Chapter 24
Cassie
“And why can’t I touch you, pretty bird? I’ve paid well for your services, haven’t I?” Prima Erum brought her webbed hand higher up Cassie’s thigh. Cassie pulled herself away.
“This service is not available.” She straightened her skirt and took a seat in her observing chair, clamping her fingertips against the panic button on the underside.
“Oh, why not? I won’t tell if you don’t.
You passeri are all no fun.” Prima Erum reached for her first dose of iridescence.
“I could even take you away from here if you pleased me. Wouldn’t you like that?
” The prima advanced again, grabbing Cassie’s free hand and pinning it against the wall.
“Let’s see what’s so special about Raúl’s little pets.
I’m sure you have a cunt just like any human female. ”
Cassie flinched. She would be punished. But she pressed the panic button anyway. The doors flew open, and the prima released Cassie’s arm.
“Do you intend to buy Cassowary’s license?”
“For a female like her? I wouldn’t pay your exorbitant prices, Raúl. Offer me something better.”
“You’ve overstayed your welcome, Prima.”
“Now, this is a misunderstanding. Tell him what really happened here, Cassowary.” The urtazi prima’s throat engorged in a warning.
Cassie fled through the open door.
After almost two weeks living with ?rim, Cassie settled into a routine.
Most of their time was spent on her medical care, but in the small, quiet moments between, she liked to watch him work on his wire sculptures.
She also continued practicing her letters.
Words and phrases had turned to complete sentences.
The process of writing was time-consuming compared to speaking, but at least it offered an outlet for her thoughts.
?rim gave her space, but she knew he was paying close attention.
It was little things, like how he left the lavatory light on at night so she wouldn’t trip, or the way he started storing the nutrition packs in the cold box because the smell of them at room temperature made her nauseous.
But he didn’t know about the nightmares.
Usually, it was the middle of the night when she woke, sweating and tangled in the wires keeping her alive.
?rim had offered her his bedroom, but she preferred to sleep in the nest of pillows and blankets she’d made for herself at the center of their shared living space.
It felt safer somehow, being covered on all sides.
She also liked to watch him work during the day.
Sometimes he tinkered with his wires and devices, other times he tried to explain the research he was doing to track the Aviarist’s movements.
But tonight, when Cassie tried to calm her heart, the machine monitoring her vital signs picked up on her unusually high pulse because it beeped.
She didn’t want to bother ?rim if he was sleeping.
The machine beeped again, more insistent this time.
Cassie got up from her pillow nest and tried to walk.
Sometimes movement helped her find her lungs after waking up breathless.
When she got close to his door, she was surprised to hear ?rim speaking softly in his room.
She didn’t know how to reset the device, and the beeping was going to make it impossible to go back to sleep.
He’d told her to open his door any time, so she plucked up her courage and cracked it slightly.
Whatever conversation he was involved in was sufficiently distracting because he didn’t seem to notice her slip inside, dressed only in a thin shirt with long sleeves and still attached to her wires and bags of fluid.
It was dark inside, the only source of light coming from her blinking medical devices and the screen he was using.
?rim made a gesture she’d never seen him do before, tapping the node on his shoulder with what seemed like irritation.
“I don’t even know how you found out about that. It’s not public knowledge.”
“I have some collaborators on Brasnia Prime. They were surprised to see an application from a teosian.” Cassie thought better of interrupting and tried to slip back out the way she’d come. This time ?rim noticed her, and apparently so did the person on the screen.
“Do you have a pet? How exotic. Where did you find it?” The other teosian leaned closer toward the screen, trying to get a better look.
Cassie froze. Did ?rim’s people keep humans as pets?
She realized she knew very little about teosians.
They’d never had a teosian visit the Aviary, so there was no opportunity to learn.
Is that what she was to him? A pet? It would explain a lot.
It would explain why he was taking care of her when he didn’t have to.
It would explain why he’d tried to help her read and help her with her voicelock. She was an idiot.
?rim’s voice pulled her out of her head. “Cassie’s not a pet. She is under my care. My housemate. I have to go, Sini. This conversation is finished.”
“Sokt, don’t tell me you’ve gone native. Excavators, are you fucking her? You can’t breed her, you know. Can you imagine the shame? A teosian fucking an organic.”
Cassie’s breath caught. She covered herself, hiding her body from view. ?rim snapped back loudly, saying something in a language she couldn’t understand. His hand clamped tight around the flared crystals on the back of his neck.
“Don’t call me again.” He ended the call before the female on the screen could say anything else.
After the screen went dark, ?rim turned to Cassie, who was suddenly conscious of the way her breasts were perking through her shirt.
It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was unfamiliar, another thing about her body she didn’t understand since she’d cleared the hormone blockers from her system.
“I’m sorry. I should have been paying more attention. I didn’t notice you came in. Sini was a work colleague on Teos. She is infuriating in the worst way. I’m sorry she called you a pet.”
Am I an embarrassment? Cassie asked.
“Sokt, Cassie no. Of course not. Most teosians don’t encounter other species.
We’re a bit of an insular group. Sexual relationships are seen as taboo on Teos.
Not that we have a sexual relationship…” he trailed off and started rubbing his wrist nodes.
“I’m sorry again about all the unpleasantness. Did something happen?”
Cassie didn’t miss the way he fumbled over talking about sexual relations with her.
Was the idea really so unpleasant to him?
She held up the beeping monitor. ?rim took it from her, his fingers brushing hers with the exchange.
He didn’t flinch. Didn’t indicate that her touch was shameful or repulsive.
“Ah. Should be an easy reset. What spiked your heart rate so high?” After turning off the beeping, he examined her, placing a hand on her chest to feel her heartbeat. “It’s back down now.”
Nightmare, she signed, trying to hide the blush that rose along her collarbone at his intimate contact.
“I don’t think I know that one.” He repeated the sign back to her, finally removing the weight of his hand from her chest.
Cassie tried again to explain with her hands. ?rim handed her his datapad. She wrote out the letters. N-I-T-E-M-A-R-E.
“Oh! A nightmare. They are frightening, yes? Are you well? I understand the concept, if not the technicalities.”
Cassie shivered in response, partially because she was only half-clothed, and partially because she tried to remember the fractured details of her dream.
Never had a nightmare?
“Teosians don’t sleep. Our bodies don’t require it, so as a result, we don’t dream either.”
Never?
“No, never. We regenerate through reseeding.” He pointed to his pool in the back corner of the room. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”
I’ll have trouble sleeping now.
“Does this happen often?”
Most nights.
?rim tapped his left elbow node. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I thought you needed to sleep.
He placed a hand on her hair. “You should have said something anyway. Can I help? I’ve read that physical contact can improve feelings of well-being in humans. Lower stress levels are supposed to promote better sleep.”
Physical contact? Cassie was surprised by his offer, given what she’d just heard but also worried her body might betray her.
She wasn’t at all sure what to do with the way she was feeling toward ?rim.
Did teosians even have romantic relationships at all?
Some species reproduced asexually. Others only nested once every several standard years.
But she needed to know. Physical contact, like what?
“I apologize. Have I made you uncomfortable? It was only my intention to be helpful. Humans don’t do well without sleep, and Eleri emphasized sleep was especially important for your healing process. Is there something you would rather do instead?”
He made it sound so simple. She still didn’t understand why he would be kind to her without wanting something in return. But she wanted it. Whatever he was offering, she wanted to pretend she understood.
I want to try to go back to sleep.
“Should I help?” His voice had dropped in resonance, quiet enough that she could have imagined it. Cassie took his hand and led him back to her pillow nest. She climbed in first, and he stood there bare-chested in his dark leggings with one thumb on his wrist nodes.
Please help. She moved to make space for him beside her, trying her best to move all the cables and equipment out of the way. ?rim waited for a long moment before sliding down next to her.
He could probably see her blush in the dark if she was facing him. It was a disadvantage she’d never considered.
“I’m not very warm, I apologize.” He pulled one of her blankets over them both. “I don’t want you to get cold.”
Not cold. Finding she felt the opposite, almost too hot next to him.
?rim draped an arm across her shoulders, tucking her body against his.
The weight of him around her had a strangely calming effect.
He wasn’t warm, but he was solid, and having him there made sleeping feel safer than it had since she’d left the Aviary.
“Sleep well, Cassie.” His fingers brushed over her hair as he murmured softly against the top of her head. Cassie drifted and found herself dreaming of nothing at all.