Chapter 14 #2
‘How do you get by?’ From the way his head shot up, she worried she’d overstepped.
‘I have some money from previous sales, and I teach– well, I used to teach.’
‘But you don’t anymore?’
‘Not for a while.’
‘Why not?’
‘Have you ever heard that saying those who can’t do, teach?’ She nodded. ‘Teaching more than painting? It feels like giving in. Admitting that I’ll never paint again.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true and it’s not giving in. There’s nothing wrong with having multiple strings to your bow.’
‘There you go again, being positive.’ She didn’t know whether it was a compliment or not and dropped her eyes.
‘The truth is if I don’t get back to painting or teaching soon, I won’t be able to afford this place.
’ He sighed heavily, and Zoon, attuned to his owner’s sounds, lifted his head, his ears flicking about as he listened.
After a moment, sensing everything was fine, he lay back down and closed his eyes.
‘Then how do we get you back on track?’
Max barked out an unexpected laugh Rosie had no idea how to take. ‘How do you do it?’
‘Do what?’
‘Just tackle everything head on, trusting that it can be solved?’ His question was genuine, as if he was asking for help.
‘It’s a habit, I guess. Like brushing your teeth.
You have to keep doing it until it becomes second nature.
’ She took a sip of her own drink for courage, feeling the soft, citrusy wine slide down her throat.
‘I think some of it is nature. I was always quite easy-going but after my mum died, I– I lost it for a while.’
‘I’m sorry you lost someone so important to you. That must have been incredibly hard.’
‘It was.’ She swallowed. ‘My mum, she– she was the type of person who made everything better just by being around. She got down sometimes, and upset, like everyone, but she’d always encourage us to think positively.
To make things happen for ourselves instead of sitting back and letting the world pass us by.
She was all about being happy with the simple things in life.
Enjoying a bright blue sky or a simple meal.
But, after she’d gone, I felt so lost and.
..’ She couldn’t finish. ‘Then I realised I had to be strong for everyone else– my dad and sister– so I started every day thinking of three things to be grateful for and at night I’d li st three things that went well that day.
I’ve been doing it ever since, so my brain automatically thinks of the things to look forward to. ’
‘And when something goes wrong?’
‘There’s always someone worse off than ourselves. I try and remember that a problem to me could be something someone could only dream of dealing with because everything in their life is so much harder.’
‘Interesting,’ he said, his eyebrows pinching together.
‘I don’t mean to sound preachy.’
‘You don’t,’ he assured her, holding her gaze.
‘My mother, she... isn’t like that at all.
She was proud of me being an artist but she tried to run my career for me, acting as my agent.
It was... too much. It pretty much ruined our relationship.
And when the sales started slowing down, she decided she’d had enough of playing agent and went back to her own life. ’
‘I’m so sorry,’ she replied, appreciating how honest he’d been with her, and feeling even more grateful for the mum she’d had. Even if she hadn’t had her for long. ‘So, what can we do to help you get out of this creative rut?’
He gave a wry smile. ‘To the point as always.’
‘I’m here to help,’ she teased.
‘The honest answer is, I don’t know.’
‘Why don’t you come to the flower market with me tomorrow? You can advise me while I make some displays inspired by today.’
‘Maybe. We’ll see.’
Rosie let out a disappointed breath as quietly as she could. She shouldn’t want him to come as badly as she did, and she still didn’t know anything about this Johanna. She opened her mouth to ask him, her nosiness getting the better of her, when he stood up.
‘I better take Zoon for a walk before bed.’ Hearing his name, the dog rose and stretched. He made his way to Rosie, sniffing her shoes and then leaning against her leg so she could fuss him.
‘You’re such a good boy, aren’t you?’
‘He knows how lucky he is,’ Max added. Then staring at the sky, examining the colours of the night, he said, ‘Maybe I should remember that more too.’ Their eyes met as they had earlier when she’d been so sure that they’d been flirting, his dark and intense.
How did this man trigger so many emotions in her?
If only she could forget what she’d overheard and rid herself of his words repeating in the back of her brain.
‘Goodnight, Rosie,’ he said, drinking the last of his beer and placing the bottle on the table.
Looking into his face, which for once didn’t seem so heavy with worry or frustration, she didn’t have the heart to ask about Johanna– something that might bring the storm clouds back again.
It was clear he was dealing with more than just a break-up.
His career seemed to be poised on a knife edge.
She’d never found her passion before, passing from job to job, but now she had, she didn’t want to lose it.
They were alike in that way: her doing everything she could to keep her tiny pitch at the flower market and build it into something else, him trying to regain his.
She had to find a way to get him painting again.
Watching him leave, Zoon following along behind him, she felt the urge to speak– to see his face one last time. ‘Maybe see you tomorrow?’
He turned and smiled, but she had a feeling they’d delved too deeply tonight, and he’d given far more away than he’d intended. When he spoke, the single-word reply told her she was right.
‘Maybe,’ he said, slipping his hands into his pockets, but she knew he’d withdraw again, hiding in his boat until the rawness of the evening’s exchange had passed.
As the first raindrops began to fall, they fled in opposite directions, away from each other.