7. Thayla
Thayla
The house is holding its breath. The energy itself feels like it’s waiting for one of us to make a move.
We aren’t sitting in stillness, but this isn’t the kind of tranquility where we’re basking in each other’s company.
It’s the kind where everyone is thinking too loudly.
Creed is…tinkering. I’ve never seen him tinker. The clank of plates and cups is the only sound he makes as he wipes already-clean shelves and puts everything back exactly where it was. He’s almost done with the last cabinet, and I have no idea what he’ll move on to next.
Amick sits on the couch without a book. He’s staring forward, unblinking, fingers laced together in his lap.
Kyzen taps my thigh in rhythm with the soft hum Riven’s been letting out for the past hour. Neither of them has spoken since dinner.
I lay my hand over Kyzen’s to stop the tapping.
“Why does time move so strangely?”
He tilts his head. “What do you mean?”
“There were moments today that flew by, and now the minutes are dragging. Why? Is it our minds? Emotions? Or is time just weird as hell?”
He huffs a quiet laugh. “Waiting makes people miserable.”
“That’s definitely part of it,” Amick says, finally breaking his statue-pose. “Your mind measures time differently depending on stimulation, stress, focus. All kinds of things.”
I smirk. “You say that like you’ve researched this.”
“I most certainly have.”
“Of course you have.” Riven chuckles. “Why?”
Amick shrugs. “I like getting lost in my mind. When we were younger, it bothered me when I was focused on something and time would just…vanish. I wanted to learn how to slow it down.”
“That is the most Amick thing I’ve ever heard.”
I shake my head at Riven and his teasing.
“I don’t know how you function with so few thoughts happening,” Amick says and Riven scoffs, laying his hand to his heart.
“I think all day, every day, thank you very much.”
A small smile tugs at my mouth from the normalcy.
Today has felt anything but normal. After ten blissful hours of sleep, I tried to convince myself that walking down that hall and unlocking those doors with a key was a crazy dream. The pearly white circle scar on my palm slapped that delusion right out of me.
Ellian showing up first thing this morning to tell us about Gladian and Mara’s situation didn’t help. He was thrown off that we already knew, but Amick shoved him straight off the cliff by telling him the God of Boundaries had returned.
And that we share blood.
Our wonderful High Chancellor had to sit down and catch his breath.
Updating Yemi, her Valtrue, Lambrit, Rose, and Havar made the morning fly by. Then we arrived at the Court, and everything slowed.
Mara’s absence was loud. I’m used to her greeting me and making some comment about my tardiness or our baby fighters. I wanted to check on her, but Ellian warned us she and Gladian wouldn’t return until he found their Valtrue.
For Mara’s sake, I hope they’re nothing like Mellcom and Jeremiah.
Lunch at Annalise’s with Laney was…humbling.
She didn’t care to spend time with Lambrit or me. She barely cared Creed was there. I apologized for not visiting yesterday like I said I would and she literally said she didn’t notice.
She’s handling this transition better than I am.
“You know, little goddess, most people don’t notice the push and pull of time until something major happens,” Kyzen says, squeezing my thigh.
Something major…understatement of the century.
I lean back and stare at the ceiling. “Yesterday and today lasted three years.”
Creed snorts as he walks over, wiping his hands on a rag. “Only three?”
“If it lasts much longer—”
“Little troublling.”
I sit straight up, squeezing Kyzen’s hand hard enough to startle him.
“Yeah. Everything okay? What’s the plan?”
“Thirty minutes. The Court.”
Derivius’s voice fades as fast as it came. I hop up immediately.
“Did you all hear him? Thirty minutes? The Court? Why such short notice? What the fuck?”
My questions spiral as I pace. Kyzen and Amick stand, blocking me in, and my steps falter.
“Hey,” Kyzen says, tilting my chin up. “This is what we wanted. The wait to be over.”
“Yeah, but damn. He could’ve told us earlier.”
“Why?” Amick asks. “So we could sit around in tense anticipation? More than we already have?”
I shut my eyes and breathe.
“You’re right. I know you’re right. It just shocked me. And now I’m really nervous.”
“Well, duh,” Riven says, running his finger down my cheek. “If you weren’t, I’d be worried you were trying to shut us out.”
“I swear I’m not.”
“We know,” Creed says, his soul brushing mine. “It’s normal to be firm in your stance but nervous confronting them.”
“What if…”
“It feels different seeing him this time?” Amick asks knowingly.
“Yeah. Exactly. Finding him at the Gods Binding was one thing. Overwhelming. Now I’ve had time to think. I’ve been thinking about all the shit I’ve talked about the God of Boundaries in my mind.”
I run my hand down my face. I distinctly remember thinking he was a piece of shit.
Ugh. What if he heard that?
No, he couldn’t hear everything. I never said his name.
“What if looking at him with a clearer head changes how I feel?”
“Then it changes it,” Kyzen says. “We’re here for you no matter what.”
The weight in my chest loosens with his sincere gaze. I nod.
“Okay. Should we go? Make sure the Court is clear?”
He chuckles and brushes his thumb across my bottom lip. “Sure, gorgeous. If that’s what you want.”
His hand rests against my cheek as he tugs me until our lips meet. I soak up his unwavering support like it’s the first drink of water I’ve had in days.
Unlike his soft kiss, Riven pulls me into his chest and devours every inch of my mouth like he simply can’t get enough of me. He releases me with a laugh as soon as a moan bubbles in the back of my throat.
With nothing more than a wink, he turns me toward Creed, and the scowl on his face makes my lips twitch for a whole other reason. He scoffs at me as his fingers tangle into the back of my hair. My head tilts instinctively and his demanding ass fully takes over the embrace.
I hiss from his little love nibble against my lip, but Amick’s quick to wash away the pain with his gentle but all-consuming kiss. He’s so attentive, sound escapes my hearing for a solid five seconds.
“Ready, Mysenta?” his breath whispers against my parted mouth.
“Yes.”
“Straight to the center or the entrance?” Creed asks.
“The entrance,” I say.
“We’ll meet you there, my endling.”
I shake out my hands and call my power forward. Warmth spreads from scalp to toes as the seven spots meet and carry me away.
This is one of those moments where I wish starshooting were slower.
The dim torches outside the Court greet me first, then my men. They stand shoulder to shoulder, not blocking the entrance, just waiting for me to say I’m ready. At my nod, they part, leaving space for me in the middle. Amick and Riven on my right, Kyzen and Creed on my left.
My fingers tremble as we march through the hallway. I flex them repeatedly to make them stop.
“It was silly wanting to come early, wasn’t it?” I ask. “No one’s going to be fucking off around the Court at night.”
“Just anyone? No,” Creed says. “With all the shit Gladian’s dealing with, though, I wouldn’t put it past him to be cooped up in his chamber.”
“That’s true. I feel so bad for them. More so Mara, but still. Their situation is a reminder that it’s not just our lives being fucked with.”
“I don’t feel bad at all,” Riven says. “Others are just now getting a taste because it’s getting worse before it gets better. We’ve been dealing with this shit forever, so welcome to our lives.”
The others grunt in agreement. I don’t add anything else.
Shadows dance across the walls from the torches, and I keep taking deep breaths as we near the end of the stretch.
I don’t think I’ll shake my nerves completely, but that’ll be okay. What I don’t want is to lash out because of my nerves. I’ve been telling myself all day I’m not going to be a bitch or cold for this conversation.
Val and Meridamus will get the me I’ve been trying to become since arriving here. Not the broken girl left in Oddian, who responded to everything with anger.
“You want to check Gladian’s chamber first?” Kyzen asks.
“Yeah. No point in—”
Our footsteps stop the moment we step into the center of the Court. Derivius, Meridamus, and Val spin toward us.
“Welp. Never mind.”
“You’re early,” Derivius says, walking toward us.
“So are you three. We were going to make sure the Court was cleared.”
“What little faith you have in me. You didn’t think I’d do that?”
“Of course, it makes sense now,” I grumble. “That wasn’t my first thought when you told us when to be here.”
“Patience is not your strong suit, little troublling.”
I purse my lips at him.
“Shall we begin?”
“You’re way too happy right now,” I mutter as he pivots and gestures for us to walk forward.
“Ignore me. You know my power gets excited at the prospect of Chaos.”
Riven chuckles. The rest of us huff.
Might as well get this started.
I straighten my spine, pull my shoulders back, and take the first step. My men stay aligned with me as we cross the space that suddenly feels much smaller. We stop a few feet from the Beginning Gods.
“Thayla. How are you? How was your day?”
Wrinkles form between my brows and I tilt my head slightly. In my peripheral, Amick does the same.
I don’t know how to address them.
Meridamus is Meridamus. That won’t change in my mind.
Calling him Val feels strange.
I can’t bring myself to say Thane. Only my mother ever called him that.
Father…Dad. Not happening. Yet.
“I don’t think she’s interested in small talk, Val,” Meridamus says.
My gaze flicks to him, then back. Val doesn’t push. He lets me examine him.
Growing up, I only ever paid attention to his eyes and bright silver hair. Now that I’ve seen every Beginning God, I’m curious why his hair is that color. I also used to think he was the biggest man in the realm. He’s built exactly like the others.
How many times have I looked in a mirror and never realized where my nose came from?