Chapter 36
thirty-six
. . .
Aten
Iwould have given anything to spare Calix from this. Their grief smothered me, drowned me, and I had to fight to shield myself from their emotion, and even then, spears and spikes of their pain cut through like they were nothing but paper and smoke.
Neither of them showed it. To anyone else, they were model Warriors. General Aster was as steadfast and formidable as he always had been, but that didn’t camouflage what I could feel from him, his own personal battle raging under the surface, taking siege of his heart. It hit me wave after wave.
He asked no questions. Just listened. To me, first. Then Calix showed him the ring—Crimson’s ring. Finally, his eyes raised to mine, but still there were no questions.
She’d been killed defending me, and avenging Calix against those keeping Ever.
Calix knew more, but as I tried to give the General more details, Calix cut me off. It felt like a crime and a dishonest act not to spill every shred of reason behind his daughter’s death, but that wasn’t the way. Not yet, at least.
“Do you need to—”
“No. I will find the time. The right time to tell your mother.” Cetus steps away from both of us for a moment.
The air quietens, allowing me a reprieve.
“Why are there so many Warriors here? What happened?” Calix asks, and we all seem to welcome a breath at the change of subject.
General Aster doesn’t respond right away, and I’m tempted to push my magic towards him and risk swaying his decision to tell us what we are asking. Since stepping back over the border to Kirrasia, my power has finally settled, feeling right within my skin again.
The urge to cast my magic out to feel the connection with Ever is right there, but I pull it back—for now. I know that the tether is back in place, or at least repairing, but I want to test what Kalan had me practice. My Guard magic.
“There have been several questionable changes since you left. Factions have formed. The Orders are no longer united over the governing of Kirrasia.”
“What do you mean?” I push, shaking my head.
“The Chamber are divided. Kamari challenged your father. She is trying to influence his decisions. Portia is with her, but Darien resists. As a precaution, your father ordered all the Warriors here,” Cetus confirms.
“A precaution? What’s he anticipating? That’s not the strategic move.” It doesn’t make any sense.
“He’s not thinking that way, Aten.”
“Are you still in charge of his armies?” I check.
“Yes. There’s been no move to change that. Your father believes war is coming, and his paranoia, his insistence that a Fifth is the sign of the next war, has given Kamari her shot.”
I glance at Calix, who looks back at me, a grim scowl on his face. We knew the truth, but apparently, that hadn’t spread, and we didn’t understand why. Cetus, the custodians, and plenty of other people must have lived through the Battle of Decree.
“The Guards, at Kamari’s behest, have started rumours that since Orion didn’t pass you his magic through your Transference, that he’s now feeling his power dwindle and he’s going mad. His decision about moving the Warriors has only stoked that.”
“Fuck that. He’s right. There is a war coming,” Calix defends.
Cetus pauses and looks at his son. Then to me.
“Numbers? Positions? Strengths?”
No questions. No doubts. Just preparing for action.
“We know none of that. But it will be Kirrians, not Sunatora or Nehandun. Not what we’ve always assumed.”
“You remember the Battle of Decree, well, this is round two,” Calix confirms.
General Aster is a few years older than my father, so he definitely would remember. He’d know. But he doesn’t react the way I’d have thought. It’s as though the information slides over him.
“What about training? The custodians? Anyone else with influence here?” I ask, working on knowing who all the players in this will be. We’ll have allies, but certainly enemies.
“The trainees have been confined, even though the Warriors are on their doorstep. Rowan has taken leadership. Of who’s left, at least. No trials. No usual progression. But they’re safe.”
“There are only five left. Why wasn’t it abandoned?” Calix asks.
“It is a right of passage and tradition. Some still cling to that. Even now.”
“And the rest of the Court. Surely they know something is wrong?”
“They do. Kamari has painted it all as an omen from Aslendrix, cursing us with a Fifth. Everyone’s scared. Banishing you did Orion no favours. There are curfews, strict rules, and Warriors with Guards patrol.”
“If it’s really this bad, there’s no point in warning the Orders. They’ll use whatever we say against my father—against us—and I’ll be back in a cell.”
“So, new plan?” Calix asks.
Ever. We need to get to her, find out what the Maker said. But I need to see my mother first.
“Can you take me to my mother?”
“Celestine? She hasn’t been seen outside of the apartments for some time,” General Aster confirms.
“I need to see her. And then we need to find Ever and the others. We trust nobody else.”
“You can’t just walk into the apartments with no escort, Aten. You’ll be challenged.” Cetus stands firm.
“Then come with us. You’ll need every scrap of intel we have.”
It was a gamble. The man who met me in the mountains wouldn’t have agreed to such flagrant help of a banished Kirrian. But a lot has changed. I resist tipping his decision our way with my power. We need him as an ally, and I’m not ready to persuade him that way.
“Fine.” It sounds anything but an agreement. “But on my conditions only.”
“Done,” Calix answers for me.
Wrapping my wrists in chains to lead me to The Court is a logical next move. I was banished, after all. Escorted by Calix and his father, nobody questioned us, and we had a free pass to our destination.
As Cetus had said, as we entered and walked up the curved cobbled streets, it was almost unrecognisable as The Court I grew up in, but the Warriors we came across only saw their General.
We enter the halls and passageways to the apartments and my family’s rooms. No officer or guard is standing outside, unlike the previous visit.
“Be quick, Aten.” Cetus unlocks the shackles around my wrist and turns his back to me, and as he and Calix take up position at the door, I step inside.
The house is quiet. The air chills me as I enter. It doesn’t feel like anyone has been here for a long time.
I walk through the hall and into the main sitting room, and I find her in the same seat as she was in the previous time I visited with Ever.
There’s little change in her appearance, to my relief. But that vacant, faraway look remains in her eyes.
Guilt hits me all over again for leaving, for forsaking her after she was the one to stand for me. It’s an emotion I’m fast-growing used to carrying, and I promise, I’ll make amends, Aslendrix, you hear me?
“Hello, Mother.”
My greeting doesn’t disturb her, so I move closer and kneel to the side of her chair.
“Orion?” she questions, before moving her head toward me, her gaze following.
“No, Mother. Aten.”
“Where is your father?” she asks.
“Father? In his office, I presume. But I came to see you.”
“Aten?”
“Yes.” I take her hand in mine and squeeze. It isn’t common, but touch is fast becoming something I have a new appreciation for, thanks to Ever.
There’s a current, a pulse, between us as our palms touch. Perhaps the echo of a Guard’s power—of her power—responding?
Whatever it is seems to bring her out of the daze.
“Aten, thank the stars. Your father—”
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
“No, it’s you who must listen.” She talks with vigour and an urgency I’ve not seen from her since before my Transference. “He only did it because of the girl. He loves you, please remember that.” Her eyes bore into mine, as if she’s willing me to understand.
“Is this about Ever?”
“The Fifth. He doesn’t want it to happen again.”
“I know about the battle. About the secrets. I know Father knew who her parents were, or at least who her father was.” My words are harsh, infused with all the pain that those secrets have caused.
“Why was it all hidden? What was so important?” I pull my hand back and run my hands through my hair in frustration.
This is not the conversation I thought I would be having.
“He saw Elex tear Kirrasia apart. Many friends died. And he stood against them, your father. He was a Warrior. That was his duty, but Elex was a friend. We all knew them.”
“Them? Ever’s parents?” I ask, piecing everything she’s telling me together.
“Aerith. She was so lovely. Powerful. And together, well—” Her eyes slide away as if she’s drawn to the memory.
“Well, what?”
“They divided everyone. Discourse and confusion followed. And after, your father was wracked with guilt, but more than that, fear. And it changed him. He saw, you see. He could see that what they started would never rest. His paranoia grew. I did what I could. Always. Calming him. Trying to let the ghosts of the past stay there. But it was such a burden. He was always so strong and refused to forget.”
“What are you telling me? I don’t understand.” I return to her side and take her hand again, but her stare has turned to the arched windows, spilling cool light into the room.
“Until your Transference. And then I couldn’t anymore. I tried. But the fear, his worry, it was too much.”
Had my mother been influencing my father for all these years? Since the Battle of Decree?
My mind races back to the confrontation in his office, when I saw the walls built around his secret. Were they his walls—his shields? Or did my mother have a hand in that?
No. He knew. He was afraid.
“He could see you with her. He was frightened of her. Feared what she could do.”
“So, he sabotaged her? Because of your past?”
She looks at me then. “He has only ever wanted what was best for you. He didn’t want you to have to protect Kirrasia, like he has.”