Chapter 19 #2
And as for hygge, thanks to her notebook she was finally beginning to understand some things.
It was about slowing down, savouring moments, enjoying the simple things, focusing more on living every moment of her life to the full instead of rushing and working herself to the bone.
Which only made her consulting idea even more important because she just knew it was where her heart truly lay professionally.
Life, she now knew, was about enjoying the sound of the canal outside her window, feeling the sun on her face as she walked to work, taking a deep breath of her scented candle as she collapsed into a hot bath after a hard day at the café.
It was about responding to all the messages her community sent her thanking her for her tips or asking her questions.
But she’d never voiced these things out loud before and as she did, she found the uncertainty falling away and the need to speak about her dreams pushing her to be brave. If anyone would understand, Ada would.
She launched into it, verbalising the thoughts that had just run through her head.
‘Wow,’ Ada said. ‘That’s a lot.’
‘There’s more,’ Milly said, with a half-smile, bracing herself to finally say the other, more important thing that had been on her mind lately. ‘I think I’m in love with Theo.’
Ada sat bolt upright. ‘You think or you know?’
‘I mean, I am. I am in love with Theo. I think – I think he might be … you know …’
Ada gasped. ‘The One?’
‘Yeah. Is that crazy? We haven’t known each other all that long.’
‘So? That doesn’t matter. It’s about how you feel and to be honest, you probably know him better than I do and I’ve lived with him for, like, two years. It was clear from the start that you two had a special connection. All that matters is how you feel.’
‘Then,’ Milly began, a wide smile taking over so it was almost difficult to talk, ‘I’m in love with Theo. Definitely. I never felt this way with Tom or with anyone. We have a connection.’
‘Yay!’ Ada rolled over in her tent, squealing with excitement and kicking her legs. ‘I knew you were. I could see it that day I locked you in the cupboard.’
‘That wasn’t funny,’ Milly replied trying and failing to sound annoyed.
The breeze fluttered the curtain at the window, and she heard a heavy splash. Theo had gone for a swim, but she wasn’t going to stare at him out of the window. After all, she’d be back in his arms soon enough. Arms that had never felt so sexy, loving or safe.
‘So what are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know.’ She shifted position, sitting upright and hugging a cushion. She moved the phone to the bedside cabinet, propping it up against the lamp.
‘You could stay in Copenhagen.’
‘But could I? Really?’
‘Of course you could. And you should. I mean, what are you actually going back to?’
‘A job I don’t like and don’t want, a flat that’s got no personality whatsoever and is full of random stuff I don’t really need, and a life that isn’t half as fulfilling as it is here.’
Ada let Milly’s words settle in the air for a moment, then added, ‘I think you have your answer, babe.’
‘But what about Mum? She’ll totally freak out.’
‘So! She’ll freak out no matter what you do. If you decided to move half an hour away, or to London, or to another apartment in Milton Keynes, she’d freak out about that too. I love your mum to bits, but you can’t not live your life because of her. The accident was a long time ago.’
Milly took a breath, knowing Ada was right, but at the same moment, difficult painful memories flooded back and after that morning and Theo stroking her scarred skin, she wasn’t able to stop them.
Thinking of the ride she’d gone on at Tivoli Gardens, and knowing she was safe, she allowed the difficult feelings and painful memories to drench her.
When she and Ada had gone travelling around Europe before university, there’d been a horrible road accident.
India had been the must-see country on their list. They’d been entranced by its spiritualism and how different it was to anything they’d ever known, and they’d been enjoying it.
Up until the day they stupidly tried to ride a moped.
The roads had been busier than anything she’d ever seen, with traffic weaving everywhere, in and out of tiny spaces, crossing non-existent lanes, undertaking and overtaking – it was crazy.
It had been terrifying, but they’d decided to try and power through rather than pull over and admit defeat.
They’d been full of youthful confidence but really they should have listened to their instincts.