Chapter 9 #2
Since arriving in Copenhagen and focusing more on her content creation and helping the café, she’d begun to realise how unfulfilling her regular job was.
She wasn’t unhappy exactly, but for a long time she’d taken the easiest decisions when faced with them.
She knew why. You didn’t need to be a registered therapist to know it all stemmed from the accident.
An accident she’d had after leaving university and gone travelling with Ada, and because of that – because of her parents’ reaction to it – she’d decided not to cause them, or herself, any more fuss and bother.
Her mum had been terrified, offering every comfort she could and trying to protect her from everything, while her dad seemed to use it as an excuse to get his other foot out of the door and leave them both.
She couldn’t blame her mum for how she’d become.
She’d been the one content with the safest and easiest option too.
Which was how she’d ended up working in finance, in a field she wasn’t bothered about, with people who weren’t bothered about her either.
But being here had shown her there was more to life, and it wasn’t just the focus on wellbeing.
It was more than that. Something inside her was changing.
She just had to decide whether to embrace it or not.
Right now, she knew her time there had that holiday feeling, which would fade eventually, and when it did, it wouldn’t matter where she was, she’d feel the same: unfulfilled and stuck.
Something needed to change but she wasn’t quite clear, or brave enough, to think about what exactly that was.
Not yet. Perhaps the Happiness Museum would have some tips on taking the hygge lifestyle back home with her, because that’s where she’d be in a few months’ time. Back home. In Milton Keynes.
Milly navigated the cobbled streets, grateful she didn’t have to wear heels like she did in her normal job, and arrived at the innocuous-looking museum.
It was more like a house, like any other in the streets she’d passed, and she didn’t hold out much hope about what would be inside.
She paid the entrance fee to the smiling visitor assistant and began to wander through.
Its mission was that guests would leave a little wiser, a little happier and a little more motivated to make the world a better place.
She liked that idea instantly and again, it summed up Denmark and the way people looked after each other and not just themselves.
Milly made her way through the exhibits, taking part in some of the questionnaires, and began to realise the museum was right: she, like so many others, often did look for happiness in all the wrong places.
While purchasing a candle and a fluffy banket gave her the feels for a short while, and was the TikTok hygge aesthetic, the reality was it was more about lighting the candle and taking the time to enjoy the soft glow it gave along with the calming effect it had on her soul.
Instead of simply using the blanket to cuddle under in the colder months and film it for Instagram, it was about appreciating the feel of the blanket against her skin and the feeling of warmth it gave inside, rather than out.
As she walked around, Milly began to realise that all the things she owned in her comfortable flat were just that – things.
At the end of the day, they made life comfortable, but they didn’t actually mean anything.
What really made her happy were the connections she made with people, whether online or in life.
She loved her little online community, and she loved talking to different people every day in the café.
And while she’d loved Tom, it was clear that their love had begun to disappear long before he’d hidden with Claire in the stationery cupboard.
That was why Milly’s heart was happy to fill itself with thoughts of Theo.
As if to confirm she was right, she walked into a small room covered in sticky notes.
Every available surface had them stuck to it and on each one, someone had written what made them happy.
As usual, there were the funny ones: ones with things like ‘Harry Styles’ written on them.
Others had things like ‘my health’, or ‘being a cancer survivor’, which touched her deeply as, like so many others, she often took her health for granted.
But the majority of the others were about the people in their lives: wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers.
The close connections that made someone’s world important, that made them important to other people.
It was beautiful and it made her want to make changes to her own life to embrace gratitude every day.
But what did changing her life mean? Did it mean staying here?
Could she even change her life completely?
She wasn’t sure she was that courageous.
And what would her mum say? The last thing she wanted to do was up and move her entire life to a city she’d only been in for a few weeks and regret it; it would cause her mum a great deal of stress for no reason if she ended up coming straight home again.
She liked Theo and he liked her. She wasn’t imagining the attraction between them.
An attraction that was both physical and emotional.
While the physical side had come on strong, even during their first meeting, if she were honest, the more she got to know him, the more she liked him.
Every time she found out something else about him, like his surprising love of K-pop or his love for his family, she liked what she heard and felt somehow closer to him.
But what would happen if it all went wrong?
He didn’t seem a summer-fling type of guy, and she wasn’t that type of girl.
If she was in, she was in, and he seemed the same way.
With her leaving at the end of the summer, there was no way for them to have a relationship and for it to work out well.
Not if she was returning home in a few months’ time.
Unfortunately, she was now feeling in more of a jumble as she left than when she’d walked in. The smiling assistant said, ‘Did you enjoy your visit?’
‘I did, though I have to be honest, I’m not sure what to do to make myself happy. I thought I’d come out of here with a list of activities or affirmations or something, and now I feel more confused than ever. Sorry, I’m probably not supposed to feel that way, am I?’
He laughed. ‘Everyone feels differently when they leave here. For some it answers lots of questions, for others it poses them. But I think happiness is simple really.’ His expression was open and honest and not at all judgemental, which she appreciated.
‘It’s knowing what’s good for your soul and prioritising it.
I think there’s a misconception that hygge is one thing – one set of feelings or activities – but it isn’t.
It isn’t always the same every day. One day it can be being with people and another day it can be being on your own.
One day it might be a picnic in the park in the sunshine with friends, another day it might be coffee and reading your book alone at home or in a café.
Basically, it’s about finding happiness in the everyday things in life we take for granted, enjoying each precious moment and making ourselves happy, even in the tough times.
At least,’ he added shyly, ‘it is for me. Does that help?’
‘It does,’ she replied, his words swirling in her head. She wished she’d written them down, so she didn’t forget them. They seemed profound in some way. Important. ‘Now, here’s another important question for you. I’m starving. Where should I go for lunch?’
He laughed again. ‘Copenhagen has so many places, but are you a foodie?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Have you been to Reffen yet?’
She shook her head.
‘Go and explore there. It’s the foodie centre of Copenhagen with an amazing market full of different food vendors. It’s across the water so you’ll need to get the water bus, but it’s very easy.’
She wondered why Theo hadn’t mentioned it to her before, given his love of food and flavour combinations.
She’d go and find somewhere to eat and think about everything she’d just discovered, and hopefully by the end of it, her feelings would have settled into something less tumultuous and scary.
She was definitely not used to being this vulnerable or confused. She wasn’t used to it at all.