Chapter Eighteen – Alicia
I Won’t Call You Darling
I squeezed my eyes tightly before blinking to clear the sleep from them. It didn’t look too dark, thank goodness, so I couldn’t have slept for too long.
Although I had told Bella to wake me up.
I propped myself up on my elbow and yawned. What was that box on the table? And who’d put this blanket on me? What was—
“Oh, you’re finally awake.”
I screamed, jolting around to look at the owner of the voice. My elbow slipped in my panic, and the loss of my balance sent me tumbling to the floor with the blanket wrapped around me. “What the—”
“I must say, of all the greetings you could have offered me, this is by far the most amusing one.”
Ugh.
It was him.
“What are you doing coming in here while I was sleeping? Are you a pervert?” I untangled myself from the blanket and hauled myself to my feet. “And that’s my desk!”
Kalon’s lips pulled into a small smirk that made his purple-gold eyes spark with amusement. “I’m aware. I’m borrowing it.”
“But… my work!” I reached out a hand before stopping. “My system,” I whimpered.
“System? You called that mess a system?” He raised his dark eyebrows. “That was chaos.”
“It was organised chaos,” I mumbled. “I knew where everything was.”
“If you say so.” The bastard leant back in my chair and linked his fingers. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Ahem.
Right.
I did need to greet him properly.
I pulled out my skirt and curtseyed. “Welcome back to the castle, Your Highness.”
“Thank you. Now…” He tapped his cheek.
I stilled, mid-curtsey. “Excuse me?”
“Isn’t a kiss on the cheek how one greets their fiancé?”
“Then perhaps you should find a fiancé willing to greet you in such a manner,” I said flatly, straightening my spine. “Engaged or not, we’re little more than strangers, and I’m not in the habit of being intimate with strangers.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He stood up and walked around the desk. “Shall we get to know each other a little better then?”
I scratched beneath my ear, looking away. “Must we?”
“It will make for a much happier married life if we do.” Kalon stopped in front of me, and the amusement in his purple eyes made the gold flecks somehow shine brighter. “Shall we try it?”
“Maybe another time.” I patted his arm and walked past him. “What did you do to my work?”
“I organised it. You can thank me later.” He sat on the couch I’d just been sleeping on and got comfortable, resting his arm across the back of it. His black hair swept down in front of his eyes, and there was just enough buttons undone on his white shirt that I could peek at his toned physique.
There was definitely a six-pack under there. Nobody who had shoulders and pecs like his had a beer belly.
Goddamn it, why was he so handsome?
“I doubt it, Your Highness,” I replied, moving his work out of my way.
“Your Highness? There’s no need for such formalities between us, Alicia. You’re my fiancée.”
So you keep saying.
“Then how should I address you?”
He pursed his lips in thought. “Kalon will do.”
“If you insist.”
“You could also go for husband, honey, darling, lover—”
“I think your name will suit me just fine, thank you,” I said sharply.
Did this man just ask me to call him honey? And darling? And lover?
This man?
Grand Duke Kalon Stein?
The most feared man on the continent?
What a strange turn of events.
I peered across the room at him and rested my chin on my hand. “What were you doing in here anyway? Were you watching me sleep? Should I be alarmed about it being a fetish of yours?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Hayes and Ark briefed me on what I needed to know, and I merely wished to greet my darling.”
I wrinkled up my nose. “Don’t ever say that again.”
His lips tugged to one side. “Why? Don’t you like it, honey?”
“Please leave. If you don’t, I fear I may ask you to kill me to put me out of my misery.”
He laughed, throwing his head back, and I froze.
He… could laugh? And so prettily, too?
“What? Are you surprised that I can laugh?”
“A little bit,” I admitted. “The last time we met, you threatened to kidnap me or kill me, so forgive me for having a slightly warped impression of you.”
Kalon tilted his head. “It’s not slightly warped. After all, I did successfully manage to kidnap you.”
“I’m not sure a father selling off his daughter can be referred to as kidnap. That’s more like trafficking, but feel free to call it whatever you wish.” I pulled my work back towards me and pulled out the treasury documents I was looking over earlier. “Would you li—”
“Is that what you think happened? That your father sold you to me?”
I peered over at him. His expression was dark, something that was exacerbated by the coldness in his gaze.
“Is that not what happened?” I asked, leaning forward on the desk and resting my chin on my hand.
“I informed him of my wish to marry someone else, and he told me it was impossible because of the trade deal on the table. He chose money and honour over what I wanted. That trade deal would not be happening without this engagement. How is that not the sale of a person?”
Kalon stared at me for a moment, then rubbed his chin. “I see. He really doesn’t tell you anything, does he?”
“Why would he? I’m little more than a pawn to that family.
I have a pure and powerful noble bloodline that’s now linked House Vermillion to the Imperial Family so my dear sister can find herself a better husband than she would have otherwise.
” I sat back and spread the sheets out in front of me, then reached for the little bell on my desk to call Bella back inside.
She didn’t appear.
“Bella?”
“I sent everyone away so you could sleep,” Kalon said. “Your lady-in-waiting told me the staff woke you up early this morning. I’ve told them to be quieter.”
“They’re only doing their jobs. But how am I supposed to get tea now?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red stone. “Like this.”
“Is that… a magic stone?”
“Yes. It’s imbued with magic to make it a communication device. This one is paired with the one Ark wears as a brooch. I merely activate it, and he knows to come.” He tucked it away again. “I suspect he’ll send one of your maids here.”
“Whoa.” I stared at his pocket. “That’s fascinating.”
“Would you like one?”
“One of what?”
“A communication stone. I need to meet with Aerwyna, so I can ask her to bring a pair with her when she comes here.”
I met his gaze. “But aren’t they expensive?”
“If you’re buying them, yes. However, the mages of Stein provide me with whatever tools I desire in return for their funding.” He paused. “I’m the one who has the stones anyway.”
Huh.
That was true.
He owned all the mines in Stein. It wasn’t like he had to pay for the stones in the first place.
“That makes sense.” I hesitated. “Then, yes, thank you. I’ll graciously accept your offer.”
His lips twitched into a smile.
Bella knocked on the door then pushed it open, pausing to greet us both. “Ark said you needed me, my lady.”
“Yes, would you bring some tea?”
“Of course, my lady.”
“Just enough for Alicia,” Kalon said, standing as she nodded and left. “I’ve heard about your work, so I’ll leave you to it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why? You were so offended at my presence not long ago. Have you changed your mind and would like me to stay instead?”
“I think we’ve gotten to know each other quite enough for today, thank you.”
He chuckled. “I do have a request.”
“Go on.”
“I’d like for us to have to have dinner together every night.”
Was that it?
“Very well,” I replied. “That’s reasonable.”
“I’m glad you think so. We’ll start tomorrow.” He buttoned his jacket and picked up the box of his stuff. “Make sure to finish your work at a decent time. It won’t do for my fiancée to overwork herself.”
Hmm. He was being quite caring. “I shall keep it in mind.”
***
I flopped back onto my bed and stared at the canopy above it.
I was exhausted. So exhausted that I wasn’t sure I could even fall asleep right now.
Everything I knew—no, everything I thought I knew, was wrong. The Kalon I’d spoken to today was nothing like the Kalon in the book. That version of him was cold to Alicia, and he certainly never would have sought her out for something as simple as a greeting.
Nor did he give her a magic stone.
Or ask her to eat dinner.
Or laugh.
In fact, the version I knew would have gone out of his way to avoid all those things.
I knew my actions had changed things in this world, but how was it possible that a whole person had changed to such an extent? His demeanour was completely different, even when compared to the ball.
Then again, even our initial meeting had proceeded differently. In the book, Alicia had been the one to approach Kalon, and eagerly, too.
In this timeline, he’d approached me, and I’d been anything but interested.
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. What was so different now? Was it really just that the mere existence of my soul was enough to completely uproot the entire storyline?
Was it even truly a storyline anymore?
Maybe I had to remind myself that this wasn’t truly a fictional world. After all, the people here were real—they laughed, they cried, they got hurt. They died.
I might have first known it as a fictional place, but that didn’t mean it was any less real right now.
So, what would happen now?
In this real and ever-changing world, it stood to reason that the storyline I was so accustomed to wasn’t going to come to pass. Even if it did, it was unlikely to be in the way that I expected, a bit like this engagement to Kalon.
It’d happened as it was meant to, but the events leading up to it changed.
Maybe the big events in the plot would stay the same, but how they happened would be different.
I couldn’t get drawn in by Kalon, even if he was far more charming than I’d ever believed he could be.
That was the problem.
He was charming.
For a moment in my office today, I’d felt like me. Not the Lady Alicia Vermillion version of me, but Allie. As we’d gone back and forth with our light banter, I’d almost forgotten that he was royalty, and I was nobility.
I’d just felt… comfortable.
It was a tremendously dangerous feeling. If my death was linked to marrying Kalon, then the last thing I needed was to feel any kind of comfort in being around him.
However, I still had to survive to the autumn ball for Lillia’s debut. I’d been determined not to attend, but I needed to see for myself if he would fall in love with her at first sight.
If he did, I would continue with my original plan. In that case, getting along with him well would only be beneficial to me, and hadn’t I planned that anyway? To delay the wedding while becoming his friend?
But what if he didn’t fall in love with her?
I buried myself under the covers and tucked them up under my chin.
Indeed—what if he didn’t fall for Lillia at first sight? Then what?
I yanked the sheets over my head so I was cocooned in them. I couldn’t guarantee that Kalon would fall for Lillia, not now so many things had changed from what I knew. Was it okay for me to think that it was a possibility?
Could I act on the assumption that he’d fall for her and prepare for that outcome, but still hold onto the idea that he may not?
After all, I liked it here. I hadn’t been outside the castle yet, but inside the walls, I was… I didn’t know if happy was the right word to use, but I didn’t hate it. I didn’t really want to run away from here.
The food was good, and the kitchen maids always snuck me an extra snack when one of the maids brought me afternoon tea.
The household staff were kind and thoughtful, and I was slowly learning more about my new home every time we spoke.
Despite the rocky start, the knights had warmed to me, and I enjoyed working with Sir Hayes on laying the foundations for the monster attack relief fund.
Even Bella and Annie had settled in well, and Annie looked like all the stress she’d carried around in the capital had lifted.
Was it foolish of me to hope that perhaps I could stay here?
Yes. It was.
It was a dangerous way of thinking. Wanting to stay here was what had led Original Alicia to her downfall, after all, but I wasn’t a mean person. Even if by some miracle I fell in love with Kalon, I was the kind of person who would give up on my happiness for the people I cared about.
If I fell for him and he fell for Lillia, I’d let him go.
It was easy to say, I know, but the alternative was to die.
Besides, love wasn’t the only way to obtain happiness. My goal in this life was to find happiness as Alicia Vermillion, and happiness always came with a little heartbreak.
I sighed and popped my head back out of the covers.
Maybe I would just have to wing it.