Chapter 18
Milly hadn’t really known what to expect when they arrived at Tivoli Gardens.
The entrance had looked like the way into any other theme park, but as they’d gone through the gates following a wide gravel path with a huge Chinese theatre on one side and another grand white classical building down the way, she was suddenly very, very surprised.
Theo took her hand as he led her through a pergola with purple orchids hanging down from overhead.
‘This is gorgeous,’ she replied. She felt like a child in a magical world and couldn’t believe this existed in the middle of the city. The sound of the amusements, the rides, and children screaming in glee permeated the air.
As they walked through to see upmarket-looking restaurants and a huge piece of grass in front of a stage, she turned to Theo.
‘It’s incredible here.’
She hadn’t been to a place like this in a long, long time.
Not since she was a child and even then, she couldn’t remember feeling as enraptured as she was right now.
She was tuning in to her emotions and really feeling everything.
Since coming to Copenhagen and trying to embrace this way of life, she’d paid more attention to how her thoughts manifested in her body, and right now she was overjoyed, playful. Most of all, happy.
‘It is beautiful, isn’t it? There’s a fun concert later of hits to sing along to, but first, we need to go on some rides.’
Theo took her hand, guiding her down a pathway. He led the way with ease as though he’d been here a hundred times before, knowing exactly which way to go though there were so many different routes, all leading in different directions.
‘Tivoli is one of the oldest theme parks in the world,’ he announced proudly as they stood in front of a ride that looked like the teacups but in space. ‘It’s said it inspired Walt Disney.’
‘Really?’
He nodded and turned to face the ride in front of them.
Milly pointed. ‘I’m not going on that, by the way.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it looks like a death trap.’
While it was cute, she had, unsurprisingly given her past, a fear of most rides, especially fast ones.
‘How dare you! I’ll have you know, these have been going for years, and all are maintained to the highest safety standards. We Danes may have a happy, carefree lifestyle but we take this sort of thing very seriously. Come on, you’ll enjoy it.’
‘Are you sure it’s safe?’ she asked, finding that she wanted to try, to experience this with Theo whom she felt safe with.
‘Perfectly.’
‘That doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.’ She’d quite like to see a safety manual or something as remnants of the fear she’d felt all those years ago during the accident began to inch into her mind.
Theo rolled his eyes and held out his hand. Gingerly, Milly took it, trusting him. He seemed to understand her more than anyone ever had and he didn’t even know about the accident. She let her hand fall into his and Theo led them to the queue.
As they were strapped in with a harness, her worries began to climb.
The ride got started, and Milly felt the fear rise up like the water of the canal had climbed over her body when she sunk in.
It started slowly, then the speed began to increase, which made her feel slightly sick.
She took a deep breath and told herself to calm down.
She wasn’t a wimp. She’d ridden rides like this before and that’s all it was – a ride.
It wasn’t going to be anything like she’d experienced during the accident.
Once, Tom had taken her for a day out to Thorpe Park in England and insisted she get on the most terrifying of rides.
She’d pretended to enjoy them, even though it had gone against her longing for life to be easy and safe.
Yet, she didn’t feel that with Theo and as the ride gathered speed, she tuned in once more to how it felt in her body.
The carriage began to swing them backwards and forwards and, knowing she was safe, fear turned into adrenalin and exhilaration.
While she didn’t want to do this every day, it felt good and seeing the smile on Theo’s face was even better.
He had the innocent happiness of a child and as he grinned at her, she could tell he was willing her to enjoy this too.
She let out a scream just like the teenagers near her and it felt good, like she was pushing all the fear from her body.
She didn’t stop until the ride began to slow.
‘See,’ he said as they got off. ‘That wasn’t so bad. It was fun!’
As adrenalin rushed through her, she grinned and he led through more amusements.
‘Look!’ she cried, pointing with sudden excitement. ‘A hook-a-duck! I haven’t done one of these since I was a kid.’
‘Would you like me to win you a teddy bear?’
As his chest puffed with pride at the prospect she giggled. ‘I’d love you to.’
They paid the attendant, and Theo was given a short stick with a hook at the end. He swiped at a duck, missing it completely and knocking it over into the water. The second attempt was the same. He concentrated hard, his brow furrowed, his eyes pinched.
‘This isn’t as easy as I remember,’ he joked but a hint of redness crept up his neck under the attendant’s amused gaze.
With no success, he went back to his original technique of swiping wildly but with nothing to show for it. He scratched the back of his head as he handed the stick back, and seeing his frustrated expression, Milly laughed.
‘It’s harder than it looks!’ he replied, breaking into the childlike grin of earlier.
‘Well, maybe I’ll win you something.’ She showed her wristband allowing her to play and took the small rod-like stick. She missed her first one.
‘See!’ Theo said, pushing his hands into his pockets.
She moved more slowly this time and with a dip of the rod, hooked a duck. As it dangled from the end she turned to Theo grinning.
He rolled his eyes. ‘Show-off.’
‘What teddy would you like, Theo?’ she asked taking his arm and looking up at him playfully.
‘That one,’ he said, pointing at duck-shaped one and laughing. The attendant handed it over and he tucked it under his arm as they walked away.
‘I’m going to name him Roddy.’
‘But Roddy’s a boy’s name, and she’s definitely a girl,’ she commented, giggling.
‘So! she’s mine and I can call him what I like. What about Birgit, if it’s a girl?’
‘Good name. Better than Roddy.’
They began to walk around the beautiful gardens, seeing more plants than she’d ever know the names of and beautiful displays of flowers. The beds overflowed with bright blossoms and the smell of the blooms was almost overpowering. She took a breath, feeling the pollen tickle her throat and lungs.
‘So what do you think?’ Theo asked.
‘I love it. It’s like being in a fairyland.’
‘It’s magical, isn’t it? Everyone comes here. It isn’t just for children.’
‘I can see that,’ she replied with a grin as she watched a bunch of older teenagers laughing as they ran to their next ride.
Down another pathway and they emerged into a small, designed garden.
There were large round water fountains in the flower beds, and they reminded her of giant lily pads.
People sat on the seats around the edge enjoying the quiet calm and she looked over to see a small lake.
It really was a beautiful, magical place.
But the magic faded as she remembered she still needed to tell him that her sabbatical had only been extended for another month.
Internally, Milly fought on whether now was the right time.
It probably wasn’t, but the last thing she wanted was secrets.
They were too early in their relationship for those and if it was to have any future, she had to tell him now so they could figure out what they were going to do. She took a deep breath.
‘Theo?’
‘Hmm?’ He paused from smelling a tall, flowering plant. Milly had no idea what it was called.
‘I need to tell you something?’
‘Oh?’
Nerves swarmed in her stomach like angry bees. ‘It’s about my stay.’
His face darkened as though the sun had suddenly hidden behind the trees. She saw him swallow slowly and heavily and thought about saying something else and not ruining this moment, but she’d come this far, and she had to continue.
‘I asked for my sabbatical to be extended, but they’d only do it for a month.’
‘Right.’ She watched his features as the words sunk in. The unspoken result occurring to him as it had to her. His jaw tightened. ‘And what will you do then?’
‘I don’t know.’ She shrugged, helplessly.
‘I see.’
He turned and continued walking, the fun of the evening tinged by her omission, but she didn’t regret telling him.
She thought about suggesting long distance but deep down she knew she wanted to stay.
She just didn’t how that could happen, or how she could make it work.
She couldn’t take Ada’s room forever and right now there didn’t feel like any other opportunities for making an actual living.
She could move and take a job in financial consulting, but the idea only made her sad. She followed, her mind racing.
Theo considered what she’d said, his face clouded. Then he held out his hand and though the shadow didn’t fade, his expression softened. ‘We should get something to eat.’
Hand in hand but with the idea of her leaving at the end of the summer hanging over them, they wandered until the sun went down, admiring the deep orange sunset visible behind the now twinkling attractions.
They ate from a hot dog stand, Milly aware of Theo watching her as she devoured the sausage and bun.
The cool evening air tempered her body, but as he once more took her hand, pulling her close and kissing her, she couldn’t deny what she wanted. She wanted him, and this, forever.
With the sun setting in the sky, and a breeze skimming across the water of the lake, they walked on.
‘We should find a spot,’ he said, wrapping an arm around her waist.
She held the silly stuffed animal she’d won close and let him lead her. ‘Where are we going now?’