Chapter 26
Chapter twenty-six
The Mossy Pint feels like walking into a forest after rain.
Green light from the stained-glass spills over the tables, warm and soft.
Tess and Marley are already in our corner booth.
Marley’s reading the cocktail list like its sacred text; Tess is scrolling on her phone, probably buried in a manuscript.
Marley looks up first. ‘There she is! Our emotionally evolved leading lady.’
I groan. ‘Don’t start.’
‘But also not wrong,’ Rey retorts, sliding in beside me.
Tess looks up, her expression direct. ‘How are you, really?’
‘Better,’ I say, wrapping my hands around the cool glass of water in front of me. ‘Messy, but better.’
Marley arches a brow. ‘Uh oh. Crisis or character development?’
‘Bit of both,’ I admit. ‘I’ve been getting weird, anonymous emails. Stuff about credit, secrets, buried things.’
Marley frowns. ‘Creepy much?’
Tess straightens. ‘Do you think it’s him?’
I nod once. ‘Feels like it.’
‘Forward them to me,’ Tess instructs, already in fix-it mode. ‘We’ll log everything, timestamps, backups, just in case.’
Rey adds, ‘And block his number. No contact. We un-train the panic.’
I manage a breathy laugh. ‘You sound like my old therapist.’
‘Good,’ Rey says. ‘She’s smarter than me.’
Marley reaches for her drink, muttering, ‘And if that man tries to go public, I’ll make sure he publicly regrets it.’
That pulls a real laugh out of me. ‘You’d terrify him.’
‘Exactly,’ she deadpans.
The laughter in the room fades. ‘I just…’ I twist the straw in my glass. ‘I’m scared I’ll lose everything. Lucas, the book, this version of me that finally feels right.’
Tess’s gaze softens. ‘You haven’t told him yet.’
I shake my head. ‘No.’
Rey leans in. ‘What’s holding you back?’
‘If I say it out loud, it’s real. And then I have to choose between the girl who hides behind a pen name and the one who’s falling for him.’
Marley tips her head. ‘Does Lola not exist?’
‘She’s braver. Louder. She says what I’m afraid to say. But she doesn’t feel… not real.’
‘Then she is you,’ Tess remarks. ‘Just the part that got a microphone.’
I take a shaky breath. ‘There was a moment at my place. He saw the photo of us with Carol from the release party. He looked at it like he knew. I panicked and changed the subject. I keep doing that.’
Rey nods. ‘You don’t owe the internet anything, but you do owe the man you’re choosing. He’s earned honesty.’
My throat tightens. ‘And if I lose him?’
Rey’s answer is steel. ‘Then he wasn’t yours to keep. You don’t hold on to the right person with half-truths. You show up whole and let him choose. If he walks, we deal. If he stays, it’s real.’
‘Wow,’ Marley murmurs. ‘Can we embroider that on a throw pillow?’
Rey deadpans, ‘Sure. In Comic Sans.’
Tess squeezes my wrist. ‘Tell him soon. Before it becomes a bigger thing than it needs to be.’
Marley lifts her glass. ‘To soft launches and hard truths.’
Rey smirks. ‘To Lucas not being a tool.’
Tess smiles. ‘To our girl being brave.’
Our glasses clink together, the sound small and bright. I'm surrounded by laughter, mossy light, and people who see all of me. I wonder if being brave is just telling the truth before it hurts to hide it.
Like a confession, I add, ‘I slept with Lucas.’
Marley makes a noise somewhere between a squeak and a gasp. ‘Wait. What? When? Where? Please tell me there was music!’
Tess chokes on her drink. ‘Please tell me it wasn’t in the bookstore. That feels sacrilegious.’
I hesitate, chewing on the inside of my cheek. ‘It was intense. OMG…the things that man can do with his,’ I can feel my cheeks burning. ‘Oh boy.’
Marley practically throws herself across the cushions. ‘OH. MY. GOD.’
‘And the things he says,’ I bury my face in my hands with a groan. ‘It’s like he’s reading lines from a book. Calling me his and telling me how good I look coming apart for him. I, God, I melted.’
Rey fans herself with a coaster. ‘Okay, woah. Does he have a brother?’
Tess smirks, but her voice is soft. ‘And you let him see you? All of you?’
I nod slowly. ‘But more than that. I felt like I didn’t have to hide any part of myself. I’ve never had that before.’
Marley reaches for her glass, eyes still wide. ‘I need a cigarette and I didn’t even experience it.’
I laugh, still breathless from the memory. ‘It scares me how good it felt and how easy it was to let go.’
Tess gives me that steady look. ‘You trust him.’
I exhale. ‘Yeah, and that’s what terrifies me.’
Marley sets her drink down with a grin. ‘Mission accomplished, by the way.’
Tess narrows her eyes. ‘Bookstore takeover?’
Marley nods, looking far too pleased with herself. ‘He didn’t stand a chance.’
She goes on to tell us about her takeover of Inkwell & Ivy’s socials, how Lucas half-protested, half-offered her tea, and how Jasper somehow ended up modelling beside the trade shelf. By the end of it, Rey’s wheezing with laughter and I’m wiping a tear from my eye.
Rey smirks. ‘Poor Lucas. He’s probably still recovering from your Canva board.’
‘He looked terrified but intrigued,’ Marley winks. ‘My favourite kind of man.’
Tess lifts her glass. ‘To strategic content, reluctant book boys, and the return of the algorithm gods.’
We clink our glasses, laughter spilling across the table, warm and easy.
‘Speaking of gods,’ Marley says, chin tilting towards the bar. ‘The owner? Literal thirst trap. Tall, London accent, dark hair pushed back like he did it with one hand. Black tee, sleeves rolled, forearms for days. Tattoos. Stubble that says, “didn’t try” and a smile that blows you away.’
Tess raises a brow. ‘You should offer to do his social media. For research, obviously.’
We lose it completely.
Journal Entry - Wednesday 17th of September
There’s something about walking home in golden light that makes everything seem a little more possible. I told them, I said the words, and no one flinched.
That’s what love looks like, I think. Not being fixed, just being held in the truth. I’m still scared to tell him, but I think I will.
Soon, maybe tomorrow.
xx