Chapter 18
Cassie
I’m here to visit Rhea. Cassie told the matron. She knew the older woman could understand her hand signs even if she liked to pretend she couldn’t. She’d been a passera herself when she was younger. She stood there, glaring down the matron until the woman finally answered.
“Rhea is on restricted visitation access.”
She’s one of my fledglings. I should be able to see her.
“The Aviarist doesn’t want anyone seeing her for now.”
I just want to make sure she’s ok.
“Come back later, Cassowary. You’re not getting in right now.” The matron crossed her arms, and Cassie debated arguing further but knew it would do no good. She let her arms fall to her side as she walked back to her wing alone. Rhea’s fate wasn’t hers to know for now.
Cassie woke in searing pain. Her whole body felt like it was on fire with a hot iron pressed to her throat.
There was no scream. Only sweat as she gripped the railings of her cot and fumbled around for the button Eleri had given her for pain relief.
The curtain around her bed shifted open, but instead of Eleri, the senior healer Aglao had come to visit.
“How are you this morning, Cassie?”
Cassie stared at them. What could she say?
Her arms felt far too heavy to try to use her datapad.
Her hand signs were unreadable to everyone except maybe ?rim, and he was gone.
After everything, he wasn’t here. She wondered if he had been injured as well by the electricity that had burned through her.
Aglao’s body changed from their usual opaque white-blue to a deep shade of orange. “I apologize for asking an open-ended question. Are you in pain?”
Cassie slowly nodded. Aglao made a note on their datapad. “Can you use your fingers to indicate the severity of the pain? One finger is no pain, and twelve, apologies you only have ten, ten would be unbearable pain.”
She held up eight shaking fingers. She’d been in worse pain. This was bad, but not the worst she’d experienced. Aglao’s colors muted. “Are you using your pain medication?”
Cassie nodded.
“Recently?”
She nodded again. Aglao input something else into their datapad. “I will make a note of the dosage and recheck your pain in half a standard hour. You have visitors if you are up for seeing them.”
?rim? Cassie asked with her hands.
“I apologize. I have not taken the time to learn your hand signs. I think I would also struggle to replicate them with my appendages.” Aglao lifted their tentacles. “Are you asking after someone specific?
Cassie nodded.
“?rim, perhaps?”
Cassie nodded again.
“Healer Eleri suggested seeing him right now might not be best for your mental health. I am inclined to agree with her on this matter. We can revisit in a few days.”
Cassie’s mouth pinched with frustration. There was nothing to say in her own defense. Only pain. She tucked her knees tightly into her chest and tried to hide the tears spilling out.
“Should I tell the visitors to return later?” Cassie shook her head. She didn’t want to be alone right now. The urge to scratch herself free of the gray and red haze was already burning through her fingers.
“I’ll send Ailairi in first. He tried to bring a very angry pichari with him, but unfortunately, we do not allow animals in the clinic. Short visits today only, I told everyone they have ten standard minutes each.”
The image of Kalai strutting into the clinic like she owned the place almost made Cassie laugh, but the amusement quickly dissipated as Aglao opened the curtain wide around her bed. Ailairi held a fan of feathers in his hands tied off with a ribbon of twine.
“Couldn’t bring Kalai in herself, so these are the next best thing. Some of her feathers I’ve been collecting.” He placed the fan of feathers on the end of the bed. “You take care of yourself, you hear? And if that blue fellow is bothering you, I’ll take care of him.”
Cassie nodded. She wished she had the words to defend ?rim, but there was nothing for her to say.
She appreciated Ailairi’s gesture all the same.
He left shortly after with a quick whistle.
The younglings came next. Grora brought her deck of cards, and Cassie sat patiently while the urtazi spawn chattered happily about the new set of generals she’d purchased for Galactic Conquerors.
Grumm waited for his sister, pretending he wasn’t excited by the conversation about Galactic Conquerors.
“Can we play together when I come back?” Grora asked as her eggmother shuffled her out with an apologetic thrum.
The question made Cassie smile as she waved farewell.
She reached for the feathers, holding them close.
She missed the sunshine and the pichari but also recognized it would be a long time before she was well enough to visit them again.
Mostly, though, she missed ?rim. She missed their reading lessons and conversations.
She missed having someone who could understand her when she talked.
After her visitors cleared from the room, Eleri and S’samph came to her bedside. S’samph held a bouquet of flowers and glanced down at the floor awkwardly. He handed them to her.
“Eleri said this is the appropriate gift for someone who is healing. Also, I should not ask you any questions that require open answers.”
Cassie hid her laughter as she accepted the flowers from S’samph.
Eleri sighed. “How are you feeling today, Cassie? Sorry, I wasn’t around this morning.
I had some things to take care of.” She was wearing a pale green dress with delicate shoes to match.
Cassie realized she’d never seen Eleri without her medical uniform.
I’m tired. Cassie said, leaning back against the pillows. The heavy dose of pain medication was making her progressively woozier. When can I see ?rim?
Eleri winced. She didn’t know many of Cassie’s hand signs, but Cassie was certain she recognized ?rim’s name. “Let’s talk about it later, ok? I have a surprise for you, something I hope will cheer you up.”
A frown pulled her lips downward at the dismissal of her question. She was used to being told no, but she couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let her see him. Cassie accepted the datapad Eleri handed her, noting the presence of extensive wiring.
“Try not to move it too much. K’kaen helped me get it hooked up.”
A call patched through. Cassie watched as the incoming holo came into focus. Rhea smiled back at her.
What the fuck happened to you? Rhea was still smiling, but her eyes were wide behind her curtain of blue bangs.
Rhea. Cassie suppressed her quickly rising tears.
Nice to see you too. Even though you look like death.
Cassie managed a painful laugh. Someone tried to disable my voicelock.
Holy shit. Better you than me. I’ve been making my host family crazy repeating the same three things over and over again.
You shouldn’t do that, you know.
I’m literally here because I was one year short of legal adulthood. It’s not like Swift or Piper. They’re thrilled to have families.
I know. Cassie swallowed hard, remembering Swift’s enthusiasm. What are you going to do after you turn twenty?
Get the fuck out of here, that’s for sure. Of course, my hosts live in the middle of nowhere. I want to go to the capital in Kora Kora. Get a job. Kiss people. Whatever. I just want to try things.
That sounds really nice.
No, it doesn’t. You’d hate it. I know you. You’re happy in the quiet.
Cassie laughed again through her tears. I’ll come visit you. When you’re kissing people or working. Just tell me where you are. I’ll come find you.
Good. You find someone to kiss too, ok? I’m outta time. These fucking things eat so many credits. Let’s talk soon.
Ok.
The holo vanished from the datapad. Cassie slumped back against the thin pillows of the bed in the clinic. Her fingers rubbed the soft texture of Kalai’s feathers as she stared back at her reflection in the dark datapad.