Chapter 39
thirty-nine
. . .
Aten
Imark Ascella’s steps as she goes to her room. Once inside, Cetus locks the door, and the tension dissipates.
“Are you okay?” I shout to Ever in my mind, and my heart stops, just for a beat, as she looks at me and smiles.
Everyone else falls away, and it’s just us in this hallway. All over again.
“I’m fine.”
“Did you meet any of the other trainees or custodians? We’re not going to be able to stay a secret here for long.” Kalan brings me back to reality.
Ever walks forward until she’s standing by General Aster, who’s taken up guard duties at Ascella’s door.
“I’m so very sorry, Mr Aster.”
“General. Or Cetus, Ever. Please.”
She nods, and as she rights herself, the air cools, and the familiar colour of sorrow collects around her like a personal storm cloud.
“If you’re amenable, we need to move the Warriors with purpose.”
“What did the Maker say?” Calix asks.
“War will come.” She turns back to Calix’s father.
“You need to send scouts. We need an early warning of their arrival. They took me out on the coast, but we never found out where their numbers were based. It won’t just be from Nehandun, not all of them.
Protect the borders. All of them.” She gives her instructions swiftly. Directly.
“You’re sure?” he checks.
“No. You’ll have to fight from those within, too. This isn’t going to be like the last time. My…” She pauses. “My parents started this, but the Usher plans to finish it. He’s using the fear of power to his advantage. He’s winning people over to his side with a false promise.”
“I remember the battle. The uprising,” he states, his memory now clear.
“This won’t be the same. For many reasons, it will be worse.”
“You’re a Fifth.” He scrutinises Ever, and I feel the doubt weighing on him, as if everything in him—his now clear memories—only gives him doubt.
With a seed of my power, I push the thought towards him that Ever isn’t the enemy. We need him to believe that. The Warriors need to defend Kirrasia.
“She’s a Fifth. But she shouldn’t be tarnished with the crimes of her parents. There’s enough blame to be placed with the Orders who tried to cover everything up rather than fix things,” I say very calmly as I let the intent take root. I can check my conscience later.
“What do you mean?” Calix asks.
“The Guards. They were tasked with smoothing the transition after the battle. My mother shared that little bit of intel with me. Seems that’s why there’s such a blank space for us. Kirrasia needed to heal. Over the years, the knowledge has faded and fallen from memory, I guess.”
Cetus looks at me, then back to Ever.
“If it helps, you won’t need to worry about having to fight me.
Kalan is sure my brother is still alive, so it’s him and the army that the Usher will bring.
Don’t underestimate their thirst or desire for power.
Their fight is a distraction. Remember that, too.
My brother is powerful. He doesn’t need touch to magnify his powers.
He does not bend to the rules of Aslendrix.
He’s been feeding the lie and growing his army for years, using individuals who feel hard done by or aggrieved about their magic to recruit their allegiance. ”
“How? He’s only a kid, like you.”
“He’s nothing like me.” Ever holds General Aster’s stare.
“When?” He cracks first.
“He took me on a new moon, when everyone was incapacitated. That won’t work here, because it puts everyone at a disadvantage. When would you attack?” she asks.
They share a moment, and I let my mind run over the scenario, stacking the information to come up with the best attack strategy I can.
“If they’ve been planning this for years, they won’t waste any more time.
We don’t know what condition Fenix is in, if he’s alive, but Ever and Fenix cancel each other out.
So, they’ll start as soon as they can, before we can shore up defences or turn people to our side. They know we’ll sound the alarm.”
Cetus turns the key on Ascella’s door, locking her in, and gives it to Calix.
“We will protect Kirrasia. You,” he points to all of us, “stay out of this fight.” His words land with the weight of his position—the General of our army.
I watch him leave, the instruction to stay out of this jars against everything in me as I count another dozen seconds in my head to ensure he has left, before turning to Calix.
“We’re not—”
“Like fuck. He might be my father, but there’s no way he’s keeping us out of this. Ever?” Calix turns to her.
“It’s not my decision what any of you do.”
“We know that,” Kalan answers. “But we haven’t come all this way to sit and hide.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
Ever just looks at him, and then to Lyle. She might have wanted her to come with her, to keep her safe, but I doubt Ever would want her to fight.
“We can sort all of that later. Cal, can you get food and drink for Kalan and Lyle? They can hide out—”
“In my room,” Ever answers. “They can use my room.”
Lyle’s body turns rigid, and she edges away from Kalan, visibly uncomfortable with the choice.
“You can talk out your differences and your grievances.”
“Ever—” she starts.
“No. We are all on one side.” She walks off towards her room, glancing at me as she goes, her eyes locked on mine, before stopping and shoving the door open and stepping inside.
I linger at the threshold and watch as she goes to her bedside table to retrieve something.
“This is yours.” She holds something out and waits for Kalan to open his hand. “Thank you for this, but I think you should take it back.”
He turns the piece of jewellery over in his hand. “No. I gave it to you. It has served you well. It hasn’t been mine for a very long time.” He places it back on the table.
“Fine. Talk. Both of you. We’ll see you in the morning.” She walks past me but doesn’t go far. Just in front of my door.
I close Kalan and Lyle in, even though it might be a mistake to keep them locked in close quarters, and take a deep breath.
I cross the hall and lean against the other side of the door jamb to Ever.
“Am I staying with you?” She smiles.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight, Ever. I had a duty to speak with Cetus. Now, there’s not a chance in Zuns I’m leaving your side.”
She keeps her pale green eyes trained on me, and without even thinking about it, my mind opens up to her. It’s there… beating between us, the familiar tension that we were never able to escape from.
“Do you remember, you wanted to stay locked inside your room once?” I muse over our first new moon day here.
“I remember. I also remember my disappointment that you dragged me up a mountain.”
“To the Opal Falls.”
“Our Opal Falls.”
So much has stood in our way since then, when the only problems we faced were secrets. Now, those secrets have grown teeth and blades to physically harm both of us, not just the potential to cause pain.
So much pain.
She’s thinking the same, the colour of her feelings impossible to hide from being so close.
“Come on.” I open the door and pull her inside, but she snatches her hand away.
“No. We don’t know what will happen, and I don’t want to waste a single touch.” She cradles her hand in her other as if it were a weapon needing to be hidden away.
“It isn’t a waste, Ever. It’s never a waste to touch you in any way I can.”
She just stays on the other side of the room, but distance won’t deter me.
“Ever, we were pretty good, even without touch. Don’t fear us before we’ve even tried. Unless you don’t want us anymore?”
She drops her head. “We could have been normal. Safe. But I asked Aslendrix for my power back.” Her gaze creeps up until she’s looking at me, tears dancing in her eyes.
“I know if I touch you, I will hurt you, and I hate it, Ten. After everything we’ve been through.
Everything I’ve done to you, and now it’s my fault. ”
“Hey, shhh. We’ve been through that. It’s done.
And I’m still here.” I cross the room to the table she’s perched against. “We’ve both had some decisions to make, but we can’t change any of that.
We have each other still, okay?” I plant a kiss on her forehead, capturing a few of her wayward curls and twisting them behind her ear.
The brief contact doesn’t hurt, but that familiar heat and hum are there, sparking to life and igniting our magics, perhaps.
I risk a bit more and slide my hand around the back of her neck, running my thumb over her jaw. I love watching her eyes spark wide and her breath hitch.
“Ten?”
“I’m right here, Little Siren.”
She edges her legs wider, allowing me to position myself even closer to her, the spot I’m more than eager to return to.
With my other hand, I stroke her hair back.
My eyes lock with hers, and I relax, find the heart of my magic and build the shields around me, higher and tougher than before.
Each layer is hardened with pain and anger, as if I’ve shaped them into armour.
“Kiss me,” she purrs.
I smile, drinking in each and every diamond sparkling at me from her bright eyes, before I dip my head and slam my lips against hers.
It isn’t my intention to steal her breath, but I’ll take it, needing her to feel as much as possible.
She needs to know that whatever we can snatch and build until the new moon is enough. That we’ll figure it out.
She tastes of hunger and nerves and excitement. All I know is that I’m addicted to her.
Our kiss deepens, the concentration to keep my shields locked in place while falling under Ever’s spell is a challenge, especially as her hands run up my chest, over my clothes and wrap around my neck.
She keeps them over my shirt, but I wish she could touch me, no barriers between us, like when we were at Lyle’s house.
The soft moan from her throat has me cursing inside my mind and praying to Aslendrix that all of this isn’t going to be torn away in a matter of seconds.
However, it seems like we left any luck back in Estereah.
Because as Ever’s grip on me tightens and her legs wrap around my hips, the pain in my head starts. Slowly at first, building, as if it’s pressure trying to break through my shield.
But the blocks don’t stop the visions now flashing behind my eyes. I tilt my head to rest my forehead against hers, breaking our kiss.
“Ten?”
“I know. Just. Don’t let go. Not yet. We’ve avoided this for so long. Maybe this vision will be something useful for a change. Something to hope for. Like the Opal Falls.” It’s a risk to speak along our connection, but I need her to hear me, and this way is much harder to ignore.
I swipe my thumb over her jaw again and breathe through the pain.
The images keep flickering like they’ve done in the past. When the scene before us turns white, it’s my turn to pull away. This is what I’m afraid of. The vision I fear the most.
While there’s snow all around, there are also people. Many more people. Swords, fighting, all a blur as the vision shifts, stuttering to one with colour and brightness.
“Ever?” I grit her name, clinging onto her as the pain barrels through into my mind.
“Let go, Ten.” She pulls away, trying to break the contact that invokes such a painful response. But I keep my hands where they are, needing—no pleading—for another outcome. Another possible future that we can hope for.
There’s no set vision that emerges from the chaos. No idyllic waterfall, or other scene that I can bring to reality for us. Just the possibility of more pain.
My hands fall from her face, and I stagger back, breathing heavily. My eyes skim over her, not ready to look at her eyes. Not ready to admit defeat.
“Ten? What did you see?”
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing good.” I walk to the washroom and run cold water to splash over my face, letting the shock clear my mind.
“Ten? Did we see the same thing? I saw a battle, like the one I did when I first trained with Ascella. There was a fight.” She stands at the door to the washroom. As I look up into her eyes, they are rimmed with darkness, like the black smoke that spins from her fingers when she gets angry.
“I saw the same. A battle. The snow. But I also saw colours. Other images that I couldn’t concentrate on, couldn’t bring into focus.”
“Do you think it’s the future? We keep seeing the same things. It has to be.”
“Possibilities, Ever. They will only ever be that.”
“And if Ascella chooses the other side—my brother’s side—and we have to fight?”
“You said you wouldn’t be fighting.” I remind her of what she told General Aster.
“I know what I said, but what if…”
“Tomorrow. We can talk about that tomorrow.” I walk out of the washroom and into the room. “I’m going to go and check on Calix.”
“Ten, please don’t be disappointed. We’ll find a way. To be together. Once this is over. If you meant what you said, through all of this, we’ll—”
“We’ll find a way, Little Siren. I love you. And I’m not disappointed. Not with you, at least. I was just… hoping to see something else to believe in. A future that didn’t show you bleeding out in the snow.”
I brush my hand over hers, a whisper of touch.
“You’ll endure every possible future,” she says the words that I feel, deep in my soul, and I watch her eyes glaze with tears.
“As long as you’re still there with me. I still vow by that, Ever.” I smile. “We’ll find our way, Little Siren. I promise.”