46|Waiting
Two Days Later
I stared at my phone.
Again.
For the sixth time in the last ten minutes.
Like maybe the screen would just magically light up this time.
Like maybe I'd see his name pop up this time.
I've been worried sick for forty-eight hours straight.
Nate hadn't come home.
He wasn't answering his phone.
And I had no idea where on earth he could be.
I told myself he was just angry.
I told myself he needed time.
But the truth?
The truth was clawing its way through my gut like a warning.
Something was wrong.
Really wrong.
"I'm calling him again," I told Jackie as she sat beside me, hugging me.
She didn't stop me.
She just nodded quietly and held on to me.
I tapped his name.
The phone rang once. Then cut.
"The voicemail box you are trying to reach is full and cannot accept messages at this time."
I stared at the screen.
Ray walked into the living room. "Still no answer?"
I silently shook my head, my eyes not leaving the screen.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and I instantly shot up.
"I'll get it," I said, rushing to the door.
I knew it wasn't Nate.
He wouldn't knock on the doors of his own house.
But it could be someone bringing him home.
I yanked the door open and I was immediately disappointed.
My parents.
I quickly shook my head, ready to close the door.
"No," I started. "Now is not the time."
"I already have so much going on right now, so you two coming here to lecture me-"
I immediately shut up when they pulled me into a hug.
Tight.
Weirdly warm.
Very unfamiliar.
I stood there for a second, frozen, my mouth still parted mid-protest.
Then I broke down.
My face crumpled as I buried it in my mother's shoulder, gripping my father's jacket like I might fall if I let go.
No one said anything.
No lectures.
No questions.
No insults about how I can't even make my man stay.
Just the kind of silence that understood everything without needing to be filled.
Which surprised me a lot.
I slowly pulled away when I thought I was ready.
"We're not here to fight with you, Naomi," my mom started.
"We just want to make sure you're okay," my dad finished. "Raymond said that Nathaniel hasn't come home."
I slowly nodded as I allowed them to step in.
When they did, they greeted Jackie and Ray before we returned to the living room.
"Do you know where he could be?" My mother asked and Ray shook his head.
"We checked everywhere," he answered.
"Can we just file the damn police report already?" I snapped, even though I already asked him twice.
Ray sighed. "It's just not a good look for the campaign right now, Naomi."
"Especially if this is one of his benders and he comes back home soon," he finished. "It's unnecessary attention to the family."
I quickly stood up. "Unnecessary attention!?"
"Your son is out there and you don't even know if he's alive or not!"
"Calm down, Naomi," Jackie muttered as she pulled me back to sit next to her.
"Do you really think he went on a bender?" My dad asked and Ray nodded.
"I hate to believe it, but I think he do," he replied.
Nate is somewhere out there hurt, confused, and probably relapsed.
Things were looking up for us.
I was going to tell him that I was pregnant as soon as I got back from the bar.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," I barely managed to say as wave of nausea crashed into me.
I stood up too fast, the room spinning.
"Naomi?" Jackie called, already rising to her feet.
But I was halfway down the hall, one hand pressed to my mouth, the other clutching my stomach.
I barely made it to the bathroom before I collapsed to my knees and emptied everything.
A sob then followed.
Jackie hovered behind me while the others stood at the doorframe silent and unsure of what to do.
"What are these?" I heard Ray say from behind me. "Are you pregnant, Naomi?"
My parents glanced at the pregnancy tests before a surprised expression appeared on their faces.
Jackie smiled as she hugged me. "Congratulations, sweetheart!"
I stayed still as she hugged me.
This was supposed to be a happy moment.
A second chance.
But all I could think about was that Nate wasn't here.
The father of my children wasn't here.
I started to sob and Jackie stiffened.
"Are you-are you not happy about the pregnancy?" She asked hesitantly.
"Of course I am," I cried. "That's the problem."
Tears streamed down my face, hot and steady.
"I wanted this so badly, but after Eden, I didn't think I'd ever get another chance."
I pressed a hand to my stomach, instinctively...protectively.
"And now it's here... but he's not. He doesn't even know."
My mother stepped closer, silent now, her expression softening.
I could see her heartbreak mirrored in her eyes, but it was nothing compared to the weight crushing my chest.
"He left," I whispered. "And I don't even know if he's coming back."
"He's going to come back, Naomi," my mom encouraged. "He'll walk through those doors any minute now."
I stood up and washed my mouth, ignoring their pitiful glazes.
He hates me.
Why didn't I just tell him?
...
Nate angrily shook his head as we ate dinner. "He's in New York now."
"Who?" Ray asked as he cut his steak.
"Marcus Lane," Nate angrily muttered as he shoved a piece of steak into his mouth.
Ray paused for a second before continuing to cut his steak. "I thought he died."
Nate scoffed. "I thought so too, but apparently not. The fucker is still waltzing like he didn't murder mom."
My eyes widened as I looked at how calm Ray was.
I wasn't the type to judge, but today I was judging hard.
A man murdered his wife, and he acts like he doesn't care.
He glared at Nate. "I told you to drop it, Nathaniel!"
"I can find a way to get him behind bars," Nate argued. "Now that I'm working at the DA's office I could maybe get some guidance from the more experienced lawyers."
"This is the whole reason why I became lawyer, dad," Nate said passionately. "To finally get the murderer behind bars and bring justice to mom."
"Nate," Ray said frustratedly as he rubbed his forehead.
"Did you ever love her?" Nate asked angrily. "Do you even want justice for her?"
Ray silently watched him without sympathy.
Nate scoffed as he stood up.
"Of course not," he muttered before walking out.
I looked down nervously.
"I-I should go follow him, sir," I stuttered as I got up to excuse myself.
I had only met Nate's father once before this.
I felt so nervous as my brain kept telling me that he didn't believe I was good enough for his son.
I mean they are freaking Carters.
Nate's aunt created the Carter's clothing line, and his step mom is one of the most powerful judges in Jersey, and don't even get me started on his dad.
A damn politician.
These people were rich and powerful.
"Tell me what you want to say," he muttered as he ate.
"What?" I asked nervously before shaking my head. "I don't have anything to say, sir."
He looked at me.
"You and Nate are engaged and I refuse to let my son marry someone who can't speak up for themselves."
I contemplated if I should say something or not before I finally gave in.
"I just don't understand," I said quietly, folding my hands in front of me. "Why aren't you taking it seriously? A man killed your wife, Nate's mother, and you're sitting here eating steak like it's just another Thursday."
He sighed, placing his knife and fork down with surgical calm.
"You know Marcus Lane isn't a real person, right?" he asked casually, like he was commenting on the weather.
I blinked.
"What?"
Ray leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers like a man used to ending conversations before they started.
"There is no Marcus Lane," he repeated.
"There never was."
" It's a name Nate made up after his mother's death. A face his brain invented so he wouldn't have to live with the truth."
My heart dropped.
I shook my head slowly. "That's not-no, he said he's seen him. Recently."
"He's not well, Naomi," Ray said, his voice suddenly soft but firm. "And I've tried to shield him from that, but he's clinging to a fantasy."
I stood there silently.
Everything inside me wanted to scream that can't be true.
Because if it was...
Then Nate wasn't chasing justice.
He was chasing a ghost.
I just stood there, stunned.
Speechless.
Because if what Ray was saying was true... then Nate wasn't losing his mind, he'd already lost part of it.
And no one had told him.
Not even his own father.
"I... I don't understand," I said shakily. "If Marcus Lane isn't real, why let him go on like this? Why not just tell him the truth?"
Ray's expression didn't change.
He didn't look sad or sorry.
Just still.
"Because that's not how memory works," he said.
I shook my head. "No-no, I have to tell him.
"I took him to a specialist after it happened. The trauma blocked out the real sequence of events. The doctor said his mind created a scapegoat which is a man he could blame, chase, fight... because the truth was too much for a 6 year old child to handle."
I sank slowly into the chair, feeling the weight of it all crash over me.
"And you just... let him believe it for all these years?"
"He wasn't ready," Ray said simply. "And according to the doctor, forcing it could trigger a full psychological collapse. He has to remember it on his own."
He leaned forward now, his voice firm.
"That's why I'm telling you this."
"Because I see the way you look at him. You care. You love him. Which means I need you to promise me something."
I met his eyes and my throat tightened.
"What?"
"Don't tell him," he said. "Not until he's ready. Not until he remembers."
I hesitated.
"If you can't do that, don't marry my son," he warned. "Walk away now and don't ever talk to him again."
Everything in me wanted to scream this was wrong.
But instead, I nodded slowly.
Because I love Nate.
And I was terrified of losing him to a truth his mind had spent years trying to bury.