Chapter 33
thirty-three
. . .
Aten
We all congregate in the kitchen for supper. Even Kalan’s returned, tucking himself in the far corner and trying to keep himself as far away from Lyle as possible. At least that’s what it looks like.
A cauldron-sized pot of stew sits as the centrepiece of the table, candles dotted around the kitchen space to keep the light from falling too far into darkness, as we take turns to heap our bowls with the rich goodness.
Stars, it smells good. I can’t remember when the last proper meal was, beyond scraps or rations.
I serve Ever, passing hers and catching a shy smile from her before fixing my own.
Something has shifted between us, as if the damage we’ve been forced to inflict on each other has started to diminish, with each brush of a hand between us, not erasing, but healing.
And despite the bone-deep ease I’m feeling, there’s a sombre air in the room, thick with pain and hurt, so I keep my slice of happiness between me and Ever.
Conversation is sparse, as if nobody knows what to say or how to say it for fear of upsetting the quiet.
Calix sits next to Kyra, opposite us, and he refuses to look either of us in the eye.
Lyle’s at the head of the table, doing a good show of ignoring Kalan.
The left behind versus the survivors, divided by our experiences, united by the common goal we all had—to get Ever back.
My original plan, foolishly, had started by getting to Lyle’s.
Then, Kalan saw to the next step. Past getting Ever back, there is no direct plan for what to do next.
I want to get her home, but this is her home.
The revelations about Fenix, the Usher, and what Ever has learned and her vision, regardless of whether we believe it, all point our direction to Kirrasia.
After that, well, that’s for us to answer another day.
“When do you want to leave?” I whisper to Ever.
I might as well have shouted at the top of my lungs.
“Leave?” Lyle shoots daggers my way. “You’ve only just arrived.” She slams her bowl on the table, the silence now filled with questions.
“I know. And if it were just up to me, I wouldn’t. But there’s too much at stake. And—” Ever turns to look at Kalan, “I can’t risk you all. Fenix will be coming for me. We can’t stay here. And we must warn The Court.”
“You’ve done enough, Ever,” Lyle counters.
“Maybe. Maybe not. But I have my own questions to answer, and I’m not going to get those from hiding here. And I’d never risk putting any of you in Fenix’s path. We are defenceless against him, and I won’t allow that.” Ever trails off, that haunted look crossing her face again.
“You can all go back. Ever will be—” Lyle starts, but Ever cuts her off, her fire showing.
“I won’t be safe. Not if he comes here, nobody will. Believe me. If I had my way, you’d come with us, too, Lyle. And Kalan.” She looks across the table to him. “I don’t trust any of your lives to the Usher or Fenix. Not now.”
“Then we all leave. Together. A united force,” Calix offers, the first words he’s spoken, at least since he went off following the news of Crimson. “Ever is easier to protect in Kirrasia, especially now she doesn’t have her own magic.”
Seems Calix has picked up some information from another source. I look at Kyra, assuming she’s filled him in, as I hadn’t shared all the events of what happened with him. Not yet.
“You think all of us, including Kalan and Lyle, after deserting for weeks, are just going to walk back across into Kirrasia without being questioned?” Kyra chimes in. “Lyle, you were banished. Aten, too. Kalan, I don’t know why you left, but I’m guessing it wasn’t under amicable circumstances.”
“We can’t stay here,” Ever argues. “Banishment or not. This is more important.” Ever’s resolute, and we all wait for the next protest or argument.
Instead, they all come at once, everyone talking over one another, their voices all running together, drowning each other out. Until Ever stands, scraping the wooden legs of her chair against the flagstone floor and silencing everyone.
She looks around the table at us all. “The Usher isn’t going to stop.
He’s set on power—more power than any of us has seen.
I’ve felt that desire, the obsession that drives him, and I can’t sit back and watch him take that fight to Kirrasia.
Innocent lives will be lost. I’m sure of that.
And I won’t have any more blood on my hands.
” I don’t miss the quick flick of her gaze to Calix at her comment.
“My family started this, according to some. There’s been enough death at their expense, this war of sides, of Gods and Goddesses.
” She drops her head forward, as if gathering her strength.
“I might not believe that all of this is their fault, but I can do something to stop it. And maybe there’s a part I can play in finishing it.
I’m a Fifth, after all. Everyone’s been so scared of what I can do.
Maybe this is what I’m here for? To help protect Kirrasia? ”
She looks around the table at us all before lowering herself back into her seat.
“I go where you go.” We all look at Kalan, who nods at Ever. “But, wherever you go, the fight will follow.”
“Way to bring the positivity, Kalan,” Calix says.
“You’ve seen what he’s like. This is no easy decision for Ever,” Kalan counters.
“You don’t need to defend her. We’re all here for that,” Calix pushes back at him.
“So, that’s it. We walk back into Kirrasia. All of us?” Kyra asks.
“All of us. Lyle?” Ever asks, wanting her answer.
But Lyle just busies herself with her food.
She doesn’t answer. I pick up my spoon and follow suit, trying to diffuse the tension that now hangs around Lyle’s head.
A simple meal. An easy distraction for what’s to come.
My eyes don’t stray far from the small mouthfuls that Ever takes.
After the scrapes of our cutlery against the earthenware bowls have finished, Kyra returns to the conversation. “What’s the plan, then?” Her voice is timid, as if not wanting to unsettle any of us.
Calix starts to fill us all in on the plan. A Warriors plan.
Every step he proposes is the logical step forward. My mind runs over the outcomes of each and comes up with no better option.
He steps into the role of Warrior commander much more easily than I had thought, especially given the news I delivered to him. Or maybe because of it.
“I will head directly to my father. He was on our side before we left, and I owe him an explanation. Directly.”
A drum of silence beats in the air.
“I’ll come with you,” I offer. It’s not Calix that owes his family an explanation. It’s me. It will hurt to leave Ever’s side, but Kalan isn’t going to let anything happen to her.
Calix nods sharply. “We should cross into Kirrasia here.” He moves a few items and cups around on the table until I recognise the formation of the watch towers, stationed along the border, and he points to one of the westerly towers.
“You want to go directly to a tower? Raise the alarm?” I check.
“We aren’t going to sneak across without help this time. And we need the news to get to The Court as quickly as possible. It’s a risk, but it might pay off.” Calix talks out the problem.
“And if they detain us? Fight? Hell, attack?”
“They won’t. At the very least, they’ll let Kyra and Calix in. No way they’ll detain an Aster. They’ll be Warriors, and they won’t go against their commanding officer. You, Ever and me, that’s another story,” Kalan mumbles the last part.
“I need to go to the Maker. Ten, Calix, you go to the Orders. Tell them and explain.”
“You won’t get that far,” Kyra protests.
“I have to. She is the only one who might be able to explain any of this. To help me see, or…” Ever’s voice is pleading, and as her words fail, it slays me.
“The Order won’t grant you an audience, especially if Kamari has anything to say about it. We know she has her own designs on power.” At least that’s my assumption.
“Kamari?” Kyra asks, confused as to where this new obstacle has come from.
“She has been working with the Usher. I saw a vision, a memory of her on Fenix’s ship.
I believe she’s the one who turned Micah, and who has helped provide the access to the library,” Ever shares and fills us all in.
I knew Kamari was working against my father, but betraying the Orders, and siding against Aslendrix wasn’t what I thought her capable of.
“Who else are we going to be up against? Hmm?” Kyra levels her question at Ever, as if this is her fault.
“It’s not Ever’s fault!” Calix defends her again, frowning at Kyra.
“Of course not. It’s just a coincidence that everything has happened since she came into our lives.” She pivots to face off against Calix.
“And we’ve both lost family because of it. Did Ever hold the knife? No! Micah played his own part. We need to stick together, okay?” He brushes her cheek with his hand, a gesture that looks far from the acquaintances I left here a few weeks ago.
“Kyra, will you help? Please, I can’t do any of this without you. I never have. But if you do lay the blame at my door, then at least help me set it right. Help me get to the Maker without the Orders knowing about it.”
Kyra’s eyes hold to Ever’s, a torrent of emotions swimming between the two friends.
“If, and that’s a big ask, they let you in, then I will play my part,” Kyra lays out her offer.
“Thank you.”
“Lyle? Will you come with us, too?”
“I don’t know.”
Pause.
“No,” Ever stands and shakes her head. “That’s not good enough. Fight, Lyle. Fight for me like you did only a few months ago when you dragged me into all of this.” Ever’s words are harsh. “You fought for me then. You killed for me. Why are you suddenly cowering as if I mean nothing?”