Chapter Thirty-Seven – Alicia
The Original Alicia
I was back at Stein Castle.
No, my body wasn’t.
This was… a memory.
But it wasn’t mine. Not in this life.
Stein Castle wasn’t this lively. Endless streams of people were running in and out of the castle gates—everyone from happy children to vendors with their carts and carriages being pulled by horses.
Laughter rang out through the air as both nobles and commoners mixed together, and there was a pang in my heart at the sight.
This was familiar.
This… was preparations for Kalon’s birthday party.
How did I know that? We hadn’t spent a birthday together.
My viewpoint changed from the front of the castle to a room I vaguely recognised as Kalon’s office. He sat in his place behind the desk, just as handsome as he was now, but perhaps another couple of years older.
“Your Highness!” The office door burst open, and a frazzled Sir Hayes darted into the room. “The Crown Princess won’t stay in bed!”
The who now?
“Stop fussing, Hayes,” my own voice said. “I haven’t thrown up today, and I need to stretch my legs.”
Alicia appeared in the doorway, wearing a dress that flowed gently over a small baby bump.
Oh, God.
I was pregnant in this timeline.
And… the Crown Princess?
What kind of hinky dinky bullshit had happened here?
“B-but, Your Highness!” Hayes held up his hands. “I told you I’d get Crown Prince Kalon, and he would carry you!”
“No, you offered to carry me.”
Kalon glared at Sir Hayes. “I see you don’t need your hands anymore, Hayes.”
Sir Hayes sighed, his shoulders drooping. “The doctor said she needs to rest.”
“I cannot spend every waking moment in my bed. That’s not good for us, either.” Alicia smoothed her hand over her stomach as she sat down. “I promise I’ll go back to bed soon.”
“She’ll be perfectly fine in here with me, Hayes,” Kalon reassured him. “Let her sit for a while, especially if she’s not feeling sick. It’s the first day in a while.”
“But Rina will be looking for her when she’s done leading training.” Sir Hayes pressed his fingers to his temples. “You know how she yells at me if she can’t find her.”
“Honestly, anyone would think Rina was in charge of the knightage these days. If you don’t want to be shouted at, then tell your wife where Allie is before she comes back on duty and finds her lady missing.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wife? Rina and Sir Hayes were married in this timeline?
Plot twist!
Sir Hayes sighed. “Yes, sir. I’ll be off, then.”
Alicia beamed at him. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell Rina it was all my fault. She won’t be mad.”
“I’m afraid it’s your world and we’re all just living in it, Your Highness.” He sighed on his way out.
The door clicked shut, and Kalon peered over the desk at Alicia, smiling in a way I’d come to know so well. “You shouldn’t tease him. You know he’s only looking out for you.”
“Speak for yourself. You tease him all the time.”
“He should know better than to listen to idle threats of me cutting off his hands.”
“Indeed. Who would do your paperwork when you’re slacking off if he didn’t have hands?”
“Exactly. Besides, he’ll need them to look after Stein as the duke once we move to the palace full-time.” Kalon grinned, getting up and walking around the desk to Alicia. “Come and sit with me on the sofa.”
“I didn’t come here to distract you from your work, you know.” She let him gently pull her to her feet and drop a soft kiss on her lips.
“It’s only a short break.” He pulled her down onto the sofa next to him and held her close, laying one hand on her rounded stomach. “Are you sure you’re feeling well?”
She nodded and touched his face. “I am. I just wanted to see you. I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” He nuzzled in close to her and opened his mouth to speak, but the scene before me changed again.
A garden.
It was one of the outer gardens in the castle, and I knew it was one that was used for outdoor gatherings. The occasion was Kalon’s birthday, as I’d suspected, and there were so many people here.
And Kalon was smiling.
My heart swelled at the sight of people I knew and cared deeply for having so much fun. From what I could tell, all these scenes appear to have happened over a period of a couple of days, and they were all happy.
Why was God showing me this?
Was this really my past life?
Was I really Alicia? And if so, who had been in this body before me? What had happened to my soul?
“Bella, help me up,” Alicia said, reaching for her.
“Are you all right, Allie?” Kalon immediately turned to her. “Do you need help?”
Allie.
He called her Allie.
Alicia laughed, touching his face. “I have a slight headache, that’s all. I’ll just be inside where it’s quiet for a little while, okay?”
The scene scooted forwards to Alicia resting on a couch in one of the sitting rooms and showed me Bella saying she’d get some tea and some of the nausea medicine the physician had left here. A few minutes passed before Rina opened the door.
“Your Highness, I have the tea here.” Rina carried the tray inside and set it down. “The maid gave it to me outside.”
“The maid? I thought Bella was making it,” Alicia said, slowly sitting up.
“She said Bella asked her while she was on the way to fetch your medicine.”
“Oh, right. Would you pour it for me, Rina?”
“Of course, Princess.”
“Ugh, you know that still sounds weird. It’s only been a few weeks since Kalon became Crown Prince.”
Rina smiled as she poured the tea. “I suppose you’ll have to get used to it. You’ll be the Empress one day.”
“I never signed up for that, you know,” Alicia grumbled, taking the teacup. “In fact, I went out of my way to avoid it. That silly father-in-law of mine got his own way in the end.”
“The Emperor loves you dearly, Princess.”
“Stop calling me that.” Alicia sipped. “I’ll be fine until Bella returns, so you can wait outside.”
Rina bowed her head and disappeared, and Alicia sighed happily and continued drinking her tea.
“Goodness, I’m exhausted.” She put the teacup down and leant back on the couch, closing her eyes. She rested her hand on her swollen stomach, gently rubbing it, until her hand stilled and fell to her thighs.
Her entire body went limp before my eyes, with her head lolling to the side before she slumped to the side.
No.
No, no, no.
Was I witnessing my own past death right now?
God, you cruel bastard! How could you?
The door opened, and Bella stepped inside with a tea tray. “Well, Your Highness, I—” Bella looked up, and an expression of pure horror etched itself across her features. “Allie!”
Her raw scream ripped through the room, and chaos erupted as Rina and everyone else nearby rushed into the room. I was merely a viewer to the heartbreak, but there was a real ache I felt from somewhere I couldn’t pinpoint.
It was Kalon rushing in that broke me.
He collapsed on the floor next to her and grabbed her, pulling her into him. “Allie, Allie, wake up. No, no, Allie.”
He touched her face, her arms, her hands. He poked and prodded, grabbed and squeezed, even hitting her cheeks, desperately trying to get a response from her.
But none came.
She was dead.
No matter how hard he tried, she would never reply again.
“No. You have to wake up. For our baby. Our baby, Allie.” Kalon buried his face in her neck, cradling her against him, and his words were raw through his gut-wrenching sobs. “Please wake up. My Allie…”
***
Tears streamed down my face. There was a heaving pain in my chest that felt as though I’d just been through ten breakups, and I did the only thing I could do in that moment.
I curled into a ball on this stupid divine sun lounger and cried until my stomach burned and I was on the brink of dehydration.
“You lied,” I whispered to God, burying my face in my hands. “You said nothing could hurt me here.”
“I am truly sorry,” he said softly. “I know that must have been difficult for you.”
“How… why?” I peered through my fingers at him, then wiped the last of my tears. “Explain. Please.”
He sighed heavily and linked his fingers together, leaning forwards. “That’s an amalgamation of memories. Technically against my rules, but naturally, your memory of that moment ended when you died, so I borrowed a few bits and pieces from others who were there to show you the full picture.”
“How can you call that the full picture? There’s no resolution for my death.”
“You pulled yourself out of the memory sequence before it could complete.”
“Can you finish it? Tell me, don’t show me. Bloody hell, I can’t do that again.” I wrapped my arms around my stomach.
“After your death, Kalon went on a rampage to uncover the culprit behind it. The maid was snuck in under the guise of the party and lay in wait for her chance. It was easy for her, as you’d changed out some staff following Kalon’s rise to Crown Prince.”
“How did that happen?”
God paused. “Torin loved you in your first life, but you rejected him in favour of Kalon because you truly loved him. He never got over it, even after he married Lillia. He hated that Lillia also loved his brother, despite the fact their marriage was for show, and became hellbent on getting revenge against Kalon for stealing you from him.”
A prince with an inferiority complex. What a novel concept.
“He and the Empress conspired to usurp the throne as part of their plan, but you and Kalon were able to stop them before it could happen. Torin and Lillia were forced to divorce, stripped of their titles, and exiled to separate countries while the Empress was imprisoned. Somehow, she was able to contact Torin, and they used black magic to change Lillia’s appearance so she could sneak into the castle during the party. ”
I swallowed.
Wow.
“So, Lillia was the one to poison me?”