Chapter 23
Zeno
There was a fourth level to my house that no one really knew about.
It was sparsely furnished and rarely used, but it was my favorite room in the entire place.
A skylight shone down on the old bed, and my favorite leather chair sat to the far side of the small room.
The low ceilings made standing up straight impossible, but there was plenty of space for storage, and plenty of privacy when I needed to get away.
That need had never been greater than it was after coming home from Nadia’s. From reliving our tragic shared past, to hearing the horrors of her life since she was forced to marry, to watching Clara and Mic flirt every chance they got, I was no longer functioning at my highest capacity.
I needed an escape. I needed relief the way Clara had needed that pill in the middle of the airport. Her anxiety presented itself in ways different from mine.
And our treatments were vastly different.
Instead of a pill, my medicine came in the form of a tightly rolled blunt.
While she took hers with little more than a mouthful of water, mine left a haze of smoke hanging over the room.
They may have come in different forms, but they worked much the same way, relaxing our bodies and minds and helping to wash the anxiety away.
So while Clara slept nearly naked in my bed, I took refuge in my attic, surrounded by boxes of medical supplies, old books, and smoke. With my feet up and my head against the back of the chair, I let the marijuana work through me, calming my mind and trying to turn off my jealousy.
Mic was Clara’s age, nearly twenty years younger than me. He was a nice kid. Someone not immune to the ways of the Syndicate and the rights and responsibilities that came with being from this world. He’d be a good match for her, was clearly smitten with her…
But she was mine.
My need to possess her had never been greater than when the kid had taken her hand and brought it to his lips. I had the unrealistic desire to rip out his throat with my bare hand in an effort to stem his smooth-talking ways.
My obsession only strengthened throughout the day. When I’d found them holding hands on the couch after he’d gotten faint. When she kept touching his arm while I suffered through our early dinner.
As the two made plans for next week, when Clara promised to take him to campus to show him around the city.
Fuck.
I never imagined having Clara move on would hurt so fucking much.
And I hated myself for every minute in the past I’d wished I could let her go.
After taking a long drag from my blunt, I reached for my ashtray but knocked over my decanter instead. I let out a curse, jumping from my chair to rescue my whiskey before it spilled all over the floor.
Only to dump half the bottle down the front of my pants.
I sucked on the blunt as I shucked my pants, then wiped up the spilled liquid and tossed the pile of wet cloth onto the floor near the steps.
But I was half-tempted to leave it. To give up on the whole ordeal and climb onto the bed.
I couldn’t return to my bedroom. Not with Clara sleeping in my space.
Not with the heavy desire still pulsing through my veins.
Plopping back in my chair, I’d barely put my feet back up before I heard the stairs creak.
“Zeno? Are you up here?”
A groan tumbled from my throat before I could stop it. Through the dim light shining through the skylight, I could see Clara’s gaze dance my way.
“What are you doing up here?”
Wasn’t sure she really needed me to explain, what with her waving her hand in front of her face to clear away the smoke. I held my tongue, conscious that I’d likely hurt her feelings if I told her the truth.
I’m hiding from you.
Why?
Because I can’t stop myself from wanting to stick my thick cock in your soaked pussy.
Jesus, fuck!
Just thinking about it made the blood in my body divert itself.
“What’s wrong?” Clara’s voice was just a whisper, but my little hurricane sent a storm of want through me as she stopped just inches from my chair.
In place of the tight sleep shorts and tank top she’d favored before I defiled her, she now went to bed wearing nothing but a T-shirt that barely covered her ass.
I knew what wasn’t underneath it.
I’d seen her nakedness as that shirt slid up her slim waist.
Nakedness that had tempted me in the middle of the night.
That had me gripping my cock and jerking off as she slept, unknowing, beside me.
After getting no response, Clara climbed onto my lap, one leg on either side of me and her hands on my shoulders. She leaned forward and put her mouth near my ear. “Having fun spending time with all your spider friends?”
Either she anticipated my response or the marijuana had me moving at a snail’s pace. She clamped her hands down on either side of my face and forced me to look at her.
“I’m kidding, Zeno,” she cooed, running her thumbs along my cheeks. “I’m just kidding. I won’t let the spiders hurt you.”
It wasn’t until she brushed her lips to mine that I loosened my grip on her wrists.
A grip I didn’t even realize I had on her until I wanted to move her hands.
“Clara.”
“What’s wrong?” She edged back, causing sweet friction between us my dick couldn’t ignore.
“I can’t do this anymore, kid.”
“What can’t you do?”
“This.” I smoothed my hands down to her waist, wanting to push her away. Wanting to pull her close. “This push and pull with you. You tempting me to do things I shouldn’t do.”
“Who says you shouldn’t do those things?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m twenty years your senior.”
“Hmm. You’re old enough to be my father.” She ground herself down on top of me, the thin fabric of my briefs the only thing keeping her pussy from drenching me more than my whiskey already had. “Right, Daddy?”
“Clara!” I bit my tongue, knowing my anger wouldn’t help. I worked my jaw side to side, trying to get the muscles to loosen while my stomach twisted into knots. “You shouldn’t waste your time on me.”
“I’m not wasting time. I’m exactly where I want to be.” She leaned forward, brushing her lips to mine. But I grabbed her by the jaw, forcing her away from me, despite the hurt burning in her eyes. “Zee?”
“That’s enough, kid.”
She rolled her eyes. “Sure thing, Daddy.”
“Don’t call me that!”
Clara broke free from my grasp, and before I could react, her mouth crushed mine.
I went to tell her to quit, but the minute I opened my mouth, her tongue swept in and I couldn’t stop myself from getting tangled up in her.
I breathed her in, desperate for some sense of normalcy, some little bit of decency to keep me from devouring the girl.
But my reflexes were slow, and my mind was muddled, and I couldn’t stop myself from wanting her.
Not as she slid her slim hands down my chest and tucked her fingers inside my waistband.
Not as I reached to stop her and she grabbed my hand, curling my palm until I was cupping her pussy.
I rocked into her fist, thrust my fingers into her core, and devoured every sound she made as she cried out for more.
It wasn’t until she’d lined herself up with my dick that I managed to shake loose my lust and push her away.
“Clara, stop!”
I pushed her too hard. She tumbled backward, legs splayed wide in front of me as she nearly tumbled from my footstool and onto the floor.
“You need to stop. Stop pushing this with me. Stop trying to make me fall for your games.”
The hurt in her eyes nearly broke me, but this needed to be done.
Clara rolled off the footstool, rose to her full height, and smoothed her shirt over her breasts and her thighs. Then, with a shaky breath, she lifted her gaze to mine.
“I thought you loved me.”
“Not like that!” My voice was the thunder rolling around in our storm.
My words were the lightning as they struck her heart.
“Not like that.” It was just a whisper, but the room and the city and the screaming in my head had gone quiet, and her voice was the only thing I heard. I swore, her lip trembled, but in the dim light, I couldn’t be sure. “Alright then. If that’s the way you want it.”
She turned away, only to stumble over my box of cigars and land, face first, on the bed. She shook it off, rolled over and sat up, looking back at me through the darkened room.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow sometime.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What do you care?” she hissed before lifting her chin.
“If you don’t want me, I guess I’ll have to find someone else who does.
Someone younger.” She scooted closer to the edge of the bed.
“Someone who thinks I’m beautiful and wants me for me.
I’m sure I can find someone out there, right?
The world is big. There’s got to be someone who would stick his dick in me and make me feel good.
Maybe…” She stood, glancing quickly at her clasped hands as my own balled into tight fists.
“Maybe I’ll call Michele. He looked like he knew his way around a pussy. ”
Fucking hell!
“Like hell you will!” I was out of my chair so fast, I startled the girl, causing her to stumble and fall to the mattress once more. She scrambled backward, as if she could see the fury that was raging through every single inch of me.
She didn’t get far. I clamped my hand around her ankle, dragging her across the mattress. She kicked with her other foot, getting free long enough to flip onto her knees before I grabbed both ankles and pulled her back.
She screamed as I shoved my aching cock inside her, not giving her warning, not giving her a chance to get ready for the intrusion. I fucked into her with everything I had, pinning her to the old, dusty mattress so she couldn’t move.
“Are you happy now,” I yelled, thrusting and thrusting and thrusting some more. She screamed again, but any words were lost as I pounded into her. “Is this what you wanted? You want me to fuck you? You want my dick inside you again?”
“No!” Her pain-filled cry stopped me in my place. Still stuffed inside her, I yanked her head up by her hair.
“No?” I hissed, trying to withstand the tightening of her pussy as I pulled her into this new angle.
“I just want you to love me,” she cried, her voice so broken it made my dick want to shrivel up and die. Then, so quiet I had to strain to hear, she whispered, “I just want one person to love me.”
“Clara…” I let go of her, and she scrambled away from me, crawling up the bed. Once more I grabbed her ankles, yanking her back to me, flipping her onto her back before I pinned her in place again. “You don’t think I love you?”
She looked away from me, squeezing her eyes shut when I gripped her chin and turned her face back to me. “I’ll never be enough for you.”
Cupping her cheek, I smoothed my thumb across the tears leaking from her eyes. My chest felt like it was ripped in two. “I do love you,” I promised.
“But not like that.”
It was my turn to close my eyes, because I never understood how much my words hurt her until now.
“Always like that,” I told her, bending to press a kiss to her forehead.
“Always.” I pressed one to her nose. “Like.” I kissed one cheek and then the other.
“That.” Finally, I kissed her lips. “I’ve loved you from the moment you were born, and that love has grown and changed just like you have.
I’m scared of how much I love you, Clara Vinci.
I’m scared of what it means for me. For us.
For the vow I made when my father was murdered.
But I love you. And each time I tell myself I can’t love you any more, you prove to me that it’s just a lie. ”
Her face broke and the tears leaking from her eyes doubled as she let out a cry. “I just want you to love me.”
“I do.” I kissed her again, whispering a mantra across her lips. “I do love you. I do.”
My heart pummeled my chest as I gathered her in my arms, getting lost in the girl as I nudged my swollen cock into her warm center. My mouth devoured her—her taste, her every little sound—as I made love to the woman I loved.
“Don’t leave me,” she whimpered, clinging to me so tightly my lungs struggled for breath. “Please, Zeno, don’t let me go.”
“Never.” It was a promise whispered against her skin. A plea for her to pledge the same.
I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t let her go. I loved Clara Vinci with everything in me, and I would die before I let anyone else take her away from me.
I made love to her in my attic bed, telling her over and over what I’d been too scared to say for far too long. “I love you, so much. I love you, and I’ll never let you go.”
Coaxing her out of her tears was a torture I wasn’t sure I could withstand, but I did it. I brought her back to me. I held her close as she fell apart in my arms, then spilled my seed into her womb, wanting to stay there forever, wanting to make love to her all over again.
But the world had other ideas. My phone rang on my side table, and I knew without looking, it was a call I couldn’t miss. I dragged myself away from her side, grabbed my phone, and held it to my ear.
“Hello—”
“Dr. Zee?” Lyndsey Mayer said, cutting in before I could finish the word. “I need your help.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s Angelo. I haven’t seen him since Monday.”
“Goddammit.”
“He was getting better. Then he just… ran away.”
I huffed out a strained breath. On the bed, Clara looked at me from between her legs, and her brokenness hit me again, the sight of her swollen eyes and her swollen pussy reminding me I had so much making up to do.
“Dr. Zee?”
I gave my head a shake, forcing myself to remember where I was. “It’s okay, Lyndsey. I’ll take care of it.”
Hanging up, I muted my phone, then tossed it face down onto my chair. Then I stalked back to the bed, back to Clara and her broken heart and her weeping pussy. I knelt between her legs, pressed a kiss to her lips as I thrust my dick into my new favorite place in my house.
I’d take care of it tomorrow.
For now, I needed to take care of my girl.