Chapter 46
Anais
The fall semester has officially begun. Last week, I moved back into the campus apartment I share with Lana.
It’s been three weeks since everything happened with Evan.
And after the initial texts and phone calls from him, there’s been nothing.
No more messages. No DMs. No emails. No phone calls. Not even a damn carrier pigeon.
I guess he really is done with me.
I tried asking Harrison if Evan was okay, but he shut the conversation down fast. I understand why.
His little sister and his best friend. It’s a complicated situation, especially when my brother knows exactly who Evan is.
He and his friends have spent many years treating the city like it’s their own personal playground – sleeping around and discarding the women just as quick.
Harrison doesn’t want that for me.
Still, knowing that doesn’t change how I feel about Evan.
“You ready for classes to start?” Lana asks, settling on a stool in the kitchen as I chop up fruit for my breakfast smoothie.
“I think so.” I force a smile.
Lana sighs. Of course she sees straight through me. “Come on, Nais. It’s time to start living your life again. You’ve been a zombie the past couple of weeks. I hate seeing you like this.”
“I’m fine. Really.”
She climbs off the stool, comes around the counter and wraps me in a hug. “You’re not,” she whispers. “But you will be.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, fighting back the tears threating to spill. “How do you get over someone like Evan Maxwell?” I choke out. “I love him. I’ve always loved him. And he just…doesn’t care.”
Lana pulls back to look at my face. Smiling softly, she wipes away the tears on my cheeks.
I huff a laugh, exhausted from crying over someone who clearly doesn’t give a shit about me.
I wish I could cut that invisible string pulling me back to him.
Lana might’ve cut it using her metaphorical scissors, but the pull toward him feels stronger than ever. I hate it.
“Nais, he does care. If you believe anything, believe that.”
“Then why hasn’t he come for me?” I sniffle.
“I don’t know. But I do know that no one can be around someone like you and not feel something.” She smiles. “You’re the sun, Anais. It’s impossible not to get caught up in your orbit.”
Despite the heaviness weighing down on my chest, I smile. “Everyone needs a best friend like you, Nana. A hype girl. Even if what you’re saying is a lie.”
She laughs then sobers. “It’s true. If only you would just start believing it. Know your worth, Nais.”
My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I mull over Lana’s words.
I might not believe her statement about the sun, but I do know one thing.
I can’t keep pining after a man who has clearly made his choice.
I need to move on. School starts today. A new month.
A fresh start. Will I ever really move on from Evan?
No. But I can take back control of my life, bring back some semblance of normalcy. I can stop being a shell of a person.
My family is worried about me. My best friend, too. It’s time to take back the power. And there is no time like the present. Determination surges inside me. For the first time since I walked out of Harrison’s apartment, I feel hopeful.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Her brows furrow. “For what?”
I sigh, hugging her tightly. “For being the best friend a girl could ask for.”
I’m leaving my last class of the day when my phone rings. Fishing it out of my bag, I see my mother’s name flashing on the screen. This time, instead of ignoring her, I swipe the screen to answer.
“Hey, Mom,”
“Don’t ‘hey, Mom’ me, young lady, you’ve been ignoring my calls,” she states, getting straight to the point.
Groaning, I glance around the quad looking for an empty bench. “I’ve been busy, Mom.”
She sighs heavily down the line. “Look, I spoke to Elena.” I swallow at the mention of my godmother and Evan’s mom. “She told me what happened.”
I sink down on a bench, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. Our families are too intertwined to keep secrets for long. You can’t get away with hiding anything. Truthfully, I don’t know how Evan and I managed to hide our… situationship for as long as we did.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I murmur, gaze scanning the area.
“Honey,” she starts softly. “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t talk to me. To find out from my friend what’s been going on with my own daughter…” she trails off, hurt clear in her voice
Guilt swims in my gut. “I am sorry, Mom. Really.”
“So… Evan, huh?” she attempts to lighten the mood.
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. You know how I feel about him.” I point out.
She chuckles. “Yeah, I do.”
A shadow falls over me, and my head snaps up to find Jarrod standing there, smiling down at me. My stomach somersaults – and not in a good way – but still, I force a polite smile. “Look Mom, I’m just heading home. I’ll call you later?”
“Yeah, okay. Video call tonight?” she asks hopefully.
“Sure. Love you.” I end the call. “Oh, hey, Jarrod.”
He nods to the bench. “Mind if I join you?”
Rising to stand, I gather up my purse. “Actually, I was just leaving. The bench is all yours.”
His face falls, but he recovers quickly, plastering on an easy grin. “Want some company? I could walk you?”
My head shakes on its own volition. “It’s fine, I’ve got some errands to run.” I move to step around him, but he grabs my wrist, stopping me.
Every alarm bell in my body goes on high alert.
A shiver runs down my spine, my heart hammering in my chest. I glance down to where he grips me, before throwing him a pointed look. He releases me, stepping back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you like that,” he chuckles, before sliding his hands in his pockets as if to restrain himself.
My lips form a straight line. “I’ll see you around, Jarrod.”
I move around him, wanting to get the hell away. I’ve heard people say gut instinct is never wrong and right now mine is screaming that something is very off with this guy.
His next words send a chill running up my spine, making me pause. “I do hope so, Anais.”
Without looking at him, I stride away, my paces getting quicker with every step. I’m so caught up in my own mind, I don’t hear the familiar deep voice calling my name.
“Anais?”
Ignoring it, I keep walking.
“Anais,” he says more urgent this time.
Maybe I’m hearing his voice because I miss him so much.
“Anais,” he says once more, and when a strong hand wraps around my wrist I don’t recoil.
I’m tugged to a stop, my breath hitching in my throat when I find Evan Maxwell staring down at me. I blink once. Twice. Three times. And sure enough, he’s still there.
Evan Maxwell is standing on my campus.
All powerful in his designer suit, with a don’t fuck with me expression on his handsome face.
He searches my face, and I don’t know what he finds but his forehead creases in concern.
Then, gently, he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, his thumb stroking softly down my cheek, down to the pulse point in my neck.
I shiver at the familiar contact. I’ve been starved for his touch for so long now, I never want him to stop touching me.
“Are you okay?” he murmurs, his gaze locked on mine.
His voice snaps me out of my trance. I take a step back, putting space between us and his hand drops.
“What are you doing here?”
Disappointment flashes in his eyes, and he sighs, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “I needed to see you.”
Anger flares inside me. Now he decides to show up. When I’ve finally decided on a fresh start?
My lips tremble as I shake my head. “And where were you? I get nothing but silence from you this past week and suddenly you decide to show up. I thought you had given up on me.” My breath hitches at the thought. “You don’t get to do this to me.”
“Do what exactly?”
“This. Whatever this is.” I wave a finger between us.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Jarrod walks by. The glower he shoots Evan is pure venom. I pause. What the hell was that?
Evan’s jaw tightens, and I can tell it’s taking every ounce of self-control he possesses not to snap. “Look, I want to fix this.”
My eyes narrow. “And what exactly do you want to fix?”
“Us.”
That one word makes my heart skitter to a stop. Us? Does that mean he thinks we’re an us?
I shake my head, trying to clear the fog. I can’t allow myself to get caught up in Evan Maxwell’s orbit once again.
“No,” I grit out. “I already cut the string.”
“The string?” he repeats, squinting down at me.
Standing my ground, I nod as if he knows exactly what I’m talking about. “Yeah. I cut it.”
He stares at me as if I’ve lost my damn mind. And maybe I have. Sure feels like it. “Right,” he drawls. “Well, in the interest of honesty, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Frustration flares inside me. “Of course you don’t. You never did,” I mumble. “Now, if that’s all. I have things to do.”
I brush past him, but he grabs my wrist, stopping me. Again.
Ripping myself out of his hold, I spin to face him. “What is with men grabbing me today?” I snap.
He runs a hand through his hair, and my breath catches in my throat at the sight. He is so handsome he makes my chest ache. “Just wait? Please. We need to talk.”
I bristle. “There’s nothing left to say. You made it perfectly clear where we stand. Goodbye, Evan.”
“This isn’t goodbye,” he grinds out through clenched teeth. “You’ve seen how far I’ll go to push you away. What makes you think I won’t go even further to keep you?”
My mouth drops open, and I swear my heart stops altogether as his words wash over me.
Everything inside me wants to stay, to hear him out, but I can’t be that girl.
The one that lets her man walk all over her, then forgives him because she’s in love with him.
No. I will not be the rug he walks all over whenever it suits him.
I need to draw a line. Set the standard, if we are ever going to have a chance of an equal, healthy relationship.
With one last look at him, I turn on my heel and make my way back to my apartment, ready for this day to be over. Just before I round the corner of a building, I glance back.
Evan watches me, an unreadable look on his expression.
But whatever that look means, I know one thing for certain.
No good can come of it.
I should’ve listened when Evan Maxwell said he doesn’t do relationships.
But I thought I could change him. Thought I could make him love me.
And as much as I want to blame everything on him…
Some of it’s on me.