Chapter 19 #3
I press my hand against my own arm. I trace the marks with my fingertips. I can’t stay here forever.
I cannot let myself believe this is real.
I am going to get my heart broken if I don’t leave now.
I take a slow breath, my heart hurting with every second going by.
The only reason I kept having sex with them was because of my heat.
I really need to be alone and think about this more clearly.
They’re in love with me and told me a million times, but I don’t want to lead them on just in case I don’t feel the same.
I wrap the towel tighter and step back into the bedroom.
There’s a pile of clean clothes the brothers had purchased for me days ago, folded on the dresser. A soft green sweater, jeans, a bra, and underwear. I reach for them. But I stop when I notice something sticking out from under the bed.
There is a small black velvet ring box pushed underneath, half hidden.
My heart stops.
It is not what I think. It cannot be what I think. It is something else. A watch. A cufflink. Something for one of the brothers, not for me.
I pick it up with trembling fingers.
The hinge is stiff. I open it.
It’s most definitely a ring. And it’s so beautiful. It’s a small antique gold band with a single peridot stone—the exact color of new leaves. Pale green with gold flecks. The exact color of my eyes.
I snap the box shut. My hands are shaking so badly I almost drop it. I shove it back under the bed, exactly where I found it, pushing it deep and rearranging the bedskirt to hide it.
It’s not for me. It can’t be for me.
We only got to know each other for a few days. This is too fast. My hands won’t stop shaking as I quickly get dressed. This makes me more determined to get some space from them just to think. My heart pounds as I tiptoe out of the bedroom.
My heart is hammering against my ribs so hard I can hear it in my ears. I walk straight to the front of the penthouse where my slippers are by the door.
“Where are you going?” says a deep voice, and I jump as I’m putting on my slippers. I turn, seeing Ezra there, fully naked and his hair messy. Suddenly, the rest of his brothers join in to see the commotion.
Oh god.
“Nowhere.”
“Liana,” he says again. “Where are you going?”
I straighten up. Face them. Force a smile that feels brittle on my face. I can’t keep delaying this.
“Thank you,” I say, trying to make my voice sound light. “For letting me stay and taking care of me through my heat. It was amazing. But my flower shop has been closed for days. I need to get back to my real life.”
Ezra’s face changes. Something shutters behind his eyes. Julian takes one step forward. Cole’s jaw tightens. August’s eyes go wide behind his glasses.
“Your real life,” Ezra says slowly. Like he’s asking a question.
I do not meet his eyes. “My flowers are dying. I have a wedding bouquet that’s two days overdue. I’ve been gone too long.”
“You know what we mean. You’re still our omega, right?” asks Julian slowly.
The question hangs in the room.
They never officially asked me, and I never gave a commitment.
The four brothers are all looking at me. Their bodies have gone very still. They look like men who have just realized they may have read the same situation completely differently than I have.
“I need time,” I say. Quietly. My eyes are on the floor. “This has been a lot. The last five days have been the most intense days of my life, and I don’t want to make a decision about the rest of my life right now.”
“What?” says August in shock.
I take a breath. “I need to sleep in my own bed tonight. I need to be alone with my own thoughts.”
Please do not push me. Please let me go.
Ezra is looking at me with a steady, controlled grief I have never seen on his face before. His hands are fisted at his sides. Julian has gone very pale. August has tears in his eyes, tracking silently down his cheeks. Cole is the only one who moves.
He crosses the great room slowly and stops a careful arm’s length from me.
“At least let me walk you home,” he says quietly.
“Alright,” I say, biting my lip. Seeing the heartbreak of a lack of commitment in their eyes makes me want to cry. I don’t want to leave. I love them. But I stop myself from saying the words because I don’t want to make the biggest mistake of my life. I already miss them.
Cole quickly throws on a jacket and jeans as the rest of the alphas stand there to watch me go. After being with them so intimately for days, it feels like I’m ripping a piece of my heart out.
Pepper, on his perch by the windows, has fluffed all his feathers up to twice his normal size. He is watching us in unusual silence, his yellow head cocked, his pupils pinned to tiny black points.
Cole opens the front door of the penthouse for me. As I step through, I glance back over my shoulder. Ezra is looking at me. His gray eyes are wet. Julian has not moved with shock, and August’s glasses are misty.
The elevator closes behind us in silence.
Cole does not speak. He stands beside me in the descending car, his body warm and solid and steady, and he does not ask me why I’m leaving.
I am grateful for that.