Chapter 3
Clara
Being forced to clean my room—until it was as spotless as it was when I showed up at Zee’s earlier today—was worth the look on his face when I called him Daddy.
I’d never seen someone blanch as drastically as he did.
The man had jerked out of my grip, jumping away from me as if I’d just stuck a hot poker to his skin.
And oh, how something niggled at the back of my mind, tempting me to do so much more.
Zee didn’t give me the chance, though. He’d demanded I clean the entire space, telling me some bullshit about needing to clean up the kitchen and make popcorn and get us drinks, all the while his eyes flitted about the room, landing everywhere but on me.
I would have found it hilarious if it didn’t hurt so damn much.
All I’d ever wanted in my life was standing right there, refusing to look me in the eye. When he tucked his tail and ran from the room, it felt like something inside of me broke. My mind played tricks on me as I picked up my papers and books, demanding more attention than I was ready to give.
Five times, I stacked my books and put them in my bag.
Five times, I sorted the papers, reordering them until they were right.
I yanked my clothes down off the mirror and the window, where they’d landed when I’d torn them off, trying to get out of the headspace that controlled my thoughts and my mind until I couldn’t focus on anything but the little rituals that took up all my time.
By the time I made it to Zee’s den, I was dying for a shot of the most potent drug I’d ever consumed—his attention.
He wasn’t even there. The drinks were set out. The TV was pulled up with a selection of movies to choose from. But Zee wasn’t on the plush sectional he’d bought years ago and rarely ever used.
Rather than hunting him down, I grabbed the remote and pulled up a few of the movies, reading the descriptions before choosing a murder mystery I thought sounded interesting enough.
Then I settled in on the middle of the couch, knees pulled up and head resting against the back as I waited for him, as my mind tumbled through the thousands of facts I’d read and studied and memorized in preparation for my finals tomorrow.
“Clara!” Zee’s sharp voice startled me, and I blinked rapidly, focusing on the blackened screen of the television before I pulled my gaze toward where he stood at the door.
“Hey.” I forced a smile. “There you are.”
“You okay, kid?” Zee eyed me dubiously, edging toward the couch like he thought I might bite.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He set a large bowl of popcorn on the ottoman before snagging a blanket off the back of the couch and tossing it toward me.
“You zoned out there for a moment. I called your name, and you didn’t answer, and you’re…
” His gaze darted to the blanket that he’d thrown into my lap. “You’re not exactly dressed.”
Frowning, I pulled the blanket away. I was still wearing the shirt I’d stolen from his dresser when I felt my mind starting to wander and needed his scent wrapped around me to help me focus. “I’m dressed.”
He pressed his fingers to his skull, closed his eyes, and sucked in a deep breath. “You’re not wearing anything other than my shirt, and you’re just lying there, spread eagle and…”
A grin tugged at my lips. I climbed off my back—where I’d apparently landed as my mind spun—and onto my knees. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of a little skin?”
He still hadn’t opened his eyes, and I couldn’t help it; I stood on the couch and went to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “It’s not like you’ve never seen me naked before.”
“Clara.” He bit the word out as his eyes snapped open, and he knocked me back, grabbing me by the shoulders and holding me at arm's length. “That’s not funny.”
But it was.
And I couldn’t stop my laughter.
The dark and brooding man, this Adonis that women would die for a taste of, was turning pink in the cheeks at the thought of my naked body.
Hell, it’s not like it was recent. The last time he’d helped me bathe and dress, I had to have only been five or six.
He was a doctor, for God’s sake. It’s not like he didn’t see bodies in every state of undress.
It’s not like a man as gorgeous as him hadn’t had women dying to share his bed.
To touch him.
Hold him.
Make love to him.
Be with him the way I’d only ever dreamed…
“Clara!” He snapped his fingers in front of my face, and I jerked my attention back to him. “You sure you’re okay?”
I forced a smile.
Forced a smile.
Forced…
“Fine.” It came out a whisper, and I could hardly blame him for the suspicion that filled his eyes. “Ready for the movie? It’s a murder mystery. Looks really good.”
Before he could stop me, grill me further, I reached for the remote and the bowl of popcorn, then gestured to the corner where he always sat whenever we watched movies together. Once he settled into it, I took my chance, sitting down next to him and putting the popcorn bowl atop our joined legs.
“This whole couch, and you have to sit this close?” he grumbled under his breath, but I only wiggled closer, flashing him a smile.
“I like being close to you.” I liked it, because the monster in my head calmed in his presence. I could think. I could breathe. I could focus without the need for a visit to my dealer beforehand. That itch to do, do, do wasn’t there when Zee was around. I could just… be.
His lips pulled into a pained smile, but I couldn’t let it affect me. If I thought about his rejection, I was sure I would break in two.
That would have to wait for another time.
That would have to wait for when I didn’t have my last two finals of the summer semester to deal with tomorrow.
I jabbed a finger into the buttons on the remote until the picture popped up and the movie started to play.
Then I settled back, leaning against Zee as I ignored that scritching, scratching animal in my brain.
Other than getting up to grab our drinks off the tray on the edge of the ottoman, and once more to get the blanket Zee had tossed on me on the other side of the couch, I didn’t leave his side.
Not when he handed the popcorn bowl off to me.
Not when he set his drink on the table at his side.
And certainly not as his eyes started to close, his body sank into the deep cushions on the couch, and his breathing quieted.
Only then did I move. I put the popcorn and my drink safely out of the way, then reached for the button on his pants.
He couldn’t sleep in his trousers.
He couldn’t.
I tugged them down his long legs, then draped that blanket over him before climbing in next to him and wrapping his arm around my waist. Then I watched the rest of the movie before drifting off into the most marvelous, peaceful sleep.