Chapter 9
Zeno
She was a hot mess, and I was royally fucked.
What was it about this girl that had my dick constantly straining in my pants, my hands invariably reaching out to touch her smooth, perfect skin?
She looked so broken, so innocent, so goddamned tempting in the tiny jean shorts and white tank top that showed off more of her body than my desperate mind could take.
The entire drive out to Paulo’s, I’d wanted to drag her out of her seat and into my lap. I’d wanted to slide my dick into her pretty pink folds and sink into her until there was nothing left of either of us. I wanted to touch her, taste her, do far, far more than just hold her fucking hand.
But I wanted to do that, too.
I wanted to soothe away the strained look in her eyes when I told her to sit in the driver’s seat, to take the wheel, to put the car in gear and press her foot on the gas.
I wanted to soothe away the tension that had built in my shoulders the minute she’d wrapped her arms around me in the kitchen this morning.
As the day progressed, her fears seemed to lessen, but the strain of holding myself back only grew.
I was so damn proud of her, of how she handled herself, how she handled the car.
Other than the one time she backed into a lilac bush planted at the side of the long, winding driveway, she hadn’t made a mistake.
Her confidence grew to the point that I felt comfortable telling her, “Why don’t you drive home? ”
“What? No!” She whipped her gaze away from the road, nearly crashing into one of Paulo’s cars that I’d had Maso park around the property for her to practice driving around. Had I not caught the wheel and dragged it toward the right, I would have had some explaining to do.
She slammed on the brakes and my voice came out strained as my seatbelt bit into my chest. “Clara, you’re going to be fine.”
“No, I’m not Zeno. Did you just see that? I almost crushed a two hundred-thousand-dollar Maybach! I’m not going to be fine!”
She buried her face in her hands, and once again, I felt like an utter fool. Once again, I’d stepped over a line I didn’t know existed and I’d set her off.
Easing the car into park, I debated over leaning back and letting her have her moment, or leaning toward her to offer her a source of comfort I’d long believed she didn’t get anywhere else.
Of course, I leaned toward her. I couldn’t say no to this girl.
“Clara—” I hadn’t even gotten an arm around her shoulder before she lunged toward me, climbing half out of her seat until she was hanging from my neck.
“Don’t make me, Zee,” she whimpered with her face pressed into my throat. “I can’t do it.”
I bit back a groan as her lips scraped against my skin. “You can, kid. You know you can. Clara Vinci doesn’t know how to back down.”
Something like a sob tore from her throat. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true.” I held her head against me, my throat tightening where her face touched it. “Because I’ve never met anyone as strong and resilient and beautiful as you.”
It wasn’t until she stiffened in my arms that I realized what I’d said. She lifted her head, and I wanted to look away. But I couldn’t tear my eyes from the tears clinging to her lashes.
“You think I’m beautiful?” It came out on a whisper, and the quiet sound had my throat tightening to the point of pain.
Lifting a hand, I wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Zee…” Rather than saying more, Clara leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. Even though everything inside me screamed to stop, to pull away, to push her out of the car and call her fucking parents to come take care of their own damn kid, I couldn’t.
I couldn’t hurt her that way.
I knew I was the only adult in her life that showed her the love she was so desperate for.
And fuck, I was so desperate for her.
As pathetic as that was, I couldn’t pull away. Not as she smoothed her hands down my chest. Not as she opened her mouth and her tongue tentatively touched mine.
Not as I gripped her head and kissed her the way I’d been dreaming of for far too many years, a violent possession that screamed that she was mine.
All mine.
Fucking hell.
“Clara.” I wrenched her face away from mine, gasping for breath and yet unable to move as her fingers cupped my erection through my pants. I wanted to bite my tongue, but the last bit of sense in my entire body forced one word out through my raw throat: “Stop.”
Face squished between my palms, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“We can’t do this.”
Slowly, she dragged her hand away, and there was no stopping the groan that rumbled through my chest as her fingers left my dick.
“Why not?” She hadn’t raised her voice, and I hadn’t removed my hands from her cheeks.
“Because…” I started, but I couldn’t find a single one of the reasons I’d been telling myself since I first noticed her that way.
I squeezed my eyes shut, tried to take a deep breath. But I was assaulted by Clara’s delectable scent.
“Our age,” I finally managed. “I’m old enough to be your father.”
“But you’re not.” She brushed her fingers along the short hairs on my chin. “You’re not my father. You actually care about me.”
My eyes snapped open, and I found hers focused on a spot on my shirt. “Your father loves you.”
She scoffed, pulling out of my grasp. “He sure has a funny way of showing it.” She crossed her arms under her breasts.
“He’s never home. He’s never come to a single performance or conference at school.
He never asks me how my day is or what I’m doing in my life.
The best thing he’s ever done for me is sending me off to your place every chance he gets. ”
“Clara—”
“At least with you, I feel like I’m loved. With you, I’m not ignored or poked and prodded until I can’t stand being in my own body or head. With you, I don’t have my mother’s impossibly high standards to compete against, and I can just be… me.”
The world around us fell silent, and any words I could possibly say to make her feel better escaped me. Everything she said had occurred to me at some point in the past. I had just hoped it hadn’t occurred to her.
Adalberto and Daphne had always expected excellence with both their children. Stephano achieved everything they’d ever hoped for and more.
But Clara.
My beautiful, broken Clara.
Nothing she’d ever done was good enough for them.
It was one more reason why I’d always taken her in every time they showed up at my front door.
I loved her.
I’d always loved her.
Just, not like this.
The problem was, I could still taste her on my lips and my tongue. I could still feel her hands upon me, sliding over my chest, my stomach…
My dick.
I was still hard, and I still wanted her the way I should never, ever want this girl.
I didn’t know how to tell her that without hurting her.
Reaching for her face once more, I opened my mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by three hard knocks at the driver’s side window.
Clara jerked away from the door, a scream wrenching from her throat that was so loud, I wasn’t sure my eardrums didn’t burst. I slammed my hands against the sides of my head, slammed my head against my own window as Clara scrambled into my lap, both her elbow and knee somehow slamming against my still-hard dick in her attempt to get away.
I grabbed hold of her, slapping one hand over her mouth as my free arm wrapped around her and held her against my chest. Through the window, Maso stood with eyes as wide as saucers and his face frozen in shock.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Vinci. Mr. Fierro.” The steward’s voice barely registered through the ringing in my ears. His mouth moved again, but I couldn’t understand what he said.
“What?” I asked, shaking my head.
Maso reached for the handle, opening the door and peeking in. “I’m sorry if I startled you. Is everything alright?” His gaze darted across the two of us. “I saw the car swerve and stop, and I was worried something was wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Maso.” I loosened my grip on Clara’s body, dropping my hand from her mouth. “We were just discussing whether or not to go home.”
He dipped his head. “Mr. D’Angelo is currently in the city, but you’re welcome to stay if you’d like. I can have Pippa cook up some dinner for you, if you’re planning on staying.”
Clara shifted in my lap, then her spine stiffened, and she froze as she sucked in a sharp breath. I was sure she felt me, my throbbing cock caught between the two of us. I took in my own breath, one full of Clara’s sweet, sweet scent.
“Why don’t you give us a few,” I managed. “We’ll drive back up to the house and let you know.”
“Very well.” He dipped his head again, then quietly closed the door and walked away.
Clara lifted her head off my shoulder, turning so she could look at me. Her pretty brown eyes were wide. Her pouty pink lips pursed before she pecked them to mine. “You’re still hard.”
“Clara—”
“Do you still want me?”
Yes.
Fucking hell.
“Clara, don’t—”
“Because I want you, Zeno. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”
“Kid—”
She stopped me with a finger to my lips. “Every night, I dream of you. Of what it would feel like to have you inside of me. To have you make love to me. I want you, Zeno. I want to make love to you.”
I shook my head, pried her hand away from my face. “I can’t do this with you. I won’t.”
“Why not?”
Why did she have to look so broken?
Why did loving her have to hurt so much?
“Because I don’t love you like that.”
Lies.
Every last bit of it was lies.
Because I did love her like that. I loved her more than I’d ever loved anything in my life. But making love to her wasn’t something I could do. What I felt for her went beyond love, and I knew if I gave in, I’d tear her in two before I climbed inside of her and lost myself to this beautiful girl.
And neither of us would ever be the same.
Clara swallowed down her pain and climbed from my lap. She drove back to the house, and in the time it took to tell Maso we were leaving, she’d reclaimed the passenger seat.
She barely talked to me as I drove her back to the city. She barely looked back at me when we got to her house and she opened the door.
But she did look back. Just enough to catch my eye before she told me, “I love you, Zee.”
She walked to the front door, head held high and her tight body tense. When she disappeared behind the solid wood door, I wiped a heavy hand down my face.
“I love you too, kid.”