Chapter 41
Evan
Somewhere along the way, I fucked up.
I miscalculated everything, especially the effect she’d have on me.
I thought I was immune to feelings, that I could keep it all detached.
But now I’m in so fucking deep, with a woman I had no business messing around with in the first place.
Crawling out of this mess feels unfeasible, and this coming from a man who’s capable of doing anything.
Who would have thought Anais Lauder, of all people, would sink her claws into me?
Make me feel things I never wanted to feel.
Guess the joke’s on me, because I certainly didn’t think it was possible.
The brat pulled off something I believed was impossible, and now I have to figure out how to get out of this…
predicament, I willingly walked myself into.
Jesus fucking Christ. How did I allow things to get so complicated? The moment I stuck my dick in her virgin pussy, my rational mind short circuited. All I could think about was doing it again and again… and fucking again.
I saw the way Anais looked at me – on my shower floor, when I made love to her and at the Rothman party. There’s no doubt in my mind, she’s in love. I’m going to break her heart. But what choice do I have? We can’t be together, no matter what she believes.
Groaning, I run a palm down my face, desperate for a way to make this easier on her.
Despite what she might think, I don’t want to hurt her.
Truthfully, I care... too much. And that’s the problem.
Christ, I dropped nearly a million dollars on a fucking panoramic elevator, just to make her feel better about riding to my floor.
And then there’s the piece of jewelry I might have stopped a certain prick prince from buying, because I couldn’t stand the thought of him owning something he compared to her eyes…
God damn woman is costing me millions.
Because, though you are not willing to admit it, you love her.
That small voice jolts me upright in my chair, heart pounding, alarm flooding me.
I shake my head, ridding myself of the ridiculous notion.
Fuck me, I really am losing my mind if that voice is telling me I’m in love.
I need to sort my shit out before I slip into complete oblivion and do something stupid – like make Anais mine forever.
A knock on my door pulls me from my wayward thoughts. I call out, inviting whoever it is to enter… only to immediately regret it, when the source of my turmoil steps inside, a wide smile lighting up her beautiful face.
“Hey.”
Every muscle in my body locks down at the sound of her voice. And because I’m reminded of the effect she has on me, I can’t help the bite in my tone. “What can I do for you, Anais?”
She freezes on the spot, searching my eyes for something. She won’t find what she’s looking for. The blank mask I know she despises is strapped in place, preventing her from seeing the truth.
She chews her bottom lip. My cock stirs with interest, and I inwardly scold myself. When it comes to the woman in front of it, I have zero control. Ironic really. Before I allowed Anais into my life, I was known for restraint.
I stare at her, silently demanding she say the reason she’s here. Fire flashes in her eyes, her shoulders squaring as she prepares herself. “I was thinking… dinner tonight?” she asks it as a question but it’s not one.
“Is that a question?”
She shrugs, her gaze narrowing. “More of a suggestion. After the Rothman party I thought we could talk–”
I’m shaking my head before I can stop myself, cutting her off. “No.”
Her confidence falters, hurt creeping into her expression.
“No?” she asks incredulous.
“No.” I snap, making her jump. I inhale, trying to calm down.
I’m on edge, and honestly, I can only blame myself, but Anais also needs to take some accountability.
Had she not pushed, I wouldn’t be in this mess.
“I don’t know what stupid idea you have in your head Anais, but we are not a couple.
We’ve fucked – more than we probably should have–” I add, and she flinches, the pain on her face now plain as day.
I’m an asshole of the worst kind. All I want is to go to her, wrap her in my arms, bury my head in the crook of her neck, and whisper words of comfort.
But I can’t. This thing between us had to end at some point, and now is as good a time as any.
No need to lead her on any more than I already have.
My jaw clenches, wanting to erase the hurt, soften the blow.
But what’s the point? I sigh. “Look, I’m having a boys’ night.
No women allowed.” I add that last part for no reason. She knows what boys’ night means.
“Is this about my brother?” Her lips tremble and my chest cracks. Fuck. This is harder than I thought it would be.
“Yes,” I grate out. “He will never fucking accept us, Anais. Never. I fucked up.” I run a frustrated hand through my hair. “Christ, do you know what he’d do to me if he found out? I never should’ve crossed that line with you.”
“We can make it work.” She whispers similar words as she did a couple of nights ago, when she begged me to tell Harrison.
I point blank refused. Anais took it as me choosing my friendship with her brother over my relationship with her.
But we don’t have a relationship. Not really.
This has to be done.
“No.” My tone leaves no room for argument.
Her face twists, in anger or pain, I’m not sure.
She closes the distance between us, slapping her palms on my desk.
“You, Evan Maxwell, are an asshole,” she growls, trying to sound threatening but it comes across cute rather than anything else.
Like an angry little kitten. “I know what you’re doing.
” I raise a brow, smirking for her to continue.
“You won’t tell my brother because you’re scared of your feelings for me and you’re pushing me away.
” My smirk falters before I quickly recover.
“But that’s okay, I’ll be man enough for the both of us. ”
“As fascinating as your evaluation is, I have things to do.” I drawl, dismissive, but it doesn’t stop her little meltdown.
Undeterred, her sharp gaze narrows. “Unlike you, I can admit how I feel.”
The room feels suffocating. I yank at the knot of my tie, desperate for air. “And how do you feel?”
I must be a fucking masochist to ask that question.
She smiles softly. A sharp tightness grips my chest. Instinctively, I reach up, rubbing the spot, hoping to soothe the ache. Fuck me. Am I having a heart attack?
“I love you, Evan,” she says simply, truthfully, and I jolt like I’ve been shocked. “Despite your asshole ways. I always have. Always will.”
Panic claws my throat, thick and choking. Those three words. I don’t want them. Like a cornered animal, fighting to protect itself, something inside me snaps. I’m up out of my seat, shoving my face close to hers.
“You don’t know what love is,” I hiss.
She shakes her head, smiling sadly. “I do. And it’s you,” she breathes. “You are love. My love.”
I freeze, my eyes searching hers, then I push away from my desk, putting space between us.
My laugh is sardonic. “No, I’m not. You’re fucking young, and I took advantage.
Some good sex and you’re in love?” I chuckle darkly.
“Fucking hell, Anais, get a grip. It was fucking. Nothing more, nothing less. Stop being na?ve. I always thought you were delusional, but this,” I wave my hand between us, “is next level.”
Despite my hurtful words, she doesn’t back down. With tears in her lilac eyes, she glares at me, strong, determined. “You’re the fucking delusional one,” she screams, finger pointed at me like I’ve somehow forgotten who I am.
“Keep your damn voice down,” I warn.
Sure, the room is soundproof but that’s not the point.
“No. You need to hear this.” Her chest rises and falls with her anger. “You. Are. Delusional. Evan.” She enunciates every word. “I saw and felt exactly the same as you did that night. When will you admit you feel more?” She goads, and all my resolve snaps.
“Never.” I grit out. “Because I don’t feel anything. I told you,” I inhale, eyes narrowing. “I fucking warned you. I was honest from the beginning. It’s not my fault you can’t handle a no strings arrangement.”
She blinks, tears running down her face. I have the sudden urge to lick them, but quickly tamp that down. Her face screws up in disappointment. It hits me right in the chest. I don’t want to disappoint her, but I also can’t give her what she wants.
“Fuck you,” she spits.
I chuckle, but it’s void of any emotion. “We did. Several times, in fact. And now we’re done.”
Her breath hitches, disbelief flashing in her wide eyes before she masks it. The blank look on her face I fucking hate. Anais’s always been so expressive, always worn her heart on her sleeve, and I hate myself for breaking her.
“Do you know what, Evan.” She steps back, resigned. “I think we are.”
And with that she turns, holding herself gracefully, like I haven’t just destroyed her, and leaves my office, slamming the door behind her.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Maxwell?” Harrison asks from his seat beside me, his assessing eyes curious.
Taking a sip of my scotch, I eye the four half-naked women wandering around Harrison’s apartment. None of them do a thing for me. My cock doesn’t even twitch. “Why the hell did you think it’d be a good idea to invite women to boys’ night?”
He glances up, looking at them as if he only just remembered they’re here. A smirk curves his lips. “Let’s just say, I thought we could all do with letting loose.”
“If I wanted to let loose, I’d go to Elite.” I grumble, my bad mood getting worse with every second that passes.
“I let loose most nights… but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to loosen up more.” Nathanial unhelpfully adds, a devilish smirk on his face.
“I can’t believe I left the nanny alone – who, by the way, has only been working for me for three days – for this,” Hayes shakes his head, his lip curled in disdain.
Movement from the entryway catches my attention. Jameson appears, his face stricken, and a hint of something else I can’t decipher lingering in his eyes. He pauses, surveying the women. His expression turns to one of disgust.
“What the fuck is this?” he barks.
Harrison rolls his eyes, his voice sardonic when he speaks. “Nice of you to join us, Jameson.”
Jameson shakes his head, moving further into the room and joining us at the round table. He takes the tumbler of scotch Parker hands him and downs it in one go. We all exchange a look, knowing something’s wrong.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
His gaze bounces between us. He exhales, running a hand down his face. “I found Monroe.”
A collective gasp rings out around the table.
Three words.
Three words I never thought I’d hear in this lifetime.
“Where?” Rowan demands.
We were all there to witness the Monroe shit. All watched as the billionaire fell in love with the scholarship student. And then she disappeared. Jameson has never been the same since.
Jameson’s eyes meet mine. “Remember the hotel I was looking to buy?”
I nod, “The one in Brooklyn?”
He gets this funny look. “Yeah. Long story short. She was there. Can you fucking believe it? A maid. In the hotel I’m buying.” He chokes out, his voice filled with emotion. “She was right under my nose.”
“What happened? Did you confront her?” Nathanial asks.
Before Jameson opens his mouth to respond, Anais storms into her brother’s apartment like a whirlwind, her lilac eyes blazing. I freeze.
“Anais?” Harrison asks, confused.
“Boys only?” she screams, eyes locking on me.
This is it.
The moment my indiscretions are revealed.
My heart hammers in my chest. One beat. Two. Three.
“Anais,” I warn, knowing she’s about to expose our relationship to the one person I never wanted to find out about us.
“What the fuck is going on?” Harrison barks, but I don’t pay him any mind.
Anais stomps to the table, and I catch a flicker of amusement in Nathanial’s eyes.
Fucker’s enjoying every second of this. I swear the bastard thrives on drama.
She stops in front of us, her challenging gaze locked on me.
Without breaking her stare, she sweeps her arm across the table.
Drinks, cigars, poker chips, and cards go flying, crashing to the floor.
Chairs scrape against the tiled floor as my friends jump away, trying to avoid the mess. But I stay seated, watching the brat with indifference, waiting for what she’ll do next.
Her chest heaves with each furious intake of air, and her usual poise is nowhere to be seen. Right now, Anais is out of control, and every bit of her anger – which is deserved – is aimed at me. The pang in my chest is painful as I watch her.
But like a car wreck, I can’t look away from the beautiful girl with fire in her lilac eyes.
The one who’s clawed her way under my skin and made herself a home.
The one… I just might be in love with.