Chapter 16
Cassie
“Get up, Cassowary.” The Aviarist nudged her with his foot as the medical team entered the room behind him. “I expect better of you. Manage your clients. I’d rather not replace valuable merchandise.”
“I am so sorry. Let me try again!” Cassie’s voice pitched high with enthusiasm while she struggled to breathe through what must be cracked ribs.
Maybe a broken nose. She wasn’t quite sure.
The client had been angry. He was new and clearly not stable enough to be in a pain clinic.
She had miscalculated. The Aviarist was right to be upset.
She should have been more cautious with a new client.
The Aviarist made a disgusted noise. “Get her to the medical room. Take her off service for the next two weeks. I’ll see if Hawk can handle this client instead.
” Cassie watched the patent leather of his shoes as he walked away.
She knew she’d be punished for her failure as soon as she was well enough to take it.
When Cassie woke, sunlight flooded her eyes. She tried to lift her hand to cover them, but everything felt weighted down. Eleri sat next to her bedside, reading something on her datapad. She smiled sadly when she caught Cassie’s glance.
“Hey, how are you feeling? Don’t try any big motions just yet. We have you on an IV drip of a few different painkillers plus a nutritional supplement.”
Cassie placed a hand on her pounding forehead.
Everything seemed like it was covered in a thin veil of fog.
She blinked away the disorientation and tried to ask the obvious things.
She made a few hand signs, but knew Eleri only recognized a few of them.
What happened? Where’s ?rim? How long was I asleep?
Despite her flurry of questions, Cassie suspected none of them would be answered.
“I’m sorry, I can’t read your signs very well yet.” Eleri frowned apologetically. “I’ll keep practicing, but let me try to give you all the important information that I can for now.” Eleri glanced over to where Aglao was attending to another patient before refocusing her attention on Cassie.
“Please know we’ve done everything we could. You were in bad shape by the time ?rim was able to get you to us.”
Cassie nodded, her chest tightening. She was used to bad news.
What was worse was the not knowing. The pit in her stomach at the unknown behind the door.
It was why she always preferred familiar clients to new faces, even if they were all equally horrible.
Eleri smoothed her hands over the blanket at the foot of Cassie’s bed before continuing.
“The voicelock activated a self-destruct protocol. It burned through your vocal cords almost entirely. We had to focus on trying to save your esophagus, so you’d still be able to eat and drink, but it’s going to be a long road of recovery.
” Eleri stared down at her hands. “I’m so sorry, Cassie.
I told ?rim to give you some space, but if you want to see him, I can have him come back.
Is there anyone else who might be able to help you with your care?
Obviously, you’re welcome to stay in the clinic as long as you need, but… ” Eleri trailed off.
Cassie stared at the wall. There were no words.
Her throat was hollow. She tried to summon up a single, ‘I’m so grateful!
’, but nothing would come out. Her fingers reached up for the familiar pulse of the voicelock, but she found only a thick layer of bandages covering blunt, warped metal. Cassie’s eyes began to burn.
No. Not with Eleri sitting right there. Everything was hazing in grey and red. The healer stood up with a sigh. “Let me go get your next nutritional pack, ok? I’ll be back in a few minutes. Think about it. Otherwise, I’ll have S’samph ask around to see if anyone would be willing to help you out.”
Somehow, Cassie managed a nod. Eleri retreated behind the curtain, leaving her alone.
There was nothing. She had nothing. She started to scratch.
She couldn’t think of anything else to do.
She needed something, anything, before her world dissolved into shades of gray and red.
Her heart raced away from her as she dug the crescents of her nails hard into her forearms, hard enough to draw blood.
The pain was familiar, and familiar was comforting.
Machines beeped and whined around her. Even they knew something was terribly, terribly wrong. But she couldn’t stop.
Nail grooves turned to trenches. She still couldn’t feel anything. The curtain opened. Eleri dropped what she was holding.
“Oh. Oh no. Cassie.” Eleri’s eyes had filled with tears, and Cassie hated them.
She hated the pity. She hated the sadness on her behalf.
And most of all, she hated that Eleri was taking away the only thing she had left.
Her pain was hers. How dare Eleri try to tell her she couldn’t have it?
Eleri hurried over and held Cassie’s hands still. “Aglao! We need bandages in here.”
They sat frozen in a battle of wills with Eleri’s hand gripped tightly around Cassie’s wrists while unwelcome tears streamed down Cassie’s face, and the monitors voiced their disapproval. But what else was she supposed to do? Even crying was silent now. There was no sound to her anguish.
Aglao appeared eventually with supplies. The zoa’s body glowed a deep purple as they bandaged Cassie’s damaged arms. Cassie disappeared. Eventually, when she resurfaced, Eleri was still there. Sitting on the end of her bed.
“Can we find something to distract you?” Eleri finally asked. “Should I get your datapad?”
Cassie shook her head. She just wanted to be alone.
Eleri reminded her of Kestrel, who had been Cassie’s flock leader before she graduated to leading her own group of fledglings.
But Kestrel had been sold to an Itarian businessman, and Cassie had never seen her again.
Like Eleri, she never knew when to let up.
She always wanted to help, but sometimes things were beyond help.
“Okay, I’ll be right back to check on you again.
I have to go hand off some medication to another patient.
” Eleri gently pressed Cassie’s hands into the thin mattress of the cot.
Cassie stared at nothing, her eyes unfocused.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.
When Eleri was gone, she pulled the thin sheets over her head and tucked herself into a ball, bringing her knees under her chin.
Her forearms pressed against her thighs, speckles of blood seeping through the bandages.
There would be no miracle anymore. She was lucky to be alive.
She was unlucky to be alive. Cassie wept until her knees tasted of iron.