Chapter 7 – Mackenzie
CHAPTER
SEVEN
MACKENZIE
Iawake with a start at the pounding on the front door.
Sitting up, I feel like I got hit by a train—my head is pounding, my eyes dry and irritated.
Looking down, I realize I’m still in my leather suit from the party last night.
I don’t know how I ever fell asleep in this outfit that feels more like a second skin than a jumpsuit.
It’s suctioned to my body; I might have to cut myself out of it.
I grab my phone to see that I missed my morning class—and that there are several missed calls and texts from Trey. I don’t plan on replying to any of them. I sink back down and pull a pillow over my face.
The knocking starts again and I know who it is without a doubt.
“Kenzie, baby, please answer the door.”
My stomach churns at the thought of seeing him. I know what I saw last night and my eyes sting as the images flash through my head.
My boyfriend—with a girl on his lap. The same girl who has chased after him since we started freshman year.
The jersey chaser, puck bunny, whatever you want to call her—Kayla.
I’ve heard rumors, but Trey always dismisses them as nothing.
A year ago, I would’ve believed him because that Trey would never give me a reason to doubt him.
After last night, I don’t know what to believe.
I peel off the costume—thankfully without needing scissors or the jaws of life. I throw on an oversized hoodie with a pair of running shorts, I toss my long blonde hair in a messy bun before opening the door.
Relief floods Trey’s face as we make eye contact, but I only narrow my eyes, trying to mask the hurt with anger. He swallows nervously, realizing this isn’t like every other time he’s talked me down from hearing about Kayla.
“Baby.” I see tears in his eyes—Trey rarely cries. My mask falters as I hesitantly let him into my apartment. I give myself a silent pep talk to hold my ground and not be swayed by his sweet words and handsome face.
As I follow him in, I’m grateful my parents paid for my own apartment.
I did the whole roommate thing for a couple of years and it was miserable.
I haven’t made many friends here in California besides Trey’s teammates and their significant others, but even that is surface level at best. Most of my time outside of school has been volunteering at local elementary schools or alone with Trey.
Well—until he decided partying was more important than me.
Before I can say anything, he pulls me to him in an embrace that feels like home and like I’m hugging a complete stranger. The thought sends a shudder ripping through me.
I quickly pull away and step back from him, his sadness morphing into a tense frown. His emotions flip so easily now, or maybe I’m just noticing it because I’ve always been enthralled with this man. I’ve ignored so many red flags, convincing myself he didn’t have any.
“Kenzie, let me explain. It’s not what you think.”
“So, Kayla wasn’t sitting in your lap when I walked into your house last night?”
I notice his hands fist at his side before he answers. He’s angry and used to me taking his every word as gospel truth. That ends now. That should have ended a long time ago, if I’m being honest.
“She sat there. Nothing was happening, and I wasn’t going to do anything with her.”
A hard laugh escapes me before I can stop it, and Trey’s eyes flare with something I haven’t seen before. It scares me. I hesitate, unsure of which version I’ll get: the boy I fell in love with or the man I’m starting to fear.
“Something you want to say, Kenz?” That dark tone is ominous, and this is it. This angry version of Trey Spencer that didn’t exist, or he hid, until a year ago.
Pulling on my big-girl panties, I have my chance to ask him what I need to know. “Have you ever cheated on me with her?”
“No.” He answers me so quickly, I’m not sure he even heard my question. For the first time since we started dating, I don’t believe him.
“I think we should take a break.” The words I’ve been thinking and feeling for a few weeks now leave and I feel relief for about three seconds before he steps into my space and backs me into a corner of the living room.
My heart rate skyrockets as the man staring into my eyes is not my Trey. His eyes are dark as he puts his hands on the wall on either side of my head and leans in too close.
“Want to say that again? I know I didn’t hear you say you wanted a break.”
My body shakes. He hasn’t touched me, but I’m afraid.
I have to defuse this situation before things get out of hand.
Trey has never put his hands on me in a violent way.
Ever. But he’s been lying and raging, moods changing at the drop of a hat.
He’s unrecognizable like this and I don’t know what he’s capable of.
“Trey, can we sit down or something? You’re scaring me.” He jolts at my words almost like he was having an out-of-body experience and I brought him back to reality. He steps back and we both walk to sit on the couch, I sit at the opposite end, two cushions between us.
I finally answer his question, my voice trembling, but it’s necessary. “I think we should take a break. I need some time and we can talk after we go home for Thanksgiving.”
“No. That’s weeks, Kenzie. I’m not going to let you do this just so you can go home alone and single to see Jordan Mills on Thanksgiving.”
“Trey, it’s not like that and you know it.”
“What I know, Mackenzie, is that every time we fight, you run to him and he’s more than happy to have you there. He wants you. He always has. But I won’t let you go. You are mine.”
Okay—to be fair—I have turned to Jordan in times of crisis.
It started unintentionally, just a vent session here and there, but in the last six months he’s become the person I talk to the most about everything, not just my relationship.
Trey hates that I’m friends with him and I even cut off communication for a little while, but it’s unfair that Trey can be friends with girls like Kayla and I can’t be friends with someone I’ve known since I was fourteen.
I’m not putting up with double standards. Not anymore.
“I’m sorry, Trey. I know my friendship with Jordan hurts you. But I don’t have any feelings for him. I promise. I’ve loved you for eight years. I choose you and I always have.”
He nods, his temper cooling slightly and I feel my shoulders relax only a little, knowing that he won’t let it go completely.
“I know, baby. He wants you though. A man can tell when someone is after his girl and I see it. I hate that he’s Reagan’s brother and your families are always together. I won’t stand for him moving in on you.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I promise, there is nothing there on my end. Jordan is always out and dating around, so just trust me with my feelings for you.”
“Okay. But one wrong move, and I’m going to say something to him. Again.”
“Listen Trey, we need to talk about last night. Why do you think it’s okay to entertain Kayla?
You know the rumors… It hurt me. You think it’s hurtful that I sometimes talk to my friend who lives on the other side of the country?
Try seeing someone sitting on your lap in front of me!
You broke a piece of my heart last night, Trey. ”
The boy I’ve loved since high school, now the man I thought I’d be with forever, drops to his knees in front of me. Magically, his tears return, but we’ve been here before. I don’t know how much longer I can go through this with him.
“Kenzie, baby, I can’t do life without you.
You’re my world. My everything. I love you so much.
These puck bunnies and other girls, they’re nothing.
You never come out with me and they all think it’s okay.
But I promise, nothing happened. Please, don’t break us.
I won’t make it without you. I need you. ”
My breathing stalls as I listen to things that Trey used to say in love and now they’re manipulation and threats with a side of guilt.
“Trey, I hear what you’re saying. Things between us have felt off for a while now and I need to clear my head and figure some things out. We aren’t broken up, but I want space. I don’t think you should come to my house for Thanksgiving either.”
He pulls my hand to his lips, still on his knees, he kisses each of my fingers, and I feel my resolve melting bit by bit. “Please, don’t do this. I need you. Only you. You can have space and I won’t come on Thanksgiving, but promise me that we’ll work through this together. You won’t leave me?”
I close my eyes, trying to summon the strength to follow through and give us what we both need, but don’t want. “Okay. If we get to this place again, I’m done. Whether it’s rumors or truth, I can’t live my life with someone who isn’t faithful to me.”
He’s up, scooping me into his lap before sitting back on the couch. A winning smile spreads across his face, tears long gone. “I promise. Things will be different from now on.”
I nod, but deep down I know the countdown to the end of our relationship has started. I’m scared to end it, but for the first time, I’m more afraid to stay.