Chapter 21
‘W hat are you going to do?’ asked Melody, her voice ringing with concern in Rosie’s ear as she walked the streets of Amsterdam.
After seeing Piet, she couldn’t sit still. Every time she tried, the unreadable instruction from the city council stared at her and Rosie spun between anger and tears. She’d needed to move, and as the summer evening was bright and the sky still clear and blue, she’d decided to go for a walk.
‘You mean once I’ve called Piet and kicked him squarely in the nuts for doing this to me?’
Melody giggled. ‘Yeah, after that.’
‘Come home, I guess.’
‘What? You’re giving up?’
‘It’s not really giving up, is it? I’ve been backed into a corner.’
A bike bell tinkled behind her and she moved out of the way. The streets were still busy, bars and restaurants full of people. She saw the roof of the Rijksmuseum in the distance, the abundant blossoming trees dotting her line of vision.
‘There must be a solution, surely?’
Rosie headed away from the busier road and darted down several quieter streets until she found herself on one that was virtually deserted.
The houses were laid out before her like a painting.
With their flat fronts and windows all lining up with each other, it was as though someone had drawn them.
Old Victorian-style lights stuck out of each one, just above the doors, and the numerous windows reflected the golden evening sun.
On another night like this she might have sat with Max on his boat.
They might have gone on another canal cruise or ridden their bikes around the city, finding hidden spots together.
But that was another reason that made it impossible to stay.
Something special had been taken away from her.
Max was throwing their chance at happiness away.
‘Rosie,’ her sister said. ‘There must be something you can do.’
‘Like what? I just don’t have the money to make all the repairs the boat needs and the landlord can only help a bit.’
‘So what’s he going to do?’
‘I don’t know. Evict me and get rid of the boat, I suppose. Or maybe it’ll sit there unable to be used until he can get someone to get rid of it. I didn’t ask.’
After a few more minutes, Rosie found herself on a picturesque bridge over one of the canals. Flower baskets overflowed with tiny purple, blue and pink blooms. A bike leaned against the red brick and she watched the water flow beneath her.
‘Can you find somewhere else to live?’
‘Not with the money I’m making.’ She’d done some mental maths before her sister had called and she simply didn’t have enough to pay another deposit, let alone a higher rent. Most of all, she didn’t want to.
‘When I realised the boat was called the Forget-Me-Knot , it felt like a sign from Mum. Like I was right where I was supposed to be. Plus, now I’ve made the place my own and it feels like a home. I don’t want to give that up.’
Not to mention she didn’t want to stop living next to Max, even though he seemed to have given up on them.
‘Rosie,’ Melody said firmly. ‘This isn’t like you at all. How many times have you urged me to find solutions rather than dwelling on problems?’
‘This isn’t just a problem, Mels. This is a big problem.
Like, a huge problem. This is the problemest problem of them all.
I don’t think there is a solution to this– not one that I can afford.
I can’t afford to move– nowhere’s within my price range and the thought of it makes me feel sick– and I can’t afford the repairs either. ’
‘It seems to me you’re not thinking straight at the moment, Rosie-Roo.’
‘You’re usually the one telling me to have my feet on the ground.’
‘I know, but... when you get a problem, you don’t think in straight lines, like the rest of us do. You think in waves and circles, finding solutions that no one else would think of. It’s your creative brain, I guess.’
‘Maybe it is, but there’s no beating reality.
I just don’t want to leave,’ Rosie admitted, feeling tears sting the back of her nose once more.
‘This is the only place I’ve felt like I belong.
Where I’ve felt like I have a purpose. Where I might be able to build a future and actually make something of myself.
I can’t go back to doing temp jobs or taking whatever work I can get that pays the rent.
When I go to work every day here, I love it.
I can’t wait to see what the day brings.
Even if I’m missing you and Dad, I know this is where I’m meant to be.
The flower market, the houseboat, they just make me feel like I’m finally. .. me.’
‘Oh, Rosie,’ Mels said. ‘Have you spoken to the city people? Is there a way to work out a schedule of repairs that gets them off your back?’
Rosie paused, the water flowing under the bridge in ripples and waves. She hadn’t thought of that. She’d been too caught up in her anger and annoyance over Piet’s terrible landlording and Max’s withdrawal that she’d closed her mind off.
Her sister’s voice pierced the silence. ‘You’ve gone quiet.’
Rosie realised she’d been standing there thinking, leaving her sister hanging on the other end of the line.
‘You might be on to something there.’
‘Are you telling me that I might have come up with a solution?’
‘I don’t know if it’ll be a solution exactly, but it might buy me some more time at least. Maybe I’ll go and see the city council tomorrow and try and figure this out.’
‘Ha! See! I told you there’d be a solution– or at least, part of one. Glad I could be of service. You’re welcome.’
Rosie giggled and the tension eased slightly from her neck and shoulders. The canal waters flowed, as they always did and always would. It wasn’t a whole plan for dealing with this mess, but it was part of one and who knew, maybe tomorrow would bring another solution.
‘Have you asked the handsome doctor out yet?’
‘Are you changing the subject?’
‘Yes, but I want to know as well. You might have hit on something but I need time to think it through.’ She might also need Max or Emma to act as translator. ‘So?’
Melody groaned and Rosie could picture her head falling into her hands. ‘Not yet.’
‘Why not? You promised you would and you’re already well over deadline.’
‘Because I just can’t. We work together.’
‘Only a bit. You don’t see him every day, do you?’
‘No, not every day.’
‘So work isn’t the problem. You just need to be brave.’
‘I know, I know.’
In the background, Rosie could hear her sister making a cup of tea. The kettle hissed and she wished she was there in her flat, about to curl on the sofa next to her.
‘Well, I’m going to keep bugging you until you do. Do you want me to text you at lunchtime every day to see how you’re doing? Give you a little reminder?’ Teasing her sister was bringing the first smile to her face she’d had all day.
‘No thank you. I can do this. And so can you.’ Melody’s voice turned stern.
‘If this really is where you’ve felt the most like you, the most happy and the most at peace, you can’t give it up.
You can’t just give in because you’ve faced an obstacle.
It’s a big one,’ she added quickly as Rosie inhaled to make a case for her self-pity.
‘But you’ve overcome much worse. You’ve done so amazingly well to get where you are; you can’t let this beat you.
You know I was nervous about you moving there, but I’ve seen how good for you it’s been.
You’ve always thought outside the box. Do it now and I know you can fix this. ’
‘Thank you,’ Rosie whispered, a small, hard lump forming in her throat. She was so lucky to have the family she had. A family that loved and supported her and always had. ‘Love you.’
‘Love you too. Me and Dad– we’re both really proud of you, and I know Mum would be too, no matter what. But she’d be especially proud you’re working to make yourself happy. I have to go. I’ve got to get to work. I’m on nights.’
Rosie said goodbye and stared at the canal.
The sun was dipping in the sky and a slight breeze ruffled the bushy leaves of the trees.
She wanted to be here to see the trees turn red and russet, and their leaves fall to litter the streets.
She wanted to see the city at Christmas, to experience the Amsterdam Light Festival and watch the bright displays highlight the city.
No, she wasn’t prepared to give up. She didn’t have the answer yet, but there must be a solution somewhere. She just had to find it.