27|Wishes
I put the glass of club soda to my mouth as the low buzz of conversation surrounded our small, exclusive table.
Across from me sat two of Naomi's bosses, Russell Kane and Harris Whitman.
Beside me was Judge Wilkins swirling his bourbon.
"Impressive work on the Delancey case, Carter," Wilkins complimented me. "The prosecution was strong, but the image of the defense..."
Russell's jaw tightened because he was the defense, whose client I'd just put away for fifteen years today.
I smiled along with Whitman.
"Nathaniel always had a thing for winning," Whitman mentioned. "Ever since we were kids."
We went to the same private, all boys school when we were kids.
He moved from Jersey to Texas, yet we still ended up in the same city, practicing law.
Whitman motioned for the waitress to bring another round as we flipped through our menus.
The four of us having lunch was completely unintentional.
Wilkins had invited me to discuss a trial with him when we met Kane and Whitman walking in.
"How are you and Naomi?" Russell asked.
"Surprisingly good," I nodded.
We haven't fought in like a week, so that's a new record.
"Though your therapist is shit," I added and he laughed.
"That's why I'm thankful everyday my wife and I work in different career fields," Whitman said.
Judge Wilkins shook his head. "If my wife and I were like you two in court, I would get thrown in the dog house."
"I was," I made sure to inform them.
"It's not the best feeling that you and your wife are on opposite sides of the fence, but that's who we are," I shrugged. "And we're trying to make the best of it."
They all nodded in approval.
"I see you two have that Perez trial coming up," Judge Wilkins acknowledged.
"Which Naomi is going to win," Russell interjected.
"I expect nothing less," I nodded.
"Wow, this is the first time you ever admitted to not minding losing a trial," Whitman noticed. "You really love her, don't you?"
"Well, she is my wife after all," I said before chugging down the remainder of my club soda.
Don't say anything else, Nate.
Don't say anything else, Nate.
Don't say anything else, Nate.
"Which is why I can't just sit and watch you two make a fool of her," I couldn't help but say.
Everyone suddenly gave me their full attention.
"I mean, Kate?" I asked offended. "Really?"
"Nate, it's not like we didn't consider her-" Harris tried to start, but I stopped him before he could come up with anymore excuses.
"No, don't start with that bullshit," I said angrily. "Naomi deserves partner."
"I get that, but-"
"No, make it happen," I demanded.
...
Naomi curled into me like a teddy bear as we cuddled in bed.
I silently wrapped my arms around her as guilt tortured me.
I knew she didn't like when I interfered with her career, but I couldn't help myself.
They were overworking her without giving her any reward.
That's why I hate the corporate system so much.
They'd make excuse after excuse even when they knew she's the best lawyer at that shitty firm.
She suddenly giggled.
Giggled.
My wife giggled.
I quickly checked her forehead to see if she was running a fever.
She tends to do strange things whenever she is sick.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"What are you doing?" I asked back. "You...giggled."
She rolled her eyes before hugging me tighter. "Am I not allowed to laugh?"
"You can, but...you don't," I said hesitantly.
She looked up at me with narrowed eyes. "I laugh."
"When was the last time you laughed?" I asked.
"I don't know, but I know it's more recent than your last time," she confidently said and I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever you think," I said. "Happy wife, happy life."
"I know that's right," she said before I suddenly felt my chest being kissed.
I furrowed my eyebrows before stopping her.
"Seriously, what is going on?" I asked and she smiled.
"I'm just happy that I have you again," she said innocently and my heart ached.
"Naomi, if you missed me that much, why didn't you say anything?"
She looked down. "Because I knew you were done with me."
I cupped her face, forcing her to look up. "I can never be done with you."
Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and I quickly pulled her into a hug. "Naomi."
She's just so hurt and broken, that I don't even know how to piece her together.
"I'm sorry," she cried. "It's just that I'm trying not to mess up again and it's really hard."
I held her tighter, pressing my lips against her temple.
"You're not messing up, Nae."
She sniffled. "I feel like I am."
"You're trying," I told her. "That's all I ever wanted."
She squeezed me tighter. "Did I ever tell you why I hate my parents so much?"
I shook my head gently, resting my chin on top of her head. "No, but I figured it was something bad."
She pulled back slightly, just enough for me to see those beautiful eyes of hers.
"They taught me to perform, not to love," she admitted.
"They raised me to be this perfect little girl, but never once asked me how I felt," she continued.
"Never once told me it was okay to be sad, or angry, or scared."
I looked at her, my heart practically breaking. "That's not your fault, Nae."
"I know," she whispered with her eyes closed. "But I could never do anything good enough to please them."
"Marrying you-" she immediately stopped when her voice cracked. "Marrying you was the proudest I ever made them."
"Not when I achieved first place in any competition I ever entered," she said. "Not when I passed the bar exam."
"Just...when I became your wife," she ended, her voice softer and filled with shame.
"And when I couldn't even give you Eden-" she immediately broke down again and I quickly sat up, pulling her with me.
I cradled her in my lap, holding on to her so tightly. "Naomi, you gave me Eden."
She shook her head, barely able to breathe between sobs. "But I didn't protect her. You couldn't keep her."
I struggled to hold back my own tears. "You carried her. You loved her. You went through that heart breaking delivery."
Her eyes met mine, glassy and devastated. "But she still died."
"And that's not your fault," I said firmly.
"But you said-"
I shook my head. "I know what I said, but it wasn't true."
"She was very sick and life is fucking cruel," I made it clear.
She rested her forehead against my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt.
"I wish I could stop hating myself, Nate," she said softly.
I kissed her forehead. "I'll make sure that wish comes through."