43. Thayla
Thayla
Day one of The Veiling Week
I stare down at my white knuckles as I clench my bathroom sink.
Gods, I’m going to be sick.
Deep breath.
It’s just thousands of people listening to you give a speech.
That sounds so much worse.
“Thayla girl, you in here?”
My head turns toward my bathroom door just as my mom crosses the threshold. The smile on her face softens when she takes in my current state.
“Someone is nervous.”
“Nervous,” I let out a small huff. “That doesn’t cover it.”
Wordlessly, she grabs a rag, wets it with cold water, and blots the back of my neck. My eyes drift shut and I take countless breaths.
“Everything’s going to be okay. This is going to be remembered as one of the greatest days in history. You, your men, your friends, you’re all going to lead the way. I’d be worried if none of you were nervous.”
“The guys don’t feel all that nervous.”
Believe me, I’d know. I’m stalking our bond and their souls.
“Then they’re hiding those emotions from you because their faces and actions are saying something different. Riven just turned down a muffin from Annalise.”
My wide eyes swing to hers, and she nods knowingly.
“Those assholes. They’re blocking me from feeling them.”
It’s taken us this long to figure out how to do that to one another. Those first few months were rough. Half the time I couldn’t tell if it was my emotions, theirs—hell, my Chaos. It was something.
I never wanted to be able to travel to Elementra as bad as I did during that time. Willow’s ass was the one who warned me that our Valtrue wasn’t complete and neither was I. Once we were, I needed some advice on how to manage it.
I didn’t get that, but her also saying that it was a journey we deserved to go on without interference always rang in my mind.
And a journey it was.
Overwhelming at times, yes, but worth every second of learning, growing, and becoming closer to my men.
We’re stronger now than ever before.
“Would it really help to feel their stress?” my mom asks as she runs her fingers through my hair.
“Yes, absolutely. Then I’d know I’m not the only one who’s worried everything about today could go wrong. That eighteen months of nonstop work isn’t about to blow up in our faces.”
Her quiet laugh wraps around my heart as she grips my shoulders and stares into my eyes.
“Did it blow up in your face when you escorted me into the Veil six months ago?”
A genuine smile crosses my lips and my eyes drift shut as I think back to that day.
That was a beautiful day.
Mom gave herself a full year before making her choice.
A year to discover who she was without the Valories’ control. Without the weight of being the Messenger. She explored Godsden, wandered every corner of the realm with Dad, and became inseparable from Annalise along the way.
The two of them spend nearly every free moment together now, whether they’re baking, chasing children through the market, or gossiping over tea.
My favorite part, though…is watching Mom simply be Laney’s person. Like Annalise, she never tried to claim the title of mother.
She never had to. She simply loved her.
She missed twenty years of my life, but she pours every ounce of that love into my little sister, and somehow, watching it healed something inside me.
Yes, at first, it hurt.
Seeing the mother I never got to have standing in front of me every day wasn’t easy. But Iric helped me realize love isn’t a finite thing.
Mom loving Laney doesn’t take anything away from me.
It gives Laney something I desperately wish I had.
She, thank the stars, is not turning out the way I did. Her anger doesn’t consume her, and she has more support than I even knew existed back then.
About a month after bringing everyone home from beyond the barrier, Lambrit and I sat her down and explained that the evil plaguing the realm, the one that took her parents from her, had been taken care of.
It was safe for her to live with Lambrit or, of course, with the guys and me. Laney, who’s becoming too mature for her age, gripped our hands and said…no, thank you. She doesn’t want to live with only adults, and she loves her new siblings.
Her new home.
We accepted her choice and then threw ourselves into getting the realm right so not only her but every other child in the realm could grow up differently than we did.
Eleven months into that work, Mom told me she was ready to step into the Veil. Even once her decision was made, she worried she wasn’t worthy of walking back out a goddess. That she hadn’t done enough to deserve it.
Then the Deliverance she walked out with named her the Goddess of Stars. Every doubt she’d carried disappeared the moment she read it.
She watches over the journeys of every soul that enters the realm. She doesn’t change their fate, choose their connections, or manipulate anything. She illuminates their way to find their Starwoven. Their forevers.
Somehow…she was never becoming someone new.
She simply became who she was always meant to be.
That day, she wasn’t the only one who stepped into the Veil.
Yemi, Iric, Nero, Sevryn, and Mara each came out holding Domain God titles like the rest of their Starwoven Valtrue. Havar went in and came out a Domain God as well. They more than deserved and have earned them. It was still so relieving and gratifying watching their truths unfold.
Iric Obi, God of Solace.
Nero Valadi, God of Accord.
Sevryn, God of Pain.
Mara Willmer, Goddess of Elevation.
Havar Andino, God of Creatures.
I was a touch worried about Havar’s. Not because I didn’t think he deserved it, but because I didn’t know how Otiero would accept that.
Surprisingly, he was incredibly supportive and said after the many mistakes he had made, it was time for someone else to take care of the creatures of our realm.
Havar cried. He’s so emotional.
And Yemi Andino…Goddess of Boundaries.
My dad thought he had lost his title and he was completely okay with it. Then, the Gods Binding told us otherwise.
For the first time in our history, the realm felt that the Domain of Boundaries would be better enforced by two people rather than one alone. No one understood the importance of healthy boundaries better than the two of them.
I may or may not have cried.
Rose and Lambrit were going to step through as well, but before they could, Kyzen gripped their shoulders and told them it wasn’t time yet. I don’t know exactly why, and he didn’t willingly give up much information. He basically said, when it’s time for them to step up, they will.
I believe him. I believe in them.
A small laugh leaves my lips as I open my eyes and glance at my mom. She smiles at me knowingly as if she knew before I did that I just needed a minute, a reminder, of all the good we’ve already done.
“Thank you,” I say. “Walking you and everyone else into the Veil that day was one of the greatest moments we’ve had in the last year and a half.”
“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart. You, your men, and your family have done wonderful things. Not just that day. The people of Godsden are so much better off now that you’ve also released power to them. Today is going to go just as great as that day. You all are ready. The realm is ready.”
A long breath leaves my lips, and I easily give in as she pulls me into a hug. I soak in her warmth and let it settle my racing heart.
“You’re right,” I say. “It’s time.”
The two of us leave my bathroom arms linked, and as soon as we reach the threshold to my hallway, the voices reach me.
Yemi’s carries over everyone’s as she barks orders.
A massive smile stretches across my face as she walks around the house with V and Lestari on her shoulders. She’s pointing her pen at people while reading instructions from her notebook. No one dares to argue with her.
“Where the hell is—oh good, there you are,” she says, facing me. “Where’s your speech?”
“In my pocket,” I say, patting my pants.
“Your second copy?”
I pat the other side.
“In my other pocket.”
“Perfect and I have a copy for when you lose both those copies.” I snort, but she carries on. “Do you have your schedule memorized?”
“Yes,” I say, and she arches a very knowing brow. “Mostly.”
“I have it memorized.” She huffs and rolls her eyes, then slams her notebook shut. “Okay, people, it’s time. Let’s go, out the front door.”
My mom makes her way to my dad, lacing her fingers through his as they follow Mara, her men, Rose and Lambrit, Ellian, Annalise, Havar, Derivius, Meridamus, Yemi, and her men out the door.
Mine wait for me with small smiles on their faces.
“Feel better?” Kyzen asks.
“Yeah. Whose idea was it to send my mom in?”
“Amick’s,” he, Creed, and Riven say.
Amick’s lips tighten.
“It worked. You feel more settled now.”
I grin as I situate myself in the middle of them.
“I do feel better. Thank you, Candyman,” I say as I lay a kiss to his chest. “We ready?”
“Yes,” all four of them say.
Together, we walk out of the house.
Before we can reach the others, a pissy Veilatara stomps in my way.
“I can’t believe you aren’t letting me come. This is very sentimental to me,” Seismet huffs.
“Oh my goodness, for the millionth time, I told you that you, Verlet, and Fausta could fly over if you want.”
“Yes, but I want you to fly on my back with your wings spread out. Imagine the entrance that would be.”
“Seismet, we don’t need a grand entrance. Everything about the day is grand enough.”
He stomps his hoof.
“Fine, whatever. Have it your boring way.”
“Fly safe,” I call after he prances away and flaps his wings.
Goodness, that Veilatara is so damn sassy.
Our entire group waits for us and at my nod, we starshoot to the room the Gods Veil is in.
The last year and a half wasn’t just planning this moment. It was full of learning.
How to open a starshoot but not step through it ourselves.
How to use each tool available to us.
How to accept the fact that some of the ideas the Beginning Gods had were good ideas.