Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
Joy slept the entire flight back, and didn’t say a word the entire ride back to the estate.
She stared out the window, watching the city blur past in streaks of light, but she wasn’t seeing any of it.
Ace watched her the whole way, clocking how she’d folded into herself. She couldn’t even meet his eyes, a stark contrast after being so beautifully free just an hour before.
He knew something was wrong but he didn’t push.
He waited until the door to his bedroom shut behind them.
Until she kicked her boots off and moved like she was trying to outrun him.
“Look at me, Rose,” he said.
Her body stilled.
For a second, she considered not turning around but slowly, she faced him.
She braced herself for what she’d find when she finally looked at him but where she expected to see fear or judgement, she found concern.
“What’s the matter? Did you not want to do that?” he asked, concerned that he’d pushed her too far, too fast.
Joy shook her head. “No. No, I wanted to,” she assured him quickly.
“Then what’s wrong?” he asked, stepping closer.
She diverted her eyes again. “I just…” her throat tightened. “You don't think I did too much? The.. the torch and–”
Ace didn’t let her finish.
He closed the distance between them and kissed her hard, immediately silencing the thought before it could take root.
Joy melted into him on instinct, her hands finding his shirt, gripping like she needed something solid to hold onto.
“You didn’t do too much,” he murmured against her mouth.
Another kiss.
“You were amazing.”
Joy exhaled a bit. “I don’t want you to look at me differently…” she admitted, barely above a whisper.
Ace paused and pulled back to look at her, genuine bewilderment in his eyes.
“You have no idea how you looked to me, do you?”
His voice dropped, rougher and darker now.
“How hard I was watching you work like that.”
He released a slow exhale, a nearly blissful expression crossing his face like he was reliving the memory.
“Baby, I was in awe of you.”
His hand came up, caressing along her cheek, smearing blood that wasn’t hers.
And still, his touch was gentle and his gaze was tender.
“I wish you could see how beautiful you are to me.”
A slow smile spread his lips. “Come here,” he said, guiding her to the full length mirror in the corner of his room.
He turned her around so her back was to his chest. Behind her, his chin rested on her shoulder and his arms around her waist. Grounding her there with him.
He kissed the side of her face and down her neck, unconcerned with the splatters of blood decorating her skin.
“Look baby,” he whispered.
Joy’s breath caught when she looked up.
Blood streaked across her skin. Dried in places, smeared in others.
Her eyes were wild, and darker than she’d ever seen them.
Ace’s image behind her was similar to her own. They look like a thing of nightmares, only Ace’s eyes weren’t dark anymore. They shone with admiration as he looked down at Joy like she was sacred.
His lips brushed her cheek. “I love you Joy,” he said against her skin. He hadn’t thought about the words before he said them but once they were out, he realized they’d been sitting on his chest for weeks.
Joy stilled and her breath hitched.
One arm tightened around her waist while the other wandered up and down her body.
“I love you exactly like this,” he said. “That may not mean much coming from a nigga like me…”
His hand gripped her throat loosely, his thumb brushing the side of her neck. “...But I fucking love you.”
Joy’s breaths stuttered.
Her lips quivered as she turned in his embrace, pressing a kiss against his jaw.
Ace let out a quiet breath and gripped her tight like he didn’t plan on letting her go.
He kissed her forehead.
“I love you, Joy.”
Her cheek.
“I love you.”
Her temple.
“I love you.”
When he got to her lips, he kissed her slow and deep. Letting her feel rather than hear it.
With unhurried hands, Ace stripped her of her blood stained clothes. The fabric fell from her body and pooled at her feet.
“Look at you,” he murmured, eyes locked on her reflection in the mirror.
There was blood on her skin. A little madness still burning behind her eyes. Every ugly piece of herself she’d been taught to hide was reflected back at her beneath the soft bedroom lighting.
Still, Ace looked at her like she was sacred. His gaze moved over her like he couldn’t get enough.
He guided her closer to the mirror, one hand steady at her waist, the other pushing at the middle of her back, making her bend slightly.
Joy’s breath stuttered and pussy fluttered when he kicked her legs wider apart, knowing what came next. He guided himself into her then pulled her up with a light grip on her throat until they were skin to skin again.
“Fuck,” Joy moaned as he filled her. Her eyes fluttered closed, overwhelmed by the stretch and weight of him behind her, but snapped open when Ace’s hand smacked her pussy.
“Don’t you fucking look away,” he gritted. “Look, Rose. Look how perfect you are,” he demanded. He gripped her chin and forced her to look at their joined bodies in the mirror.
Joy did as she was told and choked on a sob. The complete devotion and desire in Ace’s eyes as he rocked in and out of her confused her. To be seen wholly, in all of her madness and still desired made her want to weep.
His strokes remained slow, forcing her to feel every inch and hear every word he spoke into her skin.
“Tell me,” he demanded.
“Tell you what?” Joy whined, her hips swiveling involuntarily to meet him.
“Tell me you’re perfect.”
Joy scoffed, her eyes roamed everywhere but her reflection, but Ace’s palm coming down on her again made her attention snap back where it belonged.
“Don’t piss me off, Rose. Look at yourself and tell me how perfect you are.”
Joy opened her mouth but no words escaped.
Ace went impossibly deeper, like he thought he could push the words out with his dick.
“Say it,” he demanded, settling deep within her and staying still until she gave him what he wanted.
“I’m perfect,” Joy panted, making eye contact with herself.
“Yes you are, baby,” he encouraged, giving her shallow strokes. “Again.”
“I’m perfect.”
His strokes sped up a fraction. “Mhm. Again.”
“I’m perfect!” Joy cried, the pleasure and affirmations pulling more tears from her.
“That’s right,” Ace groaned softly in her ear. “Fucking perfect.”
“I fucking love you Joy,” he rasped, staring into her soul through the mirror. His forehead pressed lightly to her temple as he held her there.
“I’ll tell you as many times as I have to. I’ll show you as many ways as I can.”
Despite the horrors she'd inflicted, he touched her so tenderly and gazed at her so reverently, tears streamed down her face and Ace immediately wiped them away.
“I have no interest in fixing you. I want every version of you. I want it all,” he affirmed in her ear, slowing his strokes so she heard every word and felt every inch.
“You gon’ give it all to me, Rose?” he asked, speeding back up to pound into her from behind. Joy’s legs began giving out and her hand shot out to hold onto the side of the mirror.
“Yes,” she cried. “Yes, you can have it all.”
“Then let go and give it to me baby,” he coaxed.
Joy let out a shaky breath, her body finally giving in, finally letting go of the tension she’d been holding.
Later, under the steady stream of hot water, Joy stood still as Ace washed the blood from her skin.
She watched the water run red at her feet then disappear down the drain. She waited for the ache of shame to settle on her chest but it never came.
Ace rolled his eyes up to the ceiling while keeping his soothing pace of caressing Joy’s bare back.
He thought about the look on her face when Cleve had called her Lil Demon. There was anger there but also shame.
Ace’s blood boiled at the thought of him throwing that name in her face, shaming her for becoming the demon she needed to be to survive them.
His eyes flicked down to her on his chest. He couldn't see her face through the curtain of curls but her even breaths absent of her usual snores let him know she was awake.
“Do you know why people call me Ace?” he asked softly.
“No, why?” she replied in a whisper.
“It’s short for my childhood nickname,” he started.
“Menace?” she finished.
His eyes flicked back to her in surprise. “How you know about that?”
“Your grandmother told me,” she answered. “That name doesn't bother you?” She sat up, bracing her hands on his chest to look up at him.
Ace sighed deeply. “It didn’t at first, but it became isolating. I was proud to be a Menace. People fear and respect menaces.”
“What changed?”
“No one knows a menace. No one wants to hold a menace or be held by one. People look away from menaces.”
Joy's eyes fluttered as understanding sank in.
No one loved a menace.
“That’s a lonely way to live.”
Ace nodded. “It is.” He kissed the tip of her nose, watching with a smile as her nose scrunched and cheeks hiked in a smile.
“It was.”
Joy’s hand came up, the soft skin of her fingers caressing his face a sensation he didn't think he’d ever get used to.
“You’re not alone anymore,” she vowed, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. “You have me now. A menace and a demon,” she chuckled.
Ace shook his head. “You’re not a demon baby.”
“Then what am I?”
“My rose.”
Joy smiled and laid her head back down on his chest. “I like that.”
“Me too.”
They laid in silence for a few moments before Joy spoke again, so low Ace would have missed it if he wasn’t so attuned to her voice.
“Did you mean it?” she asked.
Ace didn’t need her to elaborate and he didn’t need to think about it. “Yes baby. I meant it.”
“Say it again,” she whispered against his chest. “Please.”
Ace gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger, urging her face upwards so he could look into her eyes and she could look into his.
“I love you, Joy. Every fucking part of you.”
Joy’s eyes glistened with unshed tears but she closed them, refusing to let them fall.
She leaned up, pressing her lips to Ace’s then her forehead to his as well.
“I love you too,” she said. “Every part.”
She loved the lawyer and the boss.
The lonely man and the killer.
The gentle hands and the violence they were capable of.
Ace’s stomach flipped and his heart raced.
He hadn’t realized how much he needed those words from her until they fell from her pretty lips.
When he looked in her eyes, he knew they were true.
“Come on!”
Ace pushed the heavy door to his grandfather’s office open and was instantly hit with the familiar cloud of cigar smoke and Louis Armstrong humming low through the speakers.
Zachariah sat reclined behind his desk, one leg crossed over the other, a cigar between his fingers he had no business holding.
“Come on in, grandson,” Pops beckoned him over.
“You’re not supposed to have those,” Ace muttered, stepping fully into the smoke-filled room.
“I’m a grown ass man,” Pops griped.
Ace snorted. “I’mma tell Granny you’re not listening to the doctor’s orders.”
Zachariah waved him off. “I’m not scared of that old woman.”
“Bet,” Ace grinned, dropping into the chair across from him. “I’ll be sure to let her know.”
“Shut up,” his grandfather scowled.
Ace leaned back, letting the moment settle for half a second before getting to it. Pops outstretched a fresh cigar in Ace’s direction but Ace shook his head and declined.
“I’m not here for a social visit tonight, Pops. This is business,” Ace informed him.
Pops leaned back in his seat with a heavy sigh. “Go ‘head,” he waved Ace on.
Ace rested his forearms on his knees.
“We found out who put the hit out on me. And who’s been feeding the cops information.”
“It was Isaac… Wasn’t it?” Pops said, taking a pull.
“It was,” Ace confirmed.
Pops released the smoke he inhaled then a solemn sigh. “Gahdamnit boy,” he cursed under his breath. “I didn’t wanna believe it.”
“I know you and uncle Christopher were close so I’m coming to you first out of respect,” Ace continued slowly. “But I’ll be going to the Council to get authorization.”
Pops didn’t need any further clarification. He just nodded slowly.
“Do what you have to do. If the Council approves, you’ll get no pushback from me.”
Ace dipped his chin. “‘Preciate it Pops.”
A heavy silence hung over them with the weight of what this meant. Just as fast as he’d let it come though, Zachariah shook off the emotions that settled on him.
He tapped the ash from his cigar, then looked at Ace again.
Zachariah turned to Ace. “How is your young lady doing?”
Ace couldn’t help the smile that came at the mere mention of Joy.
“She’s good.”
Zachariah nodded. “Good. I’m glad you have her.”
“Why is that?” Ace asked with a tilt of his head.
Ace watched his grandfather take another slow puff of his cigar then put it out.
“We all need somebody,” he said finally.
“I didn’t do a good job of teaching you and your father that,” he admitted.
“I taught y’all how to lead. How to survive in two worlds. How to put the family above everything… Your father found your mama, but I was beginning to think maybe I failed you in that area. This life is tough but having someone to make it home to makes it easier.”
Ace’s jaw tightened slightly. He didn’t know how to respond. He’d spent a lifetime thinking that this was all he’d have. That menaces didn’t get happily ever afters.
He thought of Joy.
Covered in blood and looking like something the world would call broken.
And yet, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
His.
“I’m glad you found someone to share this life with in spite of that,” Pops continued.
Ace nodded and stood. “Yeah… Me too.”