Chapter 10 – Mackenzie
CHAPTER
TEN
MACKENZIE
Today is the day, and I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. In the last few weeks, I’ve made plans for my future, and it’s time to put them into motion.
I’ve been keeping secrets.
A lot of secrets.
I didn’t sleep last night, worry and anxiety flooding me as I went through every worst-case scenario that could happen when I see Trey today.
Luckily, my parents are in the backyard weeding their garden, so I feel safer here.
In what world would I ever have to worry about being safe with Trey?
Apparently, this one. The thought saddens me, but it confirms I’m making the right decision. Hopefully, he sees it the same way.
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I finish emptying the contents of my stomach. As I wash my hands and look in the mirror, I’m unrecognizable. Dark circles shadow my face, and my eyes are red-rimmed. I’m exhausted—physically and mentally.
I look horrible.
My palms sweat as I rub them down my jeans.
I just threw up, and I feel another wave of nausea rolls through me.
It’s not the hulking hockey player that scares me; it’s the twisted, toxic mind that manipulates me and guilts me back into his arms. Tears sting my eyes, and shame fills in the cracks between the fear.
My front door swings open, and I freeze. I hear him call my name and whisper a silent prayer, then put on a brave face and walk into the living room.
“Kenzie.” I can’t tell if he’s happy to see me or not. He smiles, but his eyes aren’t in it. A dark countenance overshadows any light he used to have.
“Hey, Trey.” That’s all I can manage as my limbs are starting to shake with fear and anticipation.
Bracing for the worst, I tense slightly. The emotional rollercoaster we’ve been on for the last year has taken its toll and I’m ready to get off this ride. Before I can think, the words spill out, “I’m not going back to California with you.”
“Say that again because I know I didn’t hear you correctly when you said you weren’t coming home with me.” His face hardens. While it typically would cause me to backpedal, it lights a fire deep inside me—anger at this man who claims to love me.
I don’t know where it comes from, but without an ounce of fear, I speak my truth.
“Trey, I’m not going back to California.
” As the words leave me, I see him take a step closer and a flicker of nerves spark inside.
I keep telling myself Trey would never physically hurt me, but at this point, I don’t know.
“Yes, you are. You have a job there. I’m buying a house. We’re starting the next chapter.” His hands fist at his sides, knuckles white with seething anger.
I take a lungful of air before spilling one of the secrets I’ve been keeping. “The school board cut positions, and mine was one of them.”
He does the last thing I expect, he laughs. Not a little chuckle—full-on, belly laugher. I stand there and watch him until he comes to an abrupt stop. Darkness sweeps over his once-beautiful grey eyes, like a storm is brewing.
“You’re serious?”
“Yes.” His perfect mask slips and I see a moment, I see vulnerability and the face of the boy I loved—who became the man I don’t recognize.
“What are you going to do? Are you staying home?” He peppers me with questions, and I don’t want to answer any of them. I stand quietly, looking down at my feet. His raised voice startles me. “Answer me!”
This is not going well. And I have a feeling it’s about to get worse.
He reaches out and grabs my arm, his grip biting. Panic spikes, praying my parents come inside. Maybe I need to yell.
“Trey, stop. You’re hurting me.”
“Oh, I’m hurting you? I’m sorry. You’re throwing our plans away!
You’re so selfish, Kenzie. Have you thought about me at all?
” He yanks me back to face him, he releases my arm finally, but then his fingers clamp my chin up in a punishing grip forcing me to look him in the eye.
I’m going to bruise tomorrow. Tears well as I prepare myself for his wrath.
“This will be fine. You don’t need to work anyway. You can travel with me and we can figure it out as we go.” His voice is deep, serious, and the tone cuts to the bone. There’s no emotion, like he’s cut off from his feelings. It’s terrifying to witness.
“No, Trey. I’m not doing that. I think we should break up. We both know this relationship has been over for a long time.”
He releases my chin and takes a step back, covering his face with his hands for a moment. I hear him take a deep breath, then he takes two steps back.
“No.” He laughs—cruelly—before walking back into my space, so close I have to lean back so he doesn’t knock me over.
“Listen to me, Mackenzie. You think you can end us? No. I’m ending it.
This is over. I only stuck around because I felt bad for you.
I won’t let you pull me down anymore. I should’ve listened to everyone when they said not to keep you around. ”
“It’s time for you to leave, Trey.” My dad’s booming voice cuts in and I immediately relax. Trey didn’t know my parents were home, or he wouldn’t have acted that way. I’m grateful for the timing and now they see who he is at his core.
Forever trying to save face, Trey plasters on a smile. “Mr. Banks, I didn’t realize you were there.”
“Clearly. I don’t want you coming here again. You’re not welcome and you best stay away from Mackenzie, too.”
The mask falls off Trey’s face. His jaw grinds. “You’re dead weight, Kenz. I don’t know why I stayed so long. You’re pathetic. All those rumors about Kayla? They were true. Every single one.”
My dad lunges, but I haul him back just in time.
Trey turns on his heel and barrels out the front door, slamming it behind him.
My dad reverses us, holding me in his arms instead. “Thank you, Daddy.” I whisper, barely keeping it in.
He kisses the top of my head and holds me tight to his chest as the first tears escape. “Mackenzie, baby girl, if I’d known… I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this alone.”
At that, I lose it. I sob and scream and cry.
I let out the pain, anger, and hurt that’s been my life with Trey over the past year.
I mourn what we had—when it was love. I’m not sure when it died, but what came after is nothing I ever want again.
I don’t know how long I stay in my dad’s embrace, but my eyes are red and puffy.
“Mack, we’ll sort this out. Your mom and I will be more than happy to have you here, or do whatever we can to help you.”
I nod. “Thank you. I think I’m going to go lie down, but I’d like to talk to y’all about my plans after dinner.”
I squeeze my dad once more and trudge upstairs into my bathroom.
I look in the mirror and see a girl I barely recognize. But she’s there. She came back today—when she finally put herself first. And she’s never leaving again.
I walk out and into my bedroom, I make myself a promise: I will never cry another tear for Trey Spencer.
Time to start living my life for me.
A week later, I walk into a cold, sterile room and the stark white walls do nothing to ease my nerves. All the bruises have faded on the outside, but internally, I’m still a mess.
I sit in a chair, and don’t bother hauling myself onto the exam table with its annoying crinkly paper. I already know what’s coming. What I’m here for.
A knock sounds, and the door swings open as a beautiful woman with dark wavy hair and twinkling brown eyes walks in, taking a seat across from me on a stool.
Silence stretches because she doesn’t need to say it for me to know it’s true, but she does anyway.
“Well, Mackenzie, you’re pregnant.”
And just like that, my world changes.