Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
It was easy to get into a routine at the Stanley because, like everything else in my life, I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.
I checked my wristband in the morning when it chimed, ate breakfast with a very pregnant Bette, did my work shift, attended meetings and appointments, killed time in one of the entertainment areas either watching movies or playing games, ate meals, and went to bed every night at the same time so I could start it all over again the next day.
The time passed so quickly that before I knew it, we’d been at the hotel for a little over a week.
It was on the ninth day as I was getting dressed and my wristband dinged that things once again changed.
FERTILE. FERTILE. FERTILE.
The word flashed across the display.
“Shit,” I muttered, then closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.
As inevitable as this moment was, I’d been hoping it might never come. It was here, though, which meant I would once again be inseminated with a stranger’s sperm, and in a couple short weeks, could potentially learn I was pregnant.
I wasn’t ready.
As I sat on the edge of the bed, my stomach twisting into knots, my mind for some reason wandered to Marc.
Despite knowing what I was risking, I’d spoken to him every day.
Sometimes we met on the terrace for privacy, but other times we simply traded a couple words in passing.
We were keeping it simple, being careful, but I wasn’t a fool.
I was seeking him out because I liked him, and with each passing day, the attraction grew more intense.
And with nothing else to focus on, it was unlikely that would change any time soon.
Would a pregnancy change how he treated me?
My wristband dinged, and I forced myself to look at it again.
A reminder to head to the clinic flashed across the screen, making me roll my eyes.
Hilary had said to report there immediately, but couldn’t they give me time to brush my teeth?
Five minutes couldn’t possibly change what was going to happen next.
Knowing I needed to get going, I finished getting ready, the movements automatic since my mind was on what was going to happen next.
It was the same when I brushed my teeth and hair, then worked it into a ponytail.
It was all muscle memory. Like I was moving on autopilot.
I barely even recalled swiping my room key off the dresser on my way out.
Before heading down, I crossed the hall to Bette’s room and knocked. Since we typically ate breakfast together, I wanted to let her know what was going on. Although she was literally the only person I would tell.
“You’re early,” she said when she opened the door, offering me a big smile.
She was thirty-five weeks pregnant now and showing it.
Her belly was lower than it had been, her face puffy and her feet swollen, and she waddled like a duck when she walked.
Still, she was glowing, and the closer she got to her due date, the happier she seemed.
Despite the uncertainty surrounding whether she’d get to go home.
“I won’t be at breakfast.” I waved to my wristband instead of explaining.
Bette’s smile slipped away. “Oh, Ara, I’m sorry.”
“It had to happen,” I shrugged to cover how upset I was.
My friend gnawed on her bottom lip, clearly searching for something to say. Since she stayed quiet, I assumed she couldn’t think of anything. I got it. This situation was pretty much the worst.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured her. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I know,” Bette replied.
I stepped back, gave a little wave, and headed off, calling over my shoulder, “I’ll see you at lunch!”
The stairwell was crowded with people heading down to breakfast, but if I passed anyone I recognized, I didn’t notice. My brain buzzed and my body hummed with nervous energy, and I wanted to both get this part over with and find a way to put it off forever. Too bad that was impossible.
Hilary was pacing outside the clinic when I reached it, but she stopped when she saw me and threw her hands up in exasperation. “There you are!”
“My wristband dinged ten minutes ago,” I replied, not bothering to hide my annoyance. “I had to get dressed and brush my teeth.”
Hilary rolled her eyes but thankfully said nothing else before yanking the door open and waving for me to go ahead of her. “In you go.”
I did as instructed, crossing the threshold into the makeshift clinic.
Portable walls had been positioned throughout the largest ballroom in the hotel to create rooms, and curtains had been hung at the openings to give the illusion of privacy.
Some held exam tables outfitted with stirrups and wheeled carts to hold the necessary medical supplies, while others had been set up to use for counseling or other appointments.
Women, apparently, would labor and give birth in their rooms, but in the event that a c-section was required, there was a space for that as well.
There was a nursery for observing any baby who might need it after birth, and office space for the doctors.
The Department of Fertility had thought of it all, had planned for everything, all so women like me could live out the pandemic in seclusion while still popping out babies.
Like the Department of Fertility back home, a desk had been set up where patients could check in when they arrived. Unlike back home, it was manned by an armed soldier, and the one today just so happened to be Marc.
“We’re here to see the doctor,” Hilary said as she marched toward the desk.
Marc’s eyebrows lifted slightly when he saw me standing behind her, but it was the only outward sign that he knew who I was.
He nodded to my minder, then tapped his finger against the tablet in front of him.
It was propped up so I couldn’t see the screen, but I imagined he was pulling my information up since my wristband had probably alerted not just Hilary to my change in status, but the clinic as well. They would want to be ready for me.
“Arabella Murphy?” he said when he looked up, even though he knew very well that was who was standing in front of him.
“That’s me,” I replied in an equally unfamiliar tone.
Marc’s gaze moved back to the screen. “Looks like they’ve set you up in room three. You can head on back.”
He looked at Hilary when he said it, playing his part perfectly. When she’d moved on, though, he shifted his attention to me. We stared at one another, communicating silently, him telling me he was sorry that I was going through this, me telling him I was thankful for the support.
The silent exchange was over in seconds, but enough to give me the strength to follow Hilary. I might not have Trevor’s shoulder to cry on this time around, but I wasn’t alone, either. Not completely, anyway.
My second insemination wasn’t much different from the first other than the setting.
The doctor was younger and less jovial than the one from back home, and the nurse hadn’t yet learned to detest me.
Hilary was present, but thankfully stood behind me, and was out of my line of sight.
I stared at the ceiling the entire time the way I had before, but instead of a stupid motivational poster, I focused on a chandelier.
Counting the tear-shaped crystals was an even better way to distract myself from what was going on between my legs, and before I’d made it past fifty, the doctor stood and declared that I was all set.
“We’ll see you back in two weeks if you don’t get your cycle,” he said as he pulled the latex gloves from his hands and tossed them into a nearby trashcan. “Be sure to get lots of rest and drink plenty of water in the meantime, okay? We want to keep that body of yours shipshape, so it’s ready.”
“I will,” I mumbled as I lowered my legs.
The doctor gave me a tight smile before pushing through the curtains, his focus already shifting to the nurse. “Who do we have next?”
“Three pregnant women for checkups, one who’s two days overdue,” the nurse replied.
The curtain fell back into place, blocking them from view but not muffling their words since there was very little privacy.
“Get the portable ultrasound for that one. If her fluid is good, I’ll let her go a few more days before we attempt to induce since I already have one c-section and two inductions scheduled.
Damn, I wish they would send us a few more doctors.
I’m spread too thin already and inseminating more women every day.
How the hell do they expect us to keep up with everything? ”
He and the nurse had made it far enough away that I couldn’t hear the woman’s response. Not that I cared since I was too busy thinking about the sperm that had been injected into my uterus. It made me physically ill.
“We’ve been through all this before,” Hilary said, as she crossed the small room to the curtain. “You can get dressed and go about your normal schedule, but remember not to overdo it.”
Like an obedient child, I nodded.
Hilary pressed her lips together in disapproval the way she always did and shoved the curtain aside, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll see you at group.”
She ducked out, and the curtain fell back into place with a whoosh, leaving me alone. Thankfully.
I took my time getting dressed even though breakfast would be ending soon.
My stomach was too uneasy to eat, anyway, and I wasn’t exactly in a rush to get to my work shift.
Minder Jane had no doubt been informed of my change in status, so there was a good excuse for my absence, and even though I’d come to appreciate the routine, I wasn’t in a hurry to answer questions about where I’d been or act like it didn’t bother me.
It did bother me. A whole hell of a lot.