to Corporal Ramirez.
Not being able to see his smirk was strange, but it also allowed me to notice how pretty his eyes were.
Chestnut brown and big with thick, dark lashes that would make any woman envious.
The waiting room, as usual, was empty, and behind the front desk, Department of Fertility Barbie sat sipping what I could only assume was coffee from a mug that said I’d agree with you but then I’d be an idiot too. It almost made me like her.
As if caught doing something wrong, she blushed and put the mug under her desk, so it was out of my line of vision, then quickly pulled her mask into place. “Miss Murphy! How good to see you.”
“Here for my six-week checkup,” I said, not bothering to act like I was happy to see her or anyone here.
“I’ll let them know you’re here.” She waved toward the waiting room while reaching for the phone with her other hand.
I took a seat, shifted to get comfortable, then picked through the magazines as I waited for Hilary to retrieve me.
I hadn’t really intended to do more than browse but was unable to ignore the magazine in the middle of the pile.
Department of Fertility Monthly was printed on the cover in big, bold letters.
I picked it up and leafed through it. There were recipes for healthy meals on a budget, articles about the benefits of exercise, and even interviews from women who’d been in the program.
I chose to skim one of those, my frown deepening as I read the gushing words from the proud new mother of twin boys as she talked about how nice everyone at the Department of Fertility had been and how amazing her new housing development was.
I hadn’t known if I would keep my baby when I entered the program, but once I heard the heartbeats, I knew I would.
It was still terrifying, though, because I didn’t have a partner.
But the government made it all so easy. They gave me a house in this amazing community of people who’ve all been through the same things I have.
We have doctors who make house calls and a daycare center just down the street, and I don’t ever feel alone.
I really couldn’t have asked for anything more.
What a bunch of bullshit.
Snorting at the blatant propaganda, I tossed the still open magazine on the table before glancing at the frosted glass door. Seconds later, Hilary stuck her head out.
“Ara.” A mask covered her nose and mouth, but I could picture the less than happy expression she always wore when dealing with me when she pushed the door open wider.
I stood and followed her through the door.
“How have you been?” Hilary asked as she led the way down the hall. “Your bloodwork is excellent, and your HcG levels are down, so that’s good, but I wanted to check on you emotionally. A lot has been going on both with your body and the world, and I want to be sure you’re handling it all okay.”
Because if I wasn’t, they would be sympathetic to my emotional state and allow me to bow out of this whole thing? Right.
Out loud I said, “Okay. A little concerned about the pandemic, but not bad overall.”
“It is worrisome, I know.” Hilary stopped at one of the first exam rooms and waved for me to enter. “But rest assured, the Department of Fertility has the program’s participants’ best interests in mind as they decide how to proceed.”
Despite it sounding like a canned response, the comment had me instantly on edge. Was she alluding to the fact that things were about to change, or was she trying to put me at ease? If it was the second one, she’d failed. Miserably.
The lights automatically flicked on when I stepped into the room, and even though I knew why I was here, I cringed at the sight of the exam table with its dreaded stirrups.
“The doctor will want to check you out. Make sure everything is all healed and ready for action.” She waved to the exam table where a cloth covering sat ready for me. “You can get undressed from the waist down while you wait.”
“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled, then on instinct, turned to face her. “Can I ask you something?”
Her brows lifted but there was no surprise in her expression. “What is it?”
“There have been these rumors. About what the Department of Fertility is doing with the women in the program. I mean, I know it’s probably crazy and I’ve tried to ignore them, but it has me wondering. And worried as well, if I’m being honest. Can you tell me anything?”
“This was something I was going to address after your appointment, but since you brought it up, I suppose we can get it out of the way. While I can’t speak to the source of the rumors, I can tell you they aren’t completely unfounded.
Although they are exaggerated.” Hilary didn’t look at me when she said the first part, but after a slight pause, she lifted her gaze to mine.
“Before I go farther, I need to remind you of your confidentiality agreement. Nothing you hear in this building is to be shared on any social media or news outlet. Understand?”
I nodded, too terrified to find my voice. Too busy trying to prepare myself for the impact of what she would say next. As if that was possible.
“I have been ordered to inform all of my girls to pack a bag and be ready. Nothing has been decided yet, but the Secretary of Fertility is meeting with top doctors to discuss if all women in the program need to be moved to a secure location to protect them from this pandemic. I get that it sounds extreme and scary, but know that we aren’t taking any of this lightly.
We want to do what’s in the best interest of all the unborn babies in our care as well as those women who haven’t yet conceived. Do you understand?”
For a second, I couldn’t say a thing. It not only didn’t seem fair, but also didn’t seem like something they could do.
Despite what Trevor had told me and what I’d said to Bette.
They couldn’t lock me away just because I was fertile.
Not even the Department of Fertility had that kind of power. Did they?
“Nothing in the contract gives them the authority to do that,” I blurted.
Hilary’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. “If you really believe that, you should have paid more attention. The contract clearly states that the best interest of all unborn babies, even those not yet conceived, have the highest priority. It also says that the Department of Fertility has the right to adjust the parameters of your part in the program if circumstances change, including but not limited to any new pandemics. We must, after all, consider what this new virus will do to the human race. You must have seen the news, Ara, read the reports by experts. They’re saying if we don’t do something drastic to save ourselves, this could be the end of humanity. ”
I nodded to let her know I’d seen the news, read all the articles, but I couldn’t find my voice.
Worse than the knowledge that the rumors had been true was this new understanding of what I’d been forced to sign.
They had all the power, could change the rules at any time without much of an excuse, even, and I could do nothing.
What would they change next? How would it affect me?
I couldn’t think about it. Not now. Later.