20. Thayla #2
“Sounds like the plan.” My eyes drift shut as she lays her head on my shoulder. I hold her a little tighter before she can rip herself away from me. “I love you, Laney girl.”
“Love you, Thay.”
A giggle breaks free from her as Riven scoops her and spins her around. I narrow my eyes at him when he tells her to cause some chaos while he’s off doing boring adult stuff. She agrees.
She spares Creed, Kyzen, and Amick quick hugs as her friends call her name and tell her to come on, that their game is starting.
I give myself a moment to watch her. Then I roll my shoulders out.
“Let’s go home.”
Four murmured agreements reach my ears and my power wraps around me. The realm snaps back into place in a quiet rush of air and dim light as our living room greets me.
No one speaks right away.
We don’t move like we usually do when we get back from anywhere. No scattered conversations, no teasing remarks, no immediate breaking off into routines.
Just…stillness.
Like we all arrived at a conclusion at the same time and haven’t decided what to do with it yet.
“I’m going to shower,” I say quietly, more to myself than anyone else.
No one argues.
That, more than anything, tells me they’re all in the same space I am.
I don’t look back as I head down my hallway and through my room.
The bathroom door closes behind me with a soft click, and for a moment, I just stand here, letting the silence settle around me.
It’s comforting for about three seconds, then it becomes suffocating.
I wash quickly. Like I’m trying not to give my mind too much time to obsess over all the thoughts, worries, things to do, things to say. Everything.
When I step out, the steam in the bathroom covers my mirrors and steals the air from the space. My chest tightens unbearably and I swear I practically sprint to the door.
The sensation evaporates the second I sling it open.
They’re here.
Their heads turn toward me, and I sigh. It’s not like I really thought they’d be anywhere else but somewhere in the house.
I just…needed my eyes on them.
I also recognize it’s hours earlier than when we’d go to bed, but I don’t want to do anything but lie with them.
My towel hits the floor of my closet as soon as I cross the threshold, and I grab the first large shirt I see. I sling it on and head right back out all in a matter of maybe two seconds.
No one has to shift or move from where they’re already lying as I climb into bed and settle myself between them.
Creed’s on one edge with Amick beside him.
Kyzen’s on the other while Riven takes up his spot and half of mine.
I don’t tell him to move. I wrap his arm around me like it’s a rope that’ll keep me tethered to this familiar safety.
For a while, none of us move. The silence isn’t awkward. It’s just full.
Tomorrow lingers over all of us like a dark cloud.
“My little psycho,” I whisper, bringing his knuckles to my lips. “Will you do me a favor?”
“Need me to talk Creed into baking some cookies?”
I snort when Creed grunts.
“Annalise literally had to call you down before you ate all the kids’ cookies. I think you’re good for the night.”
“You can never have too many cookies, but I digress. What do you need, my little burden?”
“Will you make the ceiling stars?” I ask low.
“Like the night you took my precious virginity?”
His brothers groan, but I smile to myself.
“Yes. Just like that night.”
That magical, perfect night.
He hums softly as his Chaos dances across my skin and around the room. My curtains flow completely shut, blocking out the last remaining light from the setting sun. Next, the glow from my lamps and fireplace cease to exist. Then…we’re thrown into darkness.
My heart flutters as where my canopy hangs over my bed transforms into bright dots and a breathtaking moon. I roll until I’m lying flat on my back, staring up at the stars.
His Chaos created exactly what I wanted to see.
A small smile plays on my lips as I squint one eye, then hold my fingers above me. They jump from star to star, racing toward the moon.
My breath catches as four more arms lift into the air, and eight fingers mimic what mine are doing. The completeness that settles across my soul damn near has tears prickling my eyes.
I’m not sure how long we jump from star to star together. Every now and then, the guys will flick each other’s fingers away when the other gets too close to them. Countless laughs echo around my bedroom without a word or joke even uttered. It’s peaceful in a way I can’t even explain.
My arm eventually grows tired, and I slowly lower it to my chest. One by one, they each do the same. I swallow once, debating whether I want to break this moment with a question. I decide that I’d really like to talk about it.
“Can I ask you all something?”
“Anything,” Kyzen says immediately.
I’ll always appreciate his steadiness.
I keep my eyes on the stars above us.
“Do any of you have any happy memories from your childhood home?”
Silence follows, but it’s not heavy, just thoughtful.
Then Kyzen exhales.
“You won’t be able to see it tomorrow, but from the balcony off my bedroom, you could step on the railing, then jump to the roof…
” He lets out a small laugh, then clears his throat.
“Early one morning, I made the jump like I had so many times, but somehow, I didn’t get a good grip on the overhang.
I remember my heart thrashing around in my chest as my fingers started slipping. ”
Mine pounds now thinking about that. From the design Amick drew, the roof is too fucking far from the ground for him to be doing shit like that.
“I was able to pull myself up, and I slung myself against the shingles. After minutes of taking deep breaths, I fell apart laughing at myself. I think it was the first time in my life I had felt that rush of adrenaline, that true test of time running out, and death didn’t follow.
I just sat there…laughing, and watched the sun come up.
That was also the last time I ever climbed up there. ”
A small snort escapes me. I bet that was a lesson learned.
I would’ve pissed myself.
“The elation I felt the first time I snuck into the library and spent the night there,” Amick says, and I turn my attention to him.
“You know, after our father declared all the roles we’d take on, and he began dictating what I could and couldn’t read, he also took away my privilege of going to the library whenever I wanted.
I took a whole month to plan that night out. ”
I hear the smile in his voice, and I lace my fingers through his to stop myself from caressing his cheek so I can map out his dimple.
“I enjoyed every moment of that night.”
His hand squeezes mine in return, and we both lie still, waiting to see if one of the others has anything to say or not.
“This one time, Derivius was babysitting me overnight—”
“Babysitting you?” I ask, whipping my head back toward Riven.
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “Derivius had to come watch me a lot. Sometimes Slutlline and our father went and did fuck knows what and the guys had to go to their mother’s.
Our father didn’t trust me in the house alone and my egg donor surely wasn’t going to let me stay with her.
So Derivius would come stay with me. On this particular night, he turned one side of the grand staircase into a slide and left the others as stairs.
He gave me a pillowcase to put my legs in so I could slide faster.
Then I’d take the pillowcase off, run up the stairs, and do it all over again. We did that all night long.”
My throat closes with the sweet mental image I create. Little Riven running around so carefree, with nothing but Chaos in the air around him.
And Derivius…I bet he loved every moment of it.
“The night before we escaped, I had my first taste of chocolate.”
“Damn, how did you do that?” Riven asks, glaring over at Creed. “I didn’t have chocolate until we got here.”
“I stole it from the kitchen a year before then and was too afraid to eat it. I felt like our father would just know somehow.” A quiet rumble leaves his chest. “I remember staring up at my ceiling, turning the little wrapped square in my hand so many times it started melting. A touch of it leaked from the corner and I just…licked it off. My taste buds flared to life and before I knew it, I was licking the damn paper it was wrapped in.”
Kyzen, Riven, and I fall into a fit of laughter. It doesn’t take Creed long to join in and even Amick makes a small, contented sound. I can picture him in my mind, literally licking up every bit of that melted deliciousness.
Slowly but surely, our chuckles fade into soft smiles.
“How about you, gorgeous?” Kyzen asks.
A long sigh falls from my chest as I map the stars still shining over us. I really do attempt to think hard about it, but not one memory comes. Not exactly like theirs, anyway.
“I don’t remember my childhood home,” I mumble. “We moved too much. I can’t tell you what any of them looked like. Walls, rooms, places. It all blurs together. But I…I remember them. My parents.”
My chest tightens in a different way as four soothing strokes flow across my soul.
“The feeling of them. The sound of their voices. Their smell. The adventures I thought we were on. Like no matter where we were, that was the only place I ever needed to be.”